Musing

To BB – I just wanted to let you know that one of the nicest and most peaceful Christmas’s I ever had was spent alone. You have the right attitude; being alone is not the same as feeling lonely. I will think of you on Christmas Day. SF Calgary

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Remember to get out and vote on Saturday, Mark! This is the best we can do with democracy. You take a look at the Socialists down east and the way they are running their Leadership campaign. The truth of the matter is, how can 3500 people vote in the best interest of all Canadians. That is why our system in Alberta really works - ANYONE 16 years of age and over can vote for who they would like to see as Premier! Now that IS democracy in action!, BC, Coaldale

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Mark – It is my sincere belief that you should publish a daily reflective book of Musings. I can assure you that it would be a success! ( a cross between daily meditation, reflection and chicken soup for the soul) VBL – Englewood, CO

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I once joined a family for Christmas and it was a bit strange and not at all like "my" Christmas. The next year I was invited back... maybe pity, maybe my pecan pie - who knows, who cares? Now it wouldn't be Christmas for them or me if I wasn't there. Really good new shoes are rarely ever completely comfortable the first time you wear them... they just have to be broken in, ch, Chimacum

-2C/29F, the sun had yet to cross the horizon as we went out this morning; Gusta (now asleep at my feet) was running hard while her intrepid owner struggled to keep her in sight let alone keep up; Chinook winds brought relief from our common cold

happy birthday to CD in Edmonton . .

some things fly by - every day – they just do

this person’s question, that one’s answer, someone with a problem, someone with a schedule change, someone with a bizarre point of view, someone with no point of view at all

our culture says ‘be Merry’, our season says ‘spread joy’

our mood sometimes says, ‘oh crap’

too busy most times to stop to consider someone else’s plight, we are going so hard on the treadmill to notice the friend or stranger with shoulders slumped, stopped at the side of the road or slumped into their chair

too busy to stop to lend a hand, too busy to lend an ear

too busy, not enough time

is it unique to this time of year or do I just notice it more?

this time of year, the shortness of days, the long lonely nights for some – the healthiest people deal with their challenges, talk about their issues – to vent, to explain, to engage someone in discussion

this time of year, especially for those who are troubled and feeling down, the ability to see the bright side of a situation, to see the silver lining in at least one of their clouds is very difficult for them

those who don’t talk, don’t write, don’t cry – suffering in silence, immobilized by their issues, their trauma, their pain

I find I don’t have to look far among friends, colleagues, clients or complete strangers – I’ve had a bit of each this week – a tiny glimpse at the totality of everyone’s problems

around us this time of year, especially these next 25 days, we will shop and wrap and schmooze, and eat and party our share in the buzz of the holiday season

for each of us there will be at least ONE someone left behind, at least ONE someone who sees no joy, who sees no reason for excitement

we cannot fix anyone or fix their problems, but be putting a hug around them or a knowing touch on their shoulder we can impact someone somehow

accepting someone’s troubled reality is far tougher than stepping in with advice or help

accepting someone’s sadness or worry with simple validation from a friend is probably more welcome that when we try to impose our solution to someone else’s problem

Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing,Only a signal shown, and a distant voice in the darkness;So on the ocean of life, we pass and speak one another,Only a look and a voice, then darkness again and a silence.
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

someone you know is in need of something today; don’t walk by, don’t put off the call, don’t talk superficially around the issue – let someone you know, let them know that you care enough to deal with whatever inconvenience it may be just to listen to them for a little while

just a little while

imagine the difference you will make for them

to say nothing of the difference it will make for you

if only for today, try not being ‘too busy’

brighten someone's day

Mark

338,836

Morning Mark, for the last little while, I have been receiving 3 copies of the musings, can you cut it down to one. Thanks, have a good day, MM, Edmonton

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Thank you so much for your invitation. It is generous of you to offer to include a stranger in your family dinner, however, I will decline. I have many friends and will have my choice of where to go if I decide to go anywhere. The problem with joining someone else's family gathering, especially at a time like Christmas, is that it tends to highlight what I am missing. I don't really expect to be unhappy or lonely on Christmas Day. I have plenty of things to do to keep myself amused. With luck it will be a nice day and a long walk down in Weasel Head with the dog will be the central activity of the day. If on the other hand it is crummy out, curling up with a hot chocolate (perhaps spiked!!) and a good book will do just as well, BB, Calgary

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Good reminder for me to stop watching people ….although I really enjoy it and participate in the world around me more. I am always amazed at your heading out to these things. I don’t think I would do it but if I did I know what my intentions would be and it wouldn’t be to watch. Stay warm, my friend! , DB, Red Deer

-24C/-12F (wind chill –34C/-29F), clear and very cold with predicted warming today and tomorrow Gusta running hard this morning as we walked just after the sun cleared the horizon - beautiful; humidity (or should I say lack of it) is driving me a nuts

making a great connection was no doubt the objective, but I wondered at first if the room was full of people afraid of what they had come there for

meeting someone with whom they could have had a stimulating conversation would have, I thought, been the ideal but many of the folks there acted like they would have been more comfortable sitting at home on a pin cushion rather than doing so in public for everyone to see

people watching is fun, given many people are so reserved that one has no idea what they are thinking; perhaps their fear is that there are people watching

lightning did not strike me but I think I introduced two people folks who, I think, made an interesting connection; nice people to watch

the occasion was when a very hardy bunch braved a wind-chill of -40 last night to attend a singles meet & greet party billed as '45 men and 45 women over 45'; I think they were quite a few short of that number, but it was interesting, scanning the room with a large portion of the folks hugging the perimeter of the room with their backs to the wall, speaking only when spoken to - reminiscent of pre-teen behaviour

I watch people a lot

it intrigues me

I learn a lot about them when I do

I often learn as much or more about myself

look around, you will see that almost always, there are people watching

Mark

338,860

Re: the cure - hello mark ..........yes i had to go out and see what 'a -41c wind shield' was all about!.............an exhilarating and instant puppy dog nose experience! ....two of your sentences have jumped out at me in the last few days .........well one was harry's ...........'i have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it' .............i never knew about harry back then, but a swimming teacher took an interest in my eldest then five year old son and told me....... 'encourage him in the things that he likes and is good at, the rest will fall into place'.........she died in a car accident shortly after that, but her words stayed with me while i brought up three sons, she was right, they, now like your daughters,.......... give me that ......... 'heart so full of pride u feel like it wants to burst and it takes your breath away' feeling!........the other sentence .....'if we anticipate opportunities for learning, laughter and living fully' .......i think that if everyone approached life with that attitude, that in itself is the cure required, .........BB said it too ....... 'happiness is not dependent on the things and people out there, but is part of who i chose to be'..........of course bombs that didn't go off would help too!, CG, Morningside

-29C/-20F (wind chill –40C/-41F), by Thursday it should be back to zero Celcius in south Calgary; lightly drifted crusty snow makes Gusta’s romp lots of fun as she bites chunks for snacks along the way

cold like this brings many things; cracking sounds in the walls, neighbours with broken pipes, the strange sound of cold tires on partly bare pavement

some people have expectations their car will start, that they will be on time for each meeting; expecting someone will do what WE want them to do; expectations that trouble or change will not intervene in our beautiful plans, wishes, dreams

“You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.” – Yogi Berra

when we see trouble coming, the things we fear looming large or get notice somehow of a threat on the horizon - which is better – take steps to avoid it, face it head on or pretend that trouble does not exist?

if we anticipate disaster, difficult change or trouble in some form we will surely experience it; but if we anticipate opportunities for learning, laughter and living fully – well, I think we find those too

BB wrote about anticipation of aloneness, anticipation of hurt and sadness; it has not arrived yet, but inevitably it will

some things are accidental, some are inevitably likely, some are dead certain; the more we worry about them, the more we give them a chance to hurt us, make us fearful, make us sad and surely make us mad

today feels like a time for curling up somewhere warm, a day for a roaring fire

fireplace is an interesting word

fire

place

may we all have fireplace expectations

may we all get that what we wish for

Mark

338,908

The scariness becomes a reliance on chemical pills to adjust ourselves to life, not that I don't need my own share, but think 10,000 years back when humans crossed the Bering Strait from Asia, I'm sure they weren't worried about depression and SAHD, and any other mental problems, they were just geared to survive. We've lost most of that instinct in the time since then, myself included, KG, ?

