Musing

Mark: Thank you for your kind words. When I think of old friends the obvious comes to mind, long term friends. You are one of my best newest friends and while we haven’t known each other literally for years, the connection is sometimes stronger and certainly more honest. Merci old friend., DL, Calgary

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Sandra here in Idaho. Thanks Mark for remarks on old friends. I lost of of my oldest dearest friends a couple of months ago, after her long battle with cancer. Leslie and her husband Bill were HS sweethearts, and were together over 40 years. Together, with hard work after their log home burned to the ground, they built their new dream, a turn of the century reproduction home, gardens and pond, and B&B. Always stylish with clothes, hair, makeup, she welcomed you into her life and home like you were her best guest. The cancer returned many times over years. She laughed about being bald and fat from the chemo and radiation, and let me touch and kiss her hairless head. Her five children, many grand children and husband gathered around her bedside as she passed on, and in the last photo she smiled peacefully. I learned volumes about what matters most: Family, friends, laughter, love, forgiveness, acts of generosity, creating beauty in our environment as a reflection of the Creator Spirit. I thought I was her best friend, but at her funeral, apparently so did hundreds of other's! All my oldest friends remind me of my best days, my worst days, because they've been there with me long enough to really know. No fooling them...they read me like an open book, and I'm not ashamed to have them turn some ragged pages of well worn parts of the story, SW, Coeur d'Alene

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Hi – I laughed this morning at your birthday greeting to DL … I remember being told I was over the hill at 22. I was no longer attractive to men but gratefully one fellow overhearing that said that No you are like well ripened peach. Being 22 I went through a number of feelings regarding all of the discussion going on around me and was left wondering whether or not the peach comment was flattering. Now I am so grateful to finally have reached a deep sense of contentment about who I am and what I look like. Aging is wonderful for maturation. Cheers, DB, Red Deer

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Hi Mark; Not sure what happened to our connection today; however -- it was nice 'catching up'. Take care...I hope your little-piece-of-paradise (in Sask.) works out for you. (gee, this could mean two entirely different things), bebe, Calgary

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Hey Mark; Thanks for lunch today... Now I remember why I like you so much. Should you need a reference from on sue to another (sort of a "counter-sue), call. Good luck, keep in touch, yadda yadda., Sue (number 5), SB, Calgary

8C/46F, chilly from rain overnight, or was it just sprinklers going off @ 1 & 3 AM? Gusta romps the tall grass pulling hard toward a scent, never finding the critter who owned it

‘To think, when one is no longer young, when one is not yet old, that one is no longer young, that one is not yet old, that is perhaps something.’ – Samuel Beckett

the best music, I am told, is played on very old violins, so does that mean getting older is best?

some old friends are people - but few old friends are as close as my cook’s knife, my favorite sweatshirt, my 7 iron, my dog & a favorite old tie; what is this like, to have a well aged old friend?

some old friends are people - ones who came into my life a long time ago who stayed; others have come & gone & come back again – old friends do that sometimes; old friends come in all kinds, shapes & sizes, genders, ages & some are not so old either; someone I can talk to after a couple of years as if only 5 minutes had passed since our last connection - that’s one of the best kind - they bring us comfort - like a cozy sweater, like a comfortable chair

a few old friends are that close; some I talk to nearly every day, some hardly ever; old friends need not be put on a pedestal, put away or put up or down; old friends can be the best warm blanket on a cold day, the best firm handshake, the best soft touch to lift a chin when it is down

old friends need not be old, but they need to be around a while - new friends conversely have few clues about us (or we them) as we lack experience, understanding, context or history with them; rarely does a new friend reveal all, tell all or offer a way to know all; we need to ferret it out sometimes – but then I have to wonder, if it is that difficult to get out, maybe it is better to pass by, to move on!

good friends – new or old – let it flow effortlessly, let it flow with joy or rage, bliss or revenge – but they let it flow; old friends have history with us, we’ve known some joy & some grit

old friends uttering a word or phrase convey huge volumes of meaning while new friends can talk at great length & convey little – I strain sometimes to get enough from someone before just giving up because it is too hard; I find some people won’t let me get close & it makes me wonder if anyone ever does

old friends are easy to spend time with, new friends often cannot find the time or bear the schedule modification required to make time for a new friend