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Mark, thoughtful words this morning. I wonder if the "pill" wouldn't be worse than the situation it was trying to cure? Surely it is only with the "lows" that we know when we have a "high" and that life improved? Slip sliding away on the snowy coast..., JD, Vancouver

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Hi – This cold and snow got me to thinking about how our parents grew up. Log cabins with sod roofs for some members of my family in Saskatchewan, Peace River and Rocky Mountain House. No electricity, no gas for heat etc. Maybe the homeless are tougher than we can even imagine being. I know I would be very whiny living on the street. I guess that’s what makes our parents who they are today. My Mom is a whole lot tougher than I am, DB, Red Deer

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Addressing only the "haves" in the Westernized world, i.e. anyone with a place to call home and food on the table: there is an unfortunately too prevalent belief that happiness is somehow tied up in getting the things and life we want; the new car, the dream vacation, the perfect person to squeeze, the Leave it to Beaver family, the better job. The truth is that even if a person succeeds in satisfying their wants, the happiness they feel as a result is fleeting - gone when the novelty of what they have secured wears off and is replaced with wanting something else; something else to feel unhappy about not having. The life lesson many fail to learn is that it is not easy to find happiness in ourselves but it is impossible to find it anywhere else. Regarding Christmas, I am annually appalled by the grotesque commercialization that starts in October with gawdy mall decorations and buy, buy, buy messages shouted from every billboard, radio and television. The average Canadian (that's individual not family) will spend over $1000 on Christmas which wouldn't be a bad thing except a huge percentage of this is incurred as debt that will not be paid off until June. The credit card companies are laughing all the way to the bank as they rake in 18+% on people's excessive spending. No wonder people are stressed by the season with no one to blame but themselves. Can they honestly believe that they will be less happy if they have less luxury food items, less alcohol, less expensive presents, less new clothes but actually got through the thing without facing 6 months of debt? Too bad teaching our children that less is more is less important then teaching them that more is better even if it means going into debt to get it. The reality is young children are happy with small things and older children are old enough to learn that happiness is not found in a Nintendo box. If they do not learn this lesson they will end up like so many people who spend a lifetime looking for happiness in the next new possession or in the next new person. At this season in particular the media inundates us with images of joyful family gatherings and too many people buy into the belief that the only way to be happy is to have this themselves. Unfortunately distance (by choice or necessity), divorce and familial discord mean that for many people there will be no Norman Rockwell-like celebration. Instead of making the best of reality many will choose to make themselves unhappy by wallowing around in self-pity over what they do not have. Conversely, if a person is an unhappy person, being able to sit down for a lovely Christmas dinner with a loving family isn't going to make them happy. I have reasons to be unhappy this Christmas. My 20 year marriage ended 18 months ago, my only child will be with my ex from Dec 22 - Jan 2 so for the first time in 17 years I will not be with him at Christmas and my extended family is a complete disaster of broken marriages and relationships rife with tension. There will no joyful family Christmas dinner for me. Naturally I would prefer my circumstances to be different but wanting something doesn't make it so, nor does being unhappy about it. Lying on the couch crying does nothing except make me fat and dehydrated. Whether I end up alone that day or spend it with friends, I will be happy because my happiness is not dependant on the things and people out there but is part of who I choose to be, BB, Calgary

-25C/-17F (wind chill –39C/-39F), Gusta’s fur coat serving its purpose as we had a great walk outbound with wind at our backs while coming back was a different story; with some fresh snow over night traffic will be brutal

the holiday season is here, the merchandizing of happiness is all around us, but why are so many people unhappy?

some seem to make a business out of being unhappy

some people are stressed because they have no one to squeeze at night, others because of who they have to squeeze at night; some have someone to squeeze but wish it was someone else

sadly, I think, there are a lot of people walking around ‘apparently happy’ who are deeply troubled; some troubled by their reality, others troubled because they cannot accept reality, still more troubled because they do not have things going their way – it could be a job, a relationship with a family member or it could be with the person you squeeze at night

if I could give away 90% of my happiness so someone else could be happy, that would be good because my 10% is still lots, but, it does not work that way; for those with Seasonal Affective Disorder, the message is obvious - move south to the sun

but, for most people who are down at this time of year all day warmth and sunshine will not fix what is wrong; I feel sorry for those who hold a grudge or hold feelings so strong they cannot let others in

I feel sorry for those who forgot how to give or receive a warm hug a long time ago, sorry too for those who lost their hug partners who are stuck . . . unable to move on with their lives

for some it is time to think or time to drink or time to visit a shrink, but who says the head-doctor doesn’t have their own whirl of challenges messing up their life too

I wonder if and to what degree these seasonal blues affect people in countries that are different than hours; in countries where a meal a day is a victory, where a pill that will help anyone is unheard of, where exposure to the modern world and technology might only come in the form of a bomb dropped near you; in those countries where safety, survival and protection of those close to you is the daily and only focus, what is their stress level about relationships this time of year?

if there is a cure – a simple little pill – how many would take it?

I wonder about that

by the way, I looked up Maui weather this morning . . 80F today

Mark

338,908

And they say the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree!, KG, ?

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To SF: I applaud you for trying. This time it did not help but just think if it did, you would have helped make a valuable difference in that girl's life, CCC, Calgary

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Hello ADR Thank you for the very sensible words on the homeless situation. Your suggestion that the helping agencies already serving people should take responsibility for finding solutions both for their clients individually, and for sponsoring solution options for groups of clients, is just great. There might be more urgency to act if the responsibilities were clearer. Are unity and coordinated approaches worth it, if the urgency to help those suffering is lost in lengthy coordination processes. Isn't that what has happened to the need for supportive housing for the hard to house - it's no-one's responsibility because it is everyone's responsibility. I agree that better data should improve outcomes. Also kudos for noting that incomes at the lower income levels are not keeping up with housing costs - but who has the strength to take on the vested interests that want to increase labour supply (with few exceptions the effect is to keep wages down) and at the same time sponsor expensive city planning approaches? I hope that you work somewhere that contributes to social policies and social agencies. LHE, Calgary

-25C/-13F, overcast & calm, our early walk was short and to the point; Gusta is recovering from processing something un-digestible – she’s feeling much perkier now

yesterday work waited, projects waited, reading waited, writing waited too

someone wrote: ‘A tree is known by its fruit.’

hangin’ with my kids yesterday was one of my best days in a long while; if all I am ever known for in life is that I was father to these two extraordinary women, that will be fine with me

wow . . in just a few short years I've gone from being an important authority figure, a supervisor, a provider and a funder to being just a spectator, watching the fruits of my labour

it is great to watch from where I sit

we shopped, ate, shopped, ate, talked and talked and talked some more; we saw the new flick ‘Bobby’ – I don’t usually go to movies where I know the story and know how it ends but Bobby is one of those extraordinarily well done exceptions

off to the gym now . . then brunch with my dad

Mark

338,932

I’m not trying to add fuel to any sort of fire but I have a story to tell. Last year, I ran into a homeless person on Stephen Ave mall while out for a Christmas celebration with co-workers. This person was female, about my age and it just about broke my heart to see her that way so I decided to help her. I checked with the social workers at the Mustard Seed first and she was known to them. She was a crack addict and at the time I met her, she was very ill. Having decided to sponsor her, I rented her a motel room on a monthly basis, bought her clothes, food, microwave, transit pass, bedding, dishes and everything else needed to live comfortably. The first few weeks, she was so ill she barely left the room so I visited with her on a daily basis. She refused to go to a hospital. I encouraged her to get into a rehab program but though she professed interest in making the change in her life, nothing ever came of it. As soon as she was feeling better, she sold all of the things I bought her and seemed to prefer sleeping in doorways and bathrooms than in the room I was still paying for. To make a long story short, after about two months of this, I gave up on it. I don’t know what happened to her. My husband was very much against me doing this in the first place as he believes my energy would have been better spent helping the organizations that help people like her. He believes that if someone really wants help, they’ll make their way to that door and after having given it a shot on an individual basis, I have to say I agree. I spent thousands of dollars on just this one person who didn’t take advantage of the opportunity offered. I wonder what could have been done with this money, that would have has a more lasting effect because in truth, I really feel it was a waste of my time and resources. I write this because I’d like everyone commenting on this issue, to know that with this particular homeless person, it seems it was a choice to stay in these circumstances. I don’t understand it but it’s not as if no one has ever tried to help. SF, Calgary

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FYI. This material presents a comprehensive and thoughtful approach to thehomeless issue. While these strategies can be adopted here, I question ifthere is the political will to provide leadership-either at the municipalor provincial level: The following is the text from the National Alliance to End Homelessness' (US) website... Thirty years ago there was not wide-spread homelessness in America. Tonight nearly a million people will be homeless, despite a two billion dollar a year infrastructure designed to deal with the problem. Can homelessness be ended? While the seeds of homelessness were planted in the 1960s and 1970s with de-institutionalization of mentally ill people and loss of affordable housing stock, wide-spread homelessness did not emerge until the 1980s. Several factors have affected its growth over the last two decades. Housing has become scarcer for those with little money. Earnings from employment and from benefits have not kept pace with the cost of housing for low income and poor people. Services that every family needs for support and stability have become harder for very poor people to afford or find. In addition to these systemic causes, social changes have exacerbated the personal problems of many poor Americans, leading to them to be more vulnerable to homelessness. These social trends have included new kinds of illegal drugs, more single parent and teen-headed households with low earning power, and thinning support networks. These causes of homelessness must be addressed. People who are homeless must be helped, and the current system does this reasonably well for many of those who become homeless. But the homeless assistance system can neither prevent people from becoming homeless nor change the overall availability of housing, income, and services that will truly end homelessness. Mainstream social programs, on the other hand, do have the ability to prevent and end homelessness. These are programs like welfare, health care, mental health care, substance abuse treatment, veterans' assistance, and so on. These programs, however, are over-subscribed. Perversely, the very existence of the homeless assistance system encourages these mainstream systems to shift the cost and responsibility for helping the most vulnerable people to the homeless assistance system. This dysfunctional situation is becoming more and more institutionalized. Can nothing be done? The National Alliance to End Homelessness believes that, in fact, ending homelessness is well within the nation's grasp. We can reverse the incentives in mainstream systems so that rather than causing homelessness, they are preventing it. And we can make the homeless assistance system more outcome-driven by tailoring solution-oriented approaches more directly to the needs of the various sub-populations of the homeless population. In this way, homelessness canbe ended within ten years. To end homelessness in ten years, the following four steps should be taken, simultaneously. Plan for Outcomes Today most American communities plan how to manage homelessness-not how to end it. In fact, new data has shown that most localities could help homeless people much more effectively by changing the mix of assistance they provide. A first step in accomplishing this is to collect much better data at the local level. A second step is to create a planning process that focuses on the outcome of ending homelessness and then brings to the table not just the homeless assistance providers, but the mainstream state andlocal agencies and organizations whose clients are homeless. The homeless assistance system ends homelessness for thousands of people every day, but they are quickly replaced by others. People who become homeless are almost always clients of public systems of care and assistance. These include the mental health system, the public health system, the welfare system, and the veterans system, as well as the criminal justice and the child protective service systems (including fostercare). The more effective the homeless assistance system is in caring for people, the less incentive these other systems have to deal with the most troubled people and the more incentive they have to shift the cost of serving them to the homeless assistance system. This situation must be reversed. The flow of incentives can favor helping the people with the most complex problems. As in many other social areas,investment in prevention holds the promise of saving money on expensivesystems of remedial care. Most people who become homeless enter and exit homelessness relatively quickly. Although there is a housing shortage, they accommodate this shortage and find housing. There is a much smaller group of people which spends more time in the system. The latter group-the majority of whom are chronically homeless and chronically ill-virtually lives in the sheltersystem and is a heavy user of other expensive public systems such as hospitals and jails. People should be helped to exit homelessness as quickly as possible througha Housing First approach. For the chronically homeless, this means permanent supportive housing (housing with services)-a solution that will save money as it reduces the use of other public systems. For families and less disabled single adults, it means getting people very quickly into permanent housing and linking them with services. People should not spend years in homeless systems, either in shelter or in transitional housing. While the systems can be changed to prevent homelessness and shorten the experience of homelessness, ultimately people will continue to bethreatened with instability until the supply of affordable housing is increased; incomes of the poor are adequate to pay for necessities such as food, shelter, and health care and disadvantaged people can receive the services they need. Attempts to change the homeless assistance system must take place with the context of larger efforts to help very poor people. Taking these steps will change the dynamic of homelessness. While it will not stop people from losing their housing, it will alter the way in which housing crises are dealt with. While it will not end poverty, it will require that housing stability be a measure of success for those who assist poor people. The National Alliance to End Homelessness believes that these adjustments are necessary to avoid the complete institutionalization of homelessness. If implemented over time, they can lead to an end to homelessness within ten years, ADR, Calgary

-21C/-5F, overcast & calm; Gusta and the black lab across the lagoon were both off-leash, enthusiastic and hastily re-leashed by their owners to prevent the run-off; even the stuck up Scottie owner said ‘good morning’

Carla and Krista arrived last night; lots to talk about – shopping & hanging out are on our agenda for today and tomorrow; great to have these incredible visitors who do nothing but make me proud; many years ago I tried to put in practice the wisdom of Harry Truman:
‘I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.’

Harry was right, about many things in politics, in relationships, in life; perhaps he was right about something else, when one considers the recent dialogue on homelessness and needs for affordable housing . . something he said might be a diagnosis of the problem . . or maybe a prescription for finding a solution:
‘It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit’

politics of course is ALL about people taking credit, though so much of 'getting it their way' often is the result of someone else 'getting it very wrong', in other words someone's good fortune is the product of someone else's gaff as much as wisdom or forethought or political savvy

often we remark at how something serendipitous happened, how events, circumstances and ideas collide, but why, how, how come, what for; but what signals a great day, a pleasant time or some special omen?

what are the signs - is it an eagle flying overhead? a broken shoe lace? a dead battery or a a sore throat? . . are these signs of something good or bad about to happen or just stuff that happens to people sometimes? I was looking for signs this morning but, finding none, I will just have to muddle through somehow

I am not sure if I can handle another week of the run-off of the talking heads, columnists and spin-doctors telling me who is really in 1st, 2nd or 3rd place, who is right as rain, who is yesterday’s man

my question du jour is this; will we recognize our province or our country 5 years from now, 10 years from now based on an election decision this Saturday . . or next?

are we choosing the lesser of the evils, are they each lumps of coal, or will one truly be a diamond in the rough waiting to lead us to heights never dreamt?

I wonder, if they were interested in participating in the choice – or better yet, if they were making the choice for all of us, how those without a place to live in this prosperous city would vote – who would they choose as the next premier of the province; more to the point, would any of the candidates have the guts to place the decision in those hands?

maybe it is time to ask more people what they want to do, then advise them to do it?

few great things can be explained by accident – probably as many as result from great deliberation; while it seems Mr. Harper is stick-handling nicely with Quebec (fall-out to be determined), in Alberta the hard work of many will culminate in the election (possibly) of a new premier for our province today though most likely there will be a run-off vote next week among the top three contenders

I am taking my daughters our for some well deserved retail therapy, to the gym and off to see the new movie ‘Bobby’

the high light of my day will have little to do with shopping, politics or the movies; though we love to talk about them all the tour de force will be a big feast (short ribs for Krista and me, non-meat chicken things for vegetarian Carla), laughter and a generous serving of Harry’s advice

Mark

338,956

I have my hammer in hand. What is the point again? Is it all so linear? Those who, through fortune, hard work, dirty tricks or sheer mystery have the means and take the time to come to a breakfast to hear how they CAN financially help the homeless should suffer the fate of the homeless for breakfast? Pitiful! Maybe there are a few freeloaders and political wannabe fat cats attending. Otherwise, people who have hard-earned respect and even harder-earned dollars -- dollars and a desire to contribute, set elegantly on the breakfast table by the fact that they are attending -- should be served whatever they damned well want for breakfast. Or, as I clean up puppypoop, do I sense that there were no homeless there and there was no real help there, just really smart political and gladhandling pooples marking territory? Wow!, VJP, De Winton

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hello mark..........i braved -20c for my walk this morning, with the sun just rising it was great, i felt very fortunate to be out there experiencing it, my adventure continues as the temperature drops!............the housing issue u tackled this week is a huge and delicate one, believe me, having lived in africa all my life, i know!...yes, i also know canada is not africa.........u are right though when u say that most problems are caused by people themselves..........my experience, in general, has been that the homeless, low income bracket u refer to are partly that way because of their own inability to want or try to solve their own problems, had they been invited to the breakfast u attended, the chances are that they would have been there for just that, the free breakfast!..............ie. the more they are given the more they expect,...... and yes i know u will shoot me down on that, but in brief, the solution i would offer would be for a flag ship low cost housing complex to be funded by the organizations involved, the tenants thereof to be vetted not just for their situation but for their skills ...ie. that they be given the opportunity as a group to improve themselves by caring for their homes, their surroundings and each other, the earners to work with the unemployed on a barter system etc etc ....well i could go on and on because it is a subject i have given a lot of thought to in the past .........my hammer for today!......, CG, Morningside

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RE: the day after NAHD

Mark, I was out of the office the last couple of days and missed your musings about the homeless breakfast. I'd be interested in seeing it, if you could re-send please. I was scheduled to go to that as well, but something else came up and couldn't make it. Too bad. Would have liked to touch base with you. We should meet sometime to talk about things, KM, Calgary

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Mark, I truly appreciate receiving your musings and some days we agree and some days we don't. My partner attended the same event you talk about in this edition, and she was telling me about it. Without having been there my reaction mirrored yours. Keep up the good work, DW, Calgary

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Hi Mark , thanks for the blog, is there any way that I can help you with your endeavors to help the homeless. I currently volunteer with the Seed, and I am looking to solve the problem or at least address the situation on the subject of the homeless, DD, Calgary

-17C/1F, Gusta’s fur coat is finally of value; on a calm cold day like this one, the cold just sits there, waiting for a breeze to give it teeth; we’ll walk more later when it is a little warmer

”When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail.” - Abraham Maslow

someone, not sure who . . . I think it was Einstein who said something about defining the problem very thoroughly was often more than half the solution

my rant yesterday flushed out some who agreed, a few detractors too; I had an email from Wayne Stewart, CEO of the Calgary Homeless Foundation . . I replied . . he called . . we got cranky with each other but then we settled into a productive discussion – we are meeting next week to explore some ways to solve some problems; we seem to agree that motivation and skill are not sufficient on their own to solve a very large problem, a systemic one . . but we are talking