DL hits meets a milestone today, the mother of all birthdays, the beginning of the end & end of the beginning, now a ‘woman of a certain age’, the down-slope, the over–the-hill-gang; you’ve hit 50, the big five-O & your life will NEVER be the same . . old friend

‘Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.’ – Billy Burke

well aged friends mature are so much better than a cheese; not a stinky or ripe or blue, but one always worth a nibble, always worth a hug

Mark

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re: hiding / just wanted you to know. even though I'm backstage I'm...listening & learning. Always, bebe, Calgary

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Wow what a cool blog you have here! I am impressed. You really put a lot of time and effort into this. I wish I had your creative writing skills, progressive talent and self- discipline to produce a blog like you did. Your blog really does deserve an honest compliment., SE, ?

13C/61F, sunny, cool breeze; joggers running fast, old-folks moving slow dot the landscape as Gusta worked off some kind of bellyache, acting friskier & hungry now

we talked about why people read these daily words; why some respond, why some sit on the fence as voyeurs into my life; first in-depth chat in about six months with KT yesterday - back in Vancouver avoiding intense summer heat in Puerto Vallarta

catching up - yes, but mostly talking about writing; we talked about her current projects – great things going on; we discussed the evolution of musings & the process I am using, selecting the best morsels organized for the book manuscript to make a readable read that will interest publishers

to let you know I am processing - working on the manuscript yesterday reviewing what to keep, what to set aside, what to include, what to stop & read; those early writings of day-to-day flow generated so much response, yet when I re-read it the issues bring back so many day-to-day memories that the early writing quality deficiencies do not bother me much; reminiscing on 3 summers ago

if you spot a Ladybug count the spots, if you spot a Leopard run fast

Leopards never change their spots, disguised or obscured from time to time, but never changing

people portray a wide range of faces, masks, facades & characterizations as they present themselves to the world, to strangers & to those they hold close; notwithstanding the illogic of that, it happens all the time

too many not prepared to be seen, known & understood (or not) based on who they really are – instead portraying who they wish they were when we just want to know who they are, why they are & appreciate them

like Hollywood’s movies, simple elegant truth is much more compelling than the very best fiction

some hide, some don’t; some hide pain, some hide naiveté, some hide fear; most hide fear I think, unnecessarily methinks, but hide they do – or maybe they try to change their spots

hhmmm, meeting & a walk around the park with SW(egad, another Susan!) last night & I am processing – my etymological education began as I learned Ladybugs have a spot thing too: 2-spot ones are being pushed out by dominant 7-spot bugs; I wonder if they could ‘get together’ to create a hybrid of 3.5 spot bugs might be easier than a ‘save the 2-spot’ effort

if you are up close & personal with a Ladybug, count the spots

getting up close & personal with me is easy

sometimes it just requires processing

wellness is about making time, taking time . . what can I say

when ladies & bugs, accountants & golfers & writers count - when they count spots or entries or strokes or characters – we all want to count on someone

NYTimes & perfect scrambled eggs, for one, perfect

Mark
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Mark, ‘Nobody sees a flower - really - it is so small it takes time - we haven't time - and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time.’ – Georgia O’Keefe It takes time to share with family and friends, I feel that never sharing our fears and doubts prevents us from achieving a bond with those around us, I do not mean always complaining I mean sharing our daily doubts and fears with those around us. many men do not share as easily as women do and I feel that is what makes men more prone to the Sunday night trauma of going to work Mondays that affects so many. It is sad that men go to war and seem more willing to settle differences by force rather than by reason. It seems that wars have been around and the more we get good at building war making machines that create economic wealth for some there is a vested interest in producing guns vs. butter. Are we wiser than our predecessors? Have we learnt the lessons of war? Unfortunately we do not seem to have achieved a peaceful mankind but as Suzuki stated we cannot save the world alone let us concentrate on our community ,our friends and our family. Mark thank you for your daily inspirations and may your pen flow your thoughts onto paper and you maintain your upbeat mood. , GR, Calgary

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Dear Mark, A note to say hello and goodbye. I have been struggling financially for sometime and have finally sold up the flat and am going into rented accommodation. It's a move that I'm going to do before retiring from work in a couple of years and moving to Suffolk long term. I shall be moving to a cottage in the countryside just outside Luton for a while before moving on to a more permanent place albeit rented for the next couple of years. finally I shall move to Suffolk in a couple of years to be near friends there and family. One of your musers is right that Suffolk is a lovely county and I shall look forward to it. In the meantime I spend what spare time I have going there as I am this coming week. I am not sure of my internet connection in the future so I am asking you to unsubscribe me from your mailing list on NTL and hotmail. Thanks for the last few years it has been entertaining reading., IO, London