I have problems, but they are few; some large, some small – but few

my friends and family have problems, but they are few; my clients and business colleagues have problems, but they are few; everyone has a few problems

I believe most problems are created by people, so I think it is reasonable to believe that people can solve them; I am not suggesting we should alter the rules of physics or cure cancer – but it seems to me that most of the problems we grouse about, read about and have politicians remind us of the magnitude – each of these problems was created by people – whether it be one or a million – so why cannot people, working in some common purpose, solve them?

today I am alone, I am solitary, I am lucky

I have meaningful work to do, people in my life who matter; I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, everyone in my family is well, a weekend of having both my daughters here for a visit is just a few hours away

so very lucky, it is like I have no problems at all

as for being alone, I know I am not; I have friends, family, colleagues, readers & a dog . . what more could I wish for than all of that . . .

lets all grab a hammer; not to drive a nail, but maybe to drive home a point that might contribute to solving something

Mark

338,980

Good Morning Mark, I am a firm believer in the United Way Motto: "For a City To Be Truly Great, It Must Be Great For Everyone". I am also a supporter of this charity as it directly funds programs that help the homeless and all marginalized groups in the City. Even the temporary ones displaced by the flooding a few years ago in Elbow Park!!! I truly think that people like to talk about problems and share numbers because it make them seem caring because they know these figures, however until each of those people begin to share the wealth by "right-sizing" for need instead of want, we will never see and end to this problem. Many Calgarians want to be seen as helping others but not in a way that would actually put them in real contact with these individuals, the emergency housing situation in the old Brick building is a very good example of this. By hosting a breakfast meeting with luxury items such as eggs benedict further demonstrates the large gap between those that need the help and those that claim to "understand" the situation. Serve simple (cheaper) food and then donate the remainder to the programs that will actually be able really help those in need. Thanks Mark! :), SA, Calgary

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Mark, I’m glad that you had the balls to voice your opinion so candidly about the NAHD breakfast event. It seems to me the Affordable housing “issue” is simply a make work project for the bureaucrats supported by politicians who want to make it seem like they are doing something so that the voters can feel like they are doing something – “but for God sakes.. keep them away from me!” (as if poverty might be contagious!) Like giving a street person a toonie from your car on the way home from work. Makes you feel great – keeps him on the street because he probably takes in twice the minimum wage. But how about offering to take him home and give him work? Most, from my experience decline the offer anyway. But I digress- because the real issue is to ensure that there is housing for the poor bastards that work for minimum wage. The issue is simple and complex and follows the same pattern as the “too many cars” issue. Simply provide the Zoning for affordable housing and car-less households and the market will create it. But people with homes don’t want “poverty” in there backyard. Perhaps they would feel uncomfortable with that reflection against there shiny new 7 Series BMW. As always, the human condition is the complicated part. I enjoy your musings. MD, Calgary (former client of Salvation Army, currently Real Estate Developer)

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Hello Mark, I appreciated your invite for lunch yesterday and the support you give to me. Warm Regards, JJ, Calgary

-13C/9F, fresh blanket of snow, Gusta living up to her Icelandic name this morning – or maybe she just thought I should get the lead out and join her chasing fresh rabbit tracks

To LJPS: I believe finding the 'love of my life' is something that WILL happen by way of the processes I have underway in terms of lifestyle, clarity on many issues and that I have opportunities to meet lots of interesting women - so it WILL happen; however, using up that 4th wish is pretty heady stuff; I KNOW from 20 years of working at it that a really smooth golf swing will NEVER be in the cards for me . . so I need help from the Genie

US Thanksgiving commemorates the Pilgrim era where very survival year over year was their primary accomplishment as a huge proportion of those first migrants perished, just as Canadians did in Acadia; when they dug more graves every year than they built huts; happy Thanksgiving (a.k.a. kickoff of your big shopping weekend) to our friends south of the
49th . . hope you have a great turkey weekend

‘In a country well governed, poverty is something to be ashamed of. In a country badly governed, wealth is something to be ashamed of.’ – Confucious

yesterday was National Affordable Housing Day (NAHD) in Canada; the purpose of the breakfast I attended was all about that + I came away (as did everyone) with an embossed level says 'Filling The Gap'; sadly nothing was filled, nothing was in any way level

I suppose they rationalized their stupidity by having secured sponsors who paid for the event; I am not the only one who thought eggs benedict and greasy extras could have been better replaced by a McMuffin and coffee - or better yet, they could have left us standing around the edges while 150 homeless hungry folks could have taken our seats to scarf down our eggs benny; the breakfast presentation focused on affordable housing statistics being recited by bureaucrats, one developer speaking on one project success in another community a scarcely engaged Dino Chiesa, Chairman of CMHC, reading a platitude filled speech to a crowd who replied with polite applause before tucking into their eggs benedict; not one poor person, not one ‘working-poor homeless person’ or anyone living in or waiting for social housing was in the room - it was a feel-good session that left out the most important people who could have contributed real perspective and discussed their needs however I expect none were invited

there is no shame in being helpless or homeless, there is no shame in hard work no matter how meager the wage; yesterday I felt the message was ‘we do-gooders’ solve problems for ‘them’, but I expect ‘them’ would really like to contribute to creating ‘their’ solution; I expect the solutions would cost far less, be more effective and not include a drop of hollandaise sauce

too often I think, those who run government programs, institutions, NGOs and charitable organizations are totally oblivious to the value of bringing the people they seek to help to the table where their voice contributes to the dialogue, contributes to the solution; bureaucrats would not want that however – they there would be no levels, be no eggs benny

no one for whom a solution is needed wants to be outside the room while others without any such need in their own lives discuss solutions . . sadly CMHC and the Calgary Homeless Society don’t get that, maybe they will one of these days

I was embarrassed yesterday, as I am sure many others were, at how our government’s housing agency celebrates itself rather than doing something constructive on such an important issue; I doubt they were clever enough to plan the ‘excess and stupidity’ exhibition as they did in order to motive anyone to action because of that excess and stupidity

but

they did

I'll be keeping my 'level' on my desk as a daily reminder until this issue is SOLVED in my City; does anyone care to join me in creating some solutions?

Mark
339,004

Hi – how was breakfast? I think you had some very valid points regarding the expense of this breakfast and who is eating it while the people who need it are not having it. I was hoping all day the reason behind it all was deep pockets that would open and share. Let me know. I really enjoy your thought provoking commentary. I am still shaken by the Calgary woman I heard on the radio a while back talking about her $40,000 shower. Are we sometimes completely asleep and unaware of others?, DB, Red Deer

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0145: Is this the very BEST of Marks musing or is it the melancholy of the hour? Your writing touched my mind and moved my thoughts away from the challenges of the past 10 hours. Thank-you for reminding me that it is about THEM and not me. Tonight I wish for a Magic Eraser to eradicate pain, I wish for mobility for those who have lost theirs, I wish for a "Smarten Up Pill" for those creating foolish issues out of boredom. For myself -- wisdom to appreciate what I have. Like you I have too much, waste too much. rnRN, Calgary

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Mark, are you up for lunch one of these cold days? No agenda. Just a meal and stimulating conversation (although I am interested in hearing about your property search journey in SK.) , GD, Calgary

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can i ask who added me to your list out of curiosity?, ZM, Calgary

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You would choose a really good golf swing over finding the “love of your life” as the 4th wish? Something to ponder, LJPS, Calgary

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Mark, What is the chance of you posting a picture of Gusta!!, mie, ?

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Mark, you might want to change the wish for a really smooth golf swing to a really accurate one... I suspect the swing is already smooth... not the issue heh heh, JD, Vancouver

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4 wishes: That Mark continues to inspire 'the world' with his well-written messages. That Santa misses no one. That my womb-mate recovers from surgery in January, and is able to celebrate his 50th with us. “That if 'the love of my present life' and I don't...end up together, he'll keep a little place in his heart for me where I'll stay forever.” - winnie the pooh, bebe, Calgary

-13C/9F, overcast and calm, a few snowflakes floating around, cold air has slipped down from the north; eyes watered as we trotted around the lagoon, bbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrr

great lunch with GT yesterday, dinner with SB & lunch today with JJ; great opportunities to eat well and no requirement to cook – feeling decadent; you see, I’ve never missed a meal, met a sandwich I didn’t like or slept out in the cold, never had a shortage of clothes in my closet

if you found a magic bottle with a genie who would grant you four wishes – three for the world and one for yourself, what would they be?

I am probably average for a Canadian, but by world standards I feel colossally fortunate living in a land of such richness, such excess

the volume of our individual waste daily could probably sustain a family in many countries

I have a perverse sounding event to attend this morning

today is National Affordable Housing Day – I have been invited to attend a National Affordable Housing Day Breakfast – which, if I have any understanding at all of the homeless, low income and ‘hard to house’ population, reality for those folks is most likely having nothing close to adequate to eat for breakfast; it will be interesting to see what is in store for us at the Roundup Centre, one of this city’s finest function venues . . . my invite says the breakfast is complementary – seems so inappropriate - I think if they served tap water & dry toast made with old bread it might be more fitting for such an auspicious day and subject matter

if I found a magic bottle with a genie who would grant me four wishes, three for the world and one for myself, I would wish for a meal in every belly on this planet and a safe place for everyone to sleep at night; I would wish for the de-invention of gunpowder and I would wish for a really smooth golf swing

if you found a magic bottle with a genie who would grant you four wishes – three for the world and one for yourself, what would they be?

I must go to a breakfast about people who don’t have breakfast

Mark

339,028

I'm not sure that "Self Help" needs the general classification you ascribe to it. I AM trying to help myself, I AM on a journey... better to live a life examined rather than (gosh, I hope this does not apply to you) make sweeping statements about a genre with which one has little experience. Psycho babble may apply to a listener who simply does not have the knowledge to appreciate what is being said or it could be babble or worse, drivel, sometimes it's hard to tell. So I do read self help and yes, I have helped myself - Isn't that one of the things our Christian God wants from us? Who should I blame? Well, why bother... that would mean that I'm wallowing in the past and not being "present" and living in a Zen-style now. If I wanted to blame someone that would mean that I'm holding on to anger and hostility rather than forgiving and forgetting and making plans for a better future (while, of course, holding on to my "present" consciousness). So, yes read your self help book or Bible or whatever thing it is that takes you further in the direction of improvement and goodness. Honor yourself for trying... oops, that could mean helping yourself. ch, chimacum

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In my experience using the term new agey may be an invitation to express yourself spiritually in any manner other than espousing a belief in one God other than oneself. Stating that you are a spiritual person may be common ground, if in fact you are. In my experience all belief systems other than agnostic, Christian, Muslim and Jewish are presumed to be vaguely, and to varying degrees, consistent with new agey. Since some new age practices include rituals, it might not be respectful to disdain rituals. New age, secular humanism. agnosticism, atheism and religions are all belief systems and people who react with disdain to any belief system can unexpectedly and deeply offend listeners who are not operating in thick skin mode at the time. If in doubt, why go there. I find it interesting to hear how people define new age, there are various practices and I am still learning. I also find it interesting that my generation, having adapted to unnamed secular humanism in the classroom, now has so many people attracted to new age. I believe (!) that having a belief system is a part of the human condition and that is one reason why we need freedom of belief in Charters of Rights, LHE, Calgary

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People change, life goes on, enjoy the ride/journey, knowledge/books only help you articulate what you already know. You missed my birthday, I had a blast! Nov. 20. Forgot to mention. thanks for pushing me out of the airplane WITH a parachute that works. Perfect metaphor for what's gone on. I promise not to send too many emails to musings lest you feel pursued vs amused. Who knows maybe my own blog would quench my own thirst to communicate, DR, Calgary

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oh mark.......well said!.........it's so simple really,........ all u have to do is get to know yourself, ............accept yourself,........... trust yourself .............find your self worth,.........know your strengths, work on your weaknesses, ............take the consequences of your own actions..........feel the fear..........and go for it anyhow.........mine is a gentler one then yours, but i am so glad u are enjoying your ride too!......, CG, Morningside

-2C/29F, bright & breezy, Gusta frenzied at high speed this morning, the only thing holding down her speed is incessantly wagging the monster tail – she’s back in fine form

as I eat my raspberry smothered granola this morning I wonder . . . about people who question where they are going, what they are doing with their lives & what the outcomes might be – since I’ve connected with more than a few of ‘that type’ lately

the self-help industry of books, tapes & new-age thinking (I would just love to meet one person who describes themselves as new-age-y could define it) industry, abetted by Dr. Phil fans and thrust into orbit by psycho-babble leaves so many people in ‘finding love, finding love again’ or ‘finding purpose’ mode while many more still seem to be struggling to find ‘the couch’ be it a place for help or a place to vegetate; the media show us how, pop culture shows us how, our friends show us how – but is anyone learning anything?

someone lamented to me the reason she split with her best friend’s brother after 1 date followed by a year of living together was because he did not love himself and because he was a ‘bad boy’ rather than admit to a year long romp as opposed to blaming the other guy for being himself

women are not the only ones who need a scolding here; men are just as quick to blame the emotional state of a woman for a fizzled failed start than to accept responsibility for their own choices

choices are choices, some work – some don’t; the insurance industry has learned the term no-fault, why can’t men and women?

blame the other guy seems to be a very big thing in our society these days; thanks to the aforementioned sappy self help world, we have the vocabulary – so it makes it easy to blame someone, throwing out an ill qualified analysis of someone else’s shortcomings

in football they call that piling on

rather than wondering where we are going, is it not more important to be going somewhere?
rather than wondering what we are doing or questioning its value, is it not better to be doing?
rather than wondering about the destination, is it not better to be enjoying the trip?

WB, computer wiz & old friend was over last night to help me get some things updated on my computer & related geekdom stuff . . nice to see you; it has been too long!

to SB . . happy birthday!

must dash now, I have things to do before going where I am going, not sure the destination but the trip is such a gas . . . in large part due to the many ‘musers’ in my life

Mark
339,052

What ever happened to your Musings??? I became busy one day and all of a sudden they were gone! If you are still sending them out please add my e-mail back on the list. Thanks, SA, Calgary

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Haven't hear from you in a long time. Are you still doing the musings? I used to get them and don't now, LH, Calgary

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the Sonora indian's version of a "warrior" is vastly different from what most people think. Part of my journey to heal mind body and spirit after a significant health crisis 25 years ago was to distract myself by reading Carlos Castenada. The teachings of Don Juan, the Yaqui way of Knowledge. That was" my" book. If you are a sonoran indian, there's not much to do possibly, than to sit around a campfire and express your dreams with people. I had nothing better to do but without the peyote, especially on many Sunday mornings alone and a lot of dreams. The experience of facing one's possible death and the book really did skew the decisions I made to affect the rest of my life and quite possibly a "warrior". Read the book. It is at the very least a vacation in an armchair, DR, Calgary

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Paralysis by analysis…I love that! May I use it? SF, Calgary

-2C/29F, fresh, clear & warming, Gusta friskier than appropriate, a spring day at the wrong time of year!

LM from White Rock is 50-something today, more power to ya!

‘To achieve the mood of a warrior is not a simple matter. It is a revolution. To regard the lion and the water rats and our fellow men as equals is a magnificent act of a warrior’s spirit. It takes power to do that.’ – Carlos Castenada

what do we do with our power?

especially on Monday morning!

what makes a Monday morning mood, how much power is in it?

are we warriors, water rats or falling flat?

flat tires need to be pumped up; sometimes flattened warriors need a blast of fresh air pumped in through the appropriate rear orifice

or maybe just a gentle boot applied in the same area

Monday starts set tone for the whole week; I imagine the energy, positive or negative, that I can convey when I walk into a room, or answer a call

saying ‘not bad’ to someone who asks how we are sends a message of under-enthused

saying ‘good morning, I’m fantastic’ only works if you really are, which most Monday morning’s we are not

the meaning of Monday mornings has not changed, but my process has shifted

as a kid it was wash day at our house which involved hauling frozen sheets in off the line (they were twice my size, so windy days were challenging) only to be fed overcooked liver and onions which made me forever skeptical about the rewards or volunteer work!

through most of my working life it has been ‘clean up last week’s leftovers, deal with the Monday morning ‘must-do’s’, hopefully able to launch into new work by 2ish in the afternoon; hardly an early morning mood lifter

in recent years, late Sunday night sessions doing my newsletter has morphed into doing the large portion of it before 9PM – then sleeping, then waking at 1:30ishAM, make a pot of the blackest caffeine I can manage, finish my newsletter just in time to publish around 5:30AM; since I am up having done ½ a day’s work I feel like launching into a few diversions before the pile of things to do today

in summer I often find 18 holes can easily help my afternoon along if I hustle all morning, in winter I vacillate between a slow paced day, a fast paced morning with an afternoon massage chaser, a slow and domestic morning followed by a sleepy lazy errand filled afternoon

whatever I do between Sunday and Tuesday usually sets my tone for the kind of Monday I am determined to have

I am determined

I am energized

I have NOT experienced a power failure today

are the lights on where you are?
if they are, and if you are not moving faster than a speeding bullet able to leap tall buildings with a single bound, then I would check your battery posts, break out the voltmeter and take your ‘amperage’

when we re-boot a computer, they call it powering up

good metaphor

if low on power, click restart

Mark

339,100

Just touching base. Mom is in the hospital and has been for the past few days. My already crazy life accelerated nearly out of control. I have discovered I am a truly messy person. No wonder Mom thinks she picks up after me…. She does. I should have taken a peek into your office to see if you are disorderly with books and papers. I have learned that what I do with paper and books is considered a behavior by some…. Not in the academic world but in the “institutional” world. as for playing with coyotes…. Not so sure pretty golden girls should be doing that, OK maybe playing but no long term stuff. The “good girl” and “bad boy” thing came to mind when I read the blog, DB, Red Deer