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I hear what you are saying when it comes to momentum. When I have the “big mo” on my side, I can move mountains. When its gone, its really gone; can’t move my pen. I am trying to write a series of essays that I plan to weave into a book at some point. Breaking it into smaller chunks has worked for me vs. trying to write the “book” at once. – Enjoy your thoughts. GH, Strathmore, Alberta

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ann and i wanna say ola mexicasa from cancun... it is amzing here. i have only had 3 drinks and ann promised she would tell me my name. the gran bahai principia akumal was built for us queens. say yoo hoo to the toastmasterS gang and wish we could be there .... ok .... really, that would be a lie. one more pina colada here, juan...; kelly and ann or is that ann and Kelly, AW/KK,Calgary/Cancun

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Thanks for the photo of you Mark at the bottom of your page ... almost forgot how you looked as it has been awhile since we had a coffee together. Give me a call for a coffee the next time you are in Edmonton, Cheers ... KH, Edmonton

15C/59F, overcast & humid, absence of dogs & walkers in sharp contrast to last evening when they were everywhere

my weekend ‘knuckle down on the book manuscript’ is at least underway, too soon to guess what real progress will look like by Monday

reviewing ‘early-days’ musings from spring ’03 to extract the juicy bits takes me back to strong feelings & reminds me how valuable support & encouragement of others was to developing the momentum

momentum . . hhmmm, so intoxicating when present, so draining when it suddenly disappears without warning

Saturday morning Globe & Mail reading is most often more amusing than stimulating; from ads advertising for a ‘someone for my aunt’ to Margaret Wente’s column; pity such a stirring title for such pedestrian material spiced with juicy bits – she has not met any raunchy grannies like the ones I know, but her fantasies are surely revealed; stock up on batteries & lube Margaret

back to my pile ‘o writing now . . momentum building

my attention span this morning - like that of a fruit bat, flitting to one thought & then another in the dark, then a note, then an email, then a call to cancel evening plans; too soon to tell how this day will unfold; perhaps something/someone will move me – meanwhile, like those bats, searching in the dark for juicy bits

Mark

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Thanks so much for your powerful musings of July 26 and to all the readers who responded. Although the situation in the Middle East is heartbreaking, now is not the time for tears but for action. I’m a Calgarian myself and I believe that as Canadians we should not only devote ourselves to peace keeping but to active peace building. For my part I’m involved in a project called “Follow the Women” - a cycling project which aims to bring women together from around the world to raise our voices, stop the violence and show that people from all different backgrounds can find a way to live side by side. All you ladies out there – can you ride a bike? Then you can work for peace. I invite you to visit the website www.followthewomen.com and to get in touch with me if you would like to learn more. Mark, thanks for giving all of us a chance to speak and show that we are not just passive lumps but that we absolutely do give a damn about what’s happening in the world around us, KS, Calgary

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Hi Mark. You’ve got it right... I’m sure you know how much this speaks to me right now. Drama it is. Have to go, and can’t wait… midsummer dream and nightmare all rolled into one. Packing in 25+ degree heat is not my idea of summer fun... but happiness, fun, sunshine, and life await…. 4 more days. Some days it’s all I can do to hold myself together, some days I can hardly contain the excitement. Still hoping to be really moved, though, inside… that’s what’s most important. LS, Calgary

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I am lucky that I can type almost as fast as I can think...I didn't necessarily expect you to publish it, I just felt a need to write it even if no one ever read it. Obviously people being uninformed about the world around them and then feeling they are qualified to make massive assumptions and sweeping generalizations is a BIG issue for me. Statements like, "some people just want to fight" and "They feel disadvantaged and place blame for their life situation on others who are ostensibly well off." are red flags for me. They are prime examples of how little common sense and critical thinking is used by too many of my fellow Canadians. It should be patently obvious to anyone who wants to do a bit of research that the writer's conclusions about why there are wars today are completely off base. And to say that all a person needs to do is "believe in themselves" and they can "realize their dreams"....YIKES!!! Well, I think I said enough about that yesterday. I type up to 50 words/minute; not sure how fast I can talk....but yes, when I am enthused/excited about something I do speak fast. I attended Toast Masters for a while this past year and it was helpful to have to consciously slow down. I am quite busy for the next couple of weeks, not with moving but with work, already committed social activities, getting away for the long weekend etc. so meeting is in the "definitely yes, but not immediately category". When things slow down a bit we can pick a time and place. I will be looking forward to it., BB, Calgary