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hi mark....sunday's do that to u don't they ?....make u wonder if u doing it right? ..whether u should be doing something different?...whether what u are looking for is out there?......and then monday comes and u just get back onto the merry go round! ........and hope that maybe this will be the week ........for more than just that perfect sentence!......, CG, Morningside

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I think you may be suffering from paralysis by analysis... just let it happen, regrets of mistakes made are better than regrets of opportunities not pursued. Sunday mornings alone should never happen, EJ, DeWinton

-1C/30F, overcast, bands of light on east and west horizon holds up the clouds; Gusta romped off-leash for a while around the lagoon while I followed - I had no idea what to do when Gusta took off across a field after that coyote, male I presume, as they took turns chasing each other for a few minutes, then Gusta came roaring back tail-a-waggin’ so that seems to have gone well

SB was over for dinner last night; my chicken breasts, stuffed with roasted red peppers (I roasted my own for a change) and bocconcini cheese were yummy as was my guest’s contribution - she brought dessert, something sweet with fruit in it

animals - Gusta anyway, seem to be able to have an impromptu meeting or playtime with anyone who smells new or wants to run around a while; I wonder if we human critters so different?

my purpose in life must be more than this, more than playing on Saturday night, more than being a friend, an ear, a shoulder; the women I am drawn toward, appear so often complicated by unavailability or inappropriateness - or is it me, keeping myself unavailable?

lately I've been giving this some thought in my dating/mating efforts; something I am interested in changing; I enjoy the unexpected, unplanned, unprepared moments - they always get my adrenalin pumping; the unnerving, the impossible, the improbable, the untenable, but will that lead me where I want to go?

I find myself so often avoiding the ones where real possibilities, real risks and real fire might be kindled; maybe like Gusta and the coyote – each thrilled by the chasing but unable to commit to more than that - the impossible situation neither impossible or a situation; it is a term I use to describe my reluctance to advance, to stay in, to continue, to risk

my purpose in life is something I am clear on, but is there life in my purpose such that I give as good as I take, give us much as others do?

some days, especially Sunday mornings alone, I wonder about that

Mark

339,100

Please (re)subscribe me to your musings. Thank you, SS, Calgary

2C/36F, sunny; our walk back from the car dealer was long, uphill into strong Chinook winds interrupted only by a spectacular mountain view, each one blanketed white reflects morning sun; my thighs are burning, my calves rock hard so it must have been good for me . . or maybe I should have stretched first?

PI in Bermuda has a birthday today – congrats!

to those on our VERY wet west coast, I wish you well as you buy or boil water, I wish you sunshine relief from the deluge; I wish you patience while nature has its way with you

patience, that thing I lack; I learn to wait when waiting is required but I hate it

each year life teaches me a little more of that, but patience must be something in the DNA package because I seem to be missing that strain

each day I try to be patient; the work-guy in me wants it in a rush, the writer-guy wants to produce something marvellous in minutes, frustrated by idle keys - happiest when the keys cannot keep up with my thoughts; patience must be for others

time to get it write

get it just write

‘Writing is a lot easier if you have something to say.’ - Sholem Asch

‘It's tougher than Himalayan yak jerky in January. But, as any creative person will tell you, there are days when there's absolutely nothing sweeter than creating something from nothing.’ - Richard Krzemien

‘I was working on the proof of one of my poems all the morning, and took out a comma. In the afternoon I put it back again. ‘ - Oscar Wilde

one of these days a collision of perfection & patience will no longer be illusive like a summer evening firebug – the thing you know exists but you never see & when, at long last, you see it then capturing it is futile

the perfect sentence is my goal

I don’t need the perfect paragraph, the perfect chapter or the perfect book – I will easily settle for something much smaller

one of these days I know I will write the perfect sentence

but it eludes me, squirming away like a slippery bar of soap

one of these days I will just know it

more stream, more consciousness; not likely I will have more patience, but maybe a little would be good

ah, maybe here it comes . . .

it erupts, spillage on special pages - pages of someone's mind, so they choose to soak up a little of me for storage in a brain compartment, like soaking up gravy with a roll not to chew, but to swallow whole

no . . good perhaps, but not even close to great

I will try again tomorrow

and again

and again

Mark

339,124

Hello Mark, I had not a bad week and am looking forward to making next week better. Therefore, having coffee with you is a necessary ingredient to make that come true. Enjoyed the weeks musings and look to more to come from our face to face. Warm regards, JJ, Calgary

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Hello Mark, Much to my dismay I have been issued a black berry and now receive all my emails on it. In an attempt to reduce my daily email intake please remove me from your distribution list. Regards, DS, Calgary

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Hey Mark, I’m one of the lucky ones, I got your musings everyday! Would love to see you before you leave for Maui. DR, Calgary

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I am leaving Canada for a protracted holiday, and ask that you unsubscribe me until I return. I shall advise when I have returned, as I enjoy the musings when I can find time, GLF, Calgary

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Mark, I'm glad you're tick tocking... we're drowning, glub, glub...water water everywhere and not a drop [for 2 million] to drink... wish I'd invested in the bottled water company...yours... with an umbrella and duck boots... much more rain to come I'm afraid...upside is it makes for lots of work on behalf of clients of all kinds from retail to school districts... Always used to laugh when I lived in Toronto for two years (1988-90) that all we saw of BC news on national TV newscasts were wacky weather and wacky politics. Still holds true 15 years later. Cheers, JD, Vancouver

-2C/29F, sunny & calm; a walk in the woods this morning for the first time in a week required Gusta to visit to every spot that ever had a smell – visiting every critter without actually seeing them; we saw the primped Scottie & its nose in the air owner who seemed quite miffed the my dog wanted to sniff her dog – the dogs seemed quite agreeable – oh well, not everyone knows how to smile & say good morning

I had several emails wondering where their musings were over the past few days – it seems that my list-service provider had a glitch . . to catch up, go to the blogs http://markismusing.blogspot.com & http://markismusing.blog-city.com

I am so glad readers anticipate receiving a daily musing broadcast, that they call or write when they don’t receive it, often accompanied by an ‘are you OK?’ in anticipation that something might be wrong or some mishap might have occurred to me . . nice that people show concern

ever get worked up about something when someone does not do what they said they would do, or respond when they said they would, or they turn the tables on us?

I know I don’t react well to this

I do better now than I used to, but it rankles almost every time

recent experiences are teaching me to relax more, to anticipate less

anticipation seems to be my little demon

I have an expectation; not so much that things have to be ‘my way’ but it really helps when the results are somewhat close to what I anticipated the result might be?

yes, I know, my ability to control 1 sweet thing is zero, but 55 yrs. of learning cannot be reversed overnight – or maybe it can – but I wrestle with this one

when things don’t go my way – or go your way – so often it is not that the result was good, bad or problematic – just that it was different than our expectation

I’ve been learning on this one ; it seems I get less rattled when things go in a different direction than I anticipated (NOT ‘going with the flow’) as I learn so often it has nothing to do with me or anything I have done

anticipation is, for many, tied to the expectation of an experience; when the experience takes a different turn for better or worse, do we get twisted because of the experience or because the anticipated result is different than our expectation?

2 months from today I will be winging to Maui; weather there today - mostly sunny in the morning, then partly cloudy with isolated showers in the afternoon. Highs 79 to 84. Northeast winds around 10 mph. Chance of rain 20%

I am anticipating - Maui countdown continues - tic toc

Mark

339,148

Same old-same old .. interesting. I did something different than I've ever done before. Today, I woke up as usual, plodded to my truck and, behold, the left front tire was 85% flat ... bizarre, but ok. I drove gingerly to the gas station where I plunked in my .75 and inflated the tire only to hear the hissing of a cobra as a 5 inch hack spewed air out of the sidewall of the tire. I ran into the store and purchased 'tire flat' .. some gummy crap that goes into the tire and temporarily (or permanently) seals the hole ... so, after struggling with this contraption and spewing white toxic goop everywhere, the tire inflated and appeared to hold air... perfect. My 21 mile journey down the freeway to my office would be trouble free. And it was. Until I backed in my truck into my assigned parking stall and notice a very sluggish stearing wheel .. sigh. The inevitable, the tire was flat yet again. With about 41k miles on the treads, it was time to make the investment into new skins for these 20" rims... EGAD !! $230+ each. And, I am contemplating replacing this beast with a new car in the next while. So this is where the 'same-old-sameold' doesn't apply. Historically, or traditionally, all four tires would be replaced even if just one tire was damaged beyond repair. But in this case, I shopped used tire shops until I found one with one tire of the exact brand with approximately the same milleage... I had the tire replaced for under $56 and no one will know that this tire is a step-tire of the other three. Not same-old at all. The real question is 'why' did I do something I've never done before .. it's not the money, heck I've spent that much on tires for my play car sitting my garage.. so that's not it. Definitely, a mind meld that I must make with myself soon to discover what it is that change my same-old habit. I ponder ..., SD, ?

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I like to think that when something is not working for us we can decide in a mature way over time to change it. What hasn't worked for most people is quick changes based on unproven assumptions, choices made on the basis of lies from institutions, or choices made just for change's sake. Comforting as the same old is, I ask myself - how important is it to pass on to the next generation, and if it hasn't worked for my generation, then why hang on to it. A bit of honesty about what didn't work is also useful, LHE, Calgary

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Hi I enjoy your writing each day , what has happened have not received any since tues…Miss you CR Calgary

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I'm not sure whether it's just semantics: nevertheless, I'll respond to "same old, same old". How old? Old to whom? Do we both understand "same"? No one really says. What's old to some minds might be a revelation to others. Some responding to a trite question with "same old, same old" might be waiting for a more interesting question before giving a more interesting answer. Others are probably stuck in a rut and being honest, a few might be nervous, one or two are probably shy and, very frankly, at least one person who responds "same old, same old", expected more personal interest in the first place from the person asking the question. Only those of us, with lifethanking happy laughter in our bellies and lifethinking situations in our souls understand the your erudite query of "same old, same old". Sending you some pictures separately. The more things remain the same, the more they change with the blossoming of appreciation for "same old, same old". Some of you grow on branding new adventures and some of us thrive on building on the "same old, same old". You said, "most people we scratch very deeply are people seeking to change; to move from this to that, from him to him, from her to her, from where they’ve been unhappy to some other place where happiness reigns supreme" I believe that when you make a lasting scratch, someone related big time to some little thing you did or said, often something you least expected. Though we know ourselves, some of our parts are sometimes different and endearing to others. The "seeking to change; to move from this to that, from him to him, from her to her, from where they've been unhappy to some other place" is an animal lashing out. It is not part of the process for us "same old, same old" types, VJP, DeWinton

+1C/36F, sunshine & icy walks but little snow remains from Chinook winds blowing last night; Gusta’s attempts to skate on the lagoon make for interesting pratfalls

our après Toastmasters gathering last night was a little laugh fest mingled with some serious discussion, a smaller group than usual - maybe size makes a difference

the disparity of this group of friends got me thinking about how we become different & how much the same we are notwithstanding our efforts to demonstrate otherwise

ants, fish, giraffes & rodents do not lay awake at night wondering how they can change, how they can out-hustle their cousins for the juiciest foods tomorrow or the juiciest mate tomorrow night; so why do we human critters?

is it just brain size or something more - whatever it is, can we change it at all?

what distinguishes you from me or me from the next guy?

forget that we come in all shapes & sizes, live in homes of wide variety – but what distinguishes us inside?

we were all created the same way, so I should think the similarities we have would then be of flesh, blood, brain, chromosomes, education + the Canada food guide; we all were taught the basics of life across the breakfast table, took the same 12 grades of curriculum, ate the same suggery breakfast cereals, were brainwashed by children’s television & if you were boy musketeer people, you fell in love with Annette Funicello

lab rats moving from birth to death in pretty clothes – what if that’s it?

sure, I’m joking, but how many of our differences are truly superficial ones with the significance of different coloured shirts; why do we define ourselves with designer labels, the cars we drive, the clubs we join?

52% of people divorce from their first marriage, 48% don’t – does that make us different or do we all deal with the same issues, same problems with marginally different economic solutions?

Ernest Hemingway said ‘Every man's life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one man from another.’

Hemingway had a point, had a bizarre life, distinguished himself in ways most of us would never aspire to; he had a bizarre childhood ( but then, didn't we all?), he was as macho a man as the 20th century produced, he took his own life but only after having risked it many times with behaviour that put him in harms way many times

was he different from you, from me?

if we all lived the life we imagine instead of the one we do, what would that result look like?

would we be more the same in real terms, more different or negligibly different from the people we see in the mirror today?

I wonder, as I strive to live more of the life I want than the one I am led by conformist society to think I should, which is different & more importantly, does it matter?

while distinguishing ourselves from the norm in how we exit mattered to Hemingway, I am far more interested in the long wandering MY PATH to get there

let go, let the universe

let go & let the universe was a speech them KK used last night at Toastmasters – the notion of trusting that things will take us in magical directions if we just stop trying to control things, to control our path

I am not sure I agree that gets us to a better place; certainly it changes the adventures we might have a long the way, but does it really change us?

most people we scratch very deeply are people seeking to change; to move from this to that, from him to him, from her to her, from where they’ve been unhappy to some other place where happiness reigns supreme

if we are all trying to change in some way, does that not add to the list of reasons we are the same

which makes me wonder why we need change

same old - same old works for so many people

maybe I’ll try the same old-same old method in another life; not that I believe in reincarnation but some people do & who knows, they might be right

Mark

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Mark .... as a transplanted Canuck in the land of Red (Texas), there is and never will be another color ... to most, there is only one train of thought (neanderthal in nature)...it is only red and the beliefs of the red are tatooed to their red loving butts.... as a resident alien, I listen to how bad everyone in the world is if you're not from here... and heaven forbid if you arrived illegally...that's why the NRA is still alive and thriving. To make anyone believe something that they cannot, won't even try, will never do, when hell freezes over, is just never going to happen. Let them say what they want and show their true ignorance of the reality of the real world and let them keep collecting the things that make them happy. At the end of the day, when judgement day comes, they can hide behind all the red they want, but everyone will be judged on contributions in their lifetimes, not what they took from everyone in their lifetimes. This probably makes little sense to you or anyone else reading this, but I've been in Texas now almost 10 years, through two different administrations and can tell you that blue is the way of the future. Red is for what is wrapped around their necks where the shirt collars rub .. commonly known as rednecks. Not all of us down here see only red, but the perception is, if you're not red, you're dead. I read with great despair the attacks you took and can only summize that these comments are from those who have never experienced anything useful in their lives, suffered any losses, and are what I define as arm chair patriots. Instead of tv remotes and bud lights, let's see any of them, even just one, trade in that remote for a gun and go fight for what they claim is their right....then when they lose that fight or lose someone close during that fight, go home to a reception that defines them as losers instead of heroes ... then let's hear their commentary on life, those who fought, died and we tried to remember once a year .. and I hope those people are forgotten almost as fast as they blink .. because that's all they are worth.. nothing more than a blink. Congrats on your continued columns. I'm a fan... and can't wait until my journey brings me back to shoveling snow instead of shoveling turd in this land of red. ? , Texas

-1C/30F, light overcast, fresh like a spring morning walk – if it were only spring – snow is soft, ice is hard, navigation is challenging but it must still be winter because Gusta pulls like a sled dog

I would like to be that clear about it, but doubt creeps in

doubt creeps in when theoretical goes out the window, the unexpected arrives & someone says ‘what do you think?’ or, on occasion, someone says or does something so ridiculous they NEED to be told what I think!

I’ve been wondering about what sets mood for the day?

is it breakfast, how much fun or sleep I had or did not have last night; is it adrenalin euphoria from closing a deal (or the lack of it when I don’t) ?

what is it that determines my zeal-level du jour?

is it having a clear sense of my values, knowing my needs, wants & desires deeply enough that I can read situations well, make decisions, make the better choices because each opportunity is measured against something deep within me?

aside from a little left-over residual angst from the day before that sometimes creeps in, I think it starts early; it starts when I get up & start my morning routine; it does not seem to matter whether I am up at 4AM or 7 – the bleary eyed first hour of routine & dog walking is more mood setting than mood altering

it is impossible to push out of my brain the schedule, workload & demands on time for the day which are already determined – they come from a schedule, from the spray of paper across my table that I prioritized the night before

first thing in the morning I have no idea of the calls, emails, faxes & brainwaves that will alter my entire day before 9:30 – but my mood is clear

I am focused/intense/driven . . or relaxed/open/flexible; OK, so there are some of you who’ve not seen (or read) of me in either state – sometimes I am between those mindsets, but is that really a description of mood?

is this shifting a mood swing, or just shifting?

on days when I am pushed, rushed, late or overloaded I start my day with an edge I have a tough time shaking the ‘focused/intense/driven’ throughout the day, wishing for respite but not usually finding it + not sleeping well to boot

conversely, some days I walk around like there is a cushy cloud under my feet (no, this is not a Dr. Scholl commercial) – lighter on my feet for no physical reason (note to self ..GO to the gym today), I am ‘relaxed/open/flexible’ for the most part but unpredictable fluctuations of the day ahead may alter it

this morning I have a day without scheduled meetings or ‘must do’ errands; just much work on my plate without too much rating urgent treatment status; I cannot play hooky, but I can pace myself a little, spend time on some things that have been set aside a little of late

mood is a funny thing – not something I can control, but certainly something that responds to influence

on a day like today – well rested, well slept . . . well, running late . . . I am not bothered; the calls will come, the fax machine will burp & e-mail in box will bring its share of surprises

which ‘mood’ day is my most productive personally & professionally?

which is the day I should just turn off the world & drive to Banff, which is the day I should make the bold calls, float the brandspankin’ BHAG (big hairy audacious goal) ?

which day makes my world better?

whatever it is, it starts early

not always lasting long, but it starts early

Mark

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Hi Mark, Quite some ago, you circulated the following quote, which I taped to mydesk at work: "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." - Martin Luther King Jr. Keep up the good work, as your life does not seem to be ending soon, AK, Calgary

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Mark: Keep up the comments....I don't always agree but you put forward an opinion that makes us all think. ....and to some degree discussion of anything always makes for a better solution, and optimistically a better city/world. You have made a significant contribution to my every day life here in Calgary as a newcomer to the City. Unless I am mistaken we just celebrated Remembrance Day...and freedom of speech was central to all of the great sacrifices that we have made as a nation, and as families. I also have a chocolate Lab - "Labby" and walk a few times a week in Fish Creek, and hope some day to meet you and Gusta...another great contribution to quality of life in the big city. When I can't get out due to work or other commitments it is great to be there in cyberspace, RDM – Calgary

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I do not know why either and I wonder why the art of communication, critical thinking and resolving conflicts was/is not a mandatory part of school curriculum, at least somewhere before finishing high school. With all the divorces, business problems, and daily miscommunication one would think that we could save everyone a pile of grief not to mention money if we were schooled in the art of communicating. Then again, educated people are some of the worst. Go figure. Incidentally, fruit is good for the digestion moving all the crap out of the system. Just a thought (and amusement), PL, Calgary

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hi mark........interesting and thought provoking musings and responses last week, ...............do u talk the same as u write?.......if so i think i could listen to u for hours!............i really appreciate the weather comments too, winter in alberta continues to intrigue me and the best part of my day is when i manage to get out there, walking, exploring, discovering,........ yesterday i shoveled snow for three hours and it looks like i am going to be out there again today!...........sometimes wish i could write down all the things i think, feel, sense when i read what u have to say .......but herewith my tuppence worth for this week .......

another day: ........it would be boring if everyone agreed with u mark, and you probably wouldn't still be musing, .........u also have to remember that there are just some people that have nothing better to do with their time then attack and pull apart, the chances are that there is something missing in their lives,........so let them vent, they don't pay your rent!

do like henry:......fog, to me, is cold and damp and menacing, not a good place to be .....i much prefer mist, that lifts quicker and makes me think of rainbows and waterfalls, walking on the beach, the sun shining through

seeing through it : ....how often are things truly as they seem?....but how do u know before u set out? .......... guess u just have to work your way through that dam fog or else turn around and take another direction, and yes if u are lucky and keeping an eye open, maybe find something else truly amazing in the process

handling it : .........how wonderful that your friend could turn to u in the way she knew u would relate to best, u were there for in a way she knew u would be ........yes, women are the nurturers, but men too, have the strength and the warmth that we can't do without

show me a winner : ........there have been bullies and cowards and battles and wars since the beginning of time,.............as woman is the nurturer, so is man the hunter, always has been and always will be, ..........a few heroes and lots of poppies........but no mark, there are no winners

it must be cold : .........and miserable and dark and ugly and senseless ..........and for what?....man's greed ...........lust for power?.........and so we remember, by taking a holiday, sleeping in late, catching up at the office?

freedom to be uncertain : .........well, nothing is cast in stone is it?...........and we can be certain that tomorrow a new day will dawn!

our solution : .........keep doing what u are doing mark, it's not going to change the world, but at least u are making us think about it all
CG, Morningside

-9C/15F, crispy clear fresh, chilly air feels good in the lungs

in recent days I’ve been nicked by the odd piece of flying fruit, the odd piece of mud & a general dousing of bile

speaking out, throwing barbs – some aimed straight, some just tossed for tossing sake – that’s how some folks play it

I wonder how that feels?

sitting silently on the sidelines of life is how some folks like to play it - watching the world go by, having a point of view, but never expressing it or defending it

I don't mean by the mindless fruit tossers or by the uninvolved; I mean the articulate, the schooled & I mean the unschooled plainspoken too, the man on the street or the one down the alley

everyone has a point of view; I don't like it so much when it is contrary to my own - especially when mine might be due for an overhaul - but I like it anyway, at least in principle

but why is it that some folks take shots just to show they are mean spirited & loud?

if we live in a free country, is it not a good thing to speak your mind & to respect your neighbour for speaking his or hers?

why then, must stating a contrary point of view have to be preceded by an attack in some form?

why can’t someone just say . . ‘hey, I disagree with you . . here is my point of view’ rather than lashing out with venom at someone who stated their views

I like this country Canada; we are such a mix of crazy folks – each so different than each other it would be so improbable that we could ever get people so lined up on opposite sides of a single issue that we could effectively battle each other, except of course that ‘little issue’ of Canada + Quebec vis-à-vis Canada including Quebec

our solution to national unity has always been Grey Cup, but maybe its time we relied on more than a football game

maybe its time we started listening to each other more & throwing less fruit

Mark

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Hi Mark, Just a quick word... to encourage you with respect to your musings... which I enjoy... From some of the comments in your musings, I take it that not all of the feedback you receive is positive... but that's simply the law of averages... not everybody is going to like what you say... From writing a newsletter, I have some idea of the time commitment that it takes to regularly put something out in writing... and I respect your willingness to put in the time... Attached is a poem which I use as my guidepost... a one-week compartment seems about right (at least for me) in terms of planning... not day-to-day short... but not way-off-in-the-future long either... Keep up the good work with your musings... Let me know if you plan on being at the Real Estate Forum at the end of the month... perhaps we can grab a coffee... Regards, MG, Cornwall, Ontario

Monday Nov. 13, 2006 – freedom to be uncertain

-1C/31F, breezy, overcast & snow is softer, traffic hum is light, lots of people taking a holiday in lieu of Remembrance Day today; Gusta in fine form, appetite & running speed after quite a few days of sluggish PMS (or whatever its called in dog language); it feels more like a spring day than an early winter one . . .

lunch & laughs with my dad yesterday; my day is light on meetings, heaving on work – like any regular Sunday or holiday Monday; if you are taking a holiday today, have a good one; if you are not, please call me tomorrow!

‘The quest for certainty blocks the search for meaning. Uncertainty is the very condition to impel man to unfold his powers.’ – Erich Fromm

babies enjoy uncertainty, toddlers know nothing else, adolescence thrives on it – but as we get older, the need for certainty in relationships, cash flow, travel plans, lifestyle, career paths or something as simple as ‘how you spend your Sunday evening’ can be big issues for some people

my theory is that the volume of uncertainty in our lives is just too much sometime; made easier by clinging to the familiar without regard to its value

life is uncertain, it comes without guarantees in any form

maybe we expect too much, disappoint too easily, go with the flow too much

the certainty that any of us will be around tomorrow is an actuarial table probability, not a fact

if the fact is that nothing is certain, why not let loose . . or at least let yourself get a little looser every day; every day a small step – this will eventually lead somewhere . . . when you get there, send me a postcard

get away, if only in your mind for a moment; get away, if only for today; get away from that which holds you, get away toward what you want

getting away sets you free

then, you realize, you were always free all the time, having always had the freedom to be uncertain

the next unusual opportunity that comes along has the power to change your entire life, or maybe just your afternoon

the risk you take is not one or the other, but that you choose neither

odds are in your favour that you will not perish for having tried

will you be truly living if you do not?

Mark

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I just read your Nov 11 musing. You put it so well and I so much agree. How do we articulate the place where prejudice, disagreement, emotional involvement and free speech cross over into hate? Also WF - congrats on putting it so well. A lot could be accomplished if only those who deal with bullies of any place and age would respond with communication and understanding, rather than responding with ignoring the bully or naively blaming the victim. LHE, Calgary

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Hi Mark, I applaud your efforts to express your views and discuss interesting and challenging topics. Unfortunately I've noticed recently that your column is very critical of others, especially those close to you and individuals who write back to you (ie the individual who wrote about the good news story involving a lending program in a developing country). We may not always agree with people but we can still respect their views and appreciate their input--plus a positive comment or two never hurt anyone. Must the whole column be critical? There is some good in the world no? Also, I was surprised to see that someone who talks of the need for more peace and kindness in our crazy world (and an animal lover as well) could describe his veal dinner as yummy-I think if you could see what happens to those animals you would likely never touch the stuff again, MR, Calgary

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So we see that someone who has lost someone or something to war is helped by the belief that the sacrifice of their love was purposeful, that their loss and suffering were for a greater good. I can understand that and forgive the mistake. You have called that mistake into question and so the bristles go up, words are thrown like knives; the logic is that because I hurt I have the right to hurt others. Wounds like that won't heal because fear and hatred and loss fester beneath. The reality that war does not have to continue is denied because peace exists through the agency of each individual whether a world leader or blog writer. Blog on. Peace. ch, Chimacum