13C/57F, clearing sky & cooler from overnight rain; walking in the park listening to drops falling off leaves hit the ground creating a special kind of music, a moving melody

DL stopped by for (& brought) dinner last night - thanks heaps, nice to see you & great to catch up; long overdue catch up with Ann (AI) from Idaho the other night, empty nested at last & exploring a move to Whidby Island so lookout NC & CH, there is a beautiful drumming bear making woman headed your way

my mind divided this morning between work-week & week-end thoughts; too much to do to allow myself to postpone it all to next week countered by too strong an urge to get on with my weekend plans & maybe squeeze in 9 holes too . . oh bother, what to do

as I walked I witnessed moving activities at houses marked sold, U-hauls & big vans cruising the neighbourhood I am reminded what kind of weekend this is

a mid-summer moving weekend, which is profoundly different from moving weekends in any other season

a mid-summer dream, or a mid-summer nightmare depending on circumstances

both of these circumstances are scenarios I have known – both run through my mind this morning as movers come & go in my neighbourhood on this ‘moving weekend’

June 30 & August 31 are popular moving dates driven, for the most part, by the academic year for people with children, but who moves at the end of July?

I think people who move at the end of July do it more out of drama than necessity, more out of joy & pain than planning; I might be wrong but I cannot imagine anyone moving in the heat of midsummer unless they have to

some just HAVE TO because they cannot stay a moment longer

others because they CANNOT WAIT a moment longer

drama attaches, positively or negatively – but it attaches, when people are merging homes & lives or when they are disassembling them

moving is stressful enough, work enough, sweat enough without compounding it with emotions that go beyond 'leaving a place or someone you love' or moving to 'a dream home or a dreamy mate'; it is about leaving somewhere or someone because you have to, must do & can do nothing else - in which case the heat & sweat are not important

others are rushing to rush being together which is delightful to watch, more delightful to be a part of & dangerous on so many levels

a moving weekend it will be – for many that will involve a truck, for many more it will involve something else; words like ‘the earth moved’ should be reserved for real earth-tremours; for friends & lovers who’ve not met yet it could be a moving weekend . . who knows?

summer, it would seem, will be half over this weekend as July morphs to August; it seems the heat & desire to play, the desire to ignore all work no matter how crucial, the desire to wax eloquently, the desire for desire - well it seems we are just getting warmed up & the mid point is here already

are you being moved?

will you be moved?

I don't plan to pack a thing or be living anyplace different by Monday, but it might be nice to be moved

a moving summer weekend begins, who can wait a minute longer?

time to get moving

Mark

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Please change my work email address to my home email address at XXXX as soon as possible. Thanks Mark and great job!!!, KP, Calgary

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I believe that the single most important thing every conscious person can do is to attempt to live their lives so as not to contribute to the issues of intolerance and misunderstanding - I realize that this easy to say but not always easy to do successfully. One way to achieve this is for those of us with the luxury of time and a comfortable existence to avail ourselves of the opportunity to become informed. I think someone once said something like the cure for ignorance is education. To touch briefly on a contentious issue that has unfortunately played a major role in many past and present conflicts; I submit, with all due respect, that finding answers, solace and a life purpose in a religious viewpoint is only constructive if it is done in the context of realizing that no religion has a monopoly on Truth. No religion being practiced in the spirit of universal tolerance and understanding, as most claim they are, is wrong yet too often those who practice them pay lip-service to these concepts or ignore them altogether. As a personal example of religion at its best and worst: my son (now 17) and I have just experienced a very difficult year due to the sudden and unexpected breakdown of my 20 year marriage. The offering of sympathy and support to those in need is central to all major religions. During this past year my son and I have been the grateful recipients of emotional, financial and physical support from a diverse group of people that includes among others a Hindu man and his Sikh wife originally from India and a devout Muslim woman originally from Iraq. These wonderful people exemplify what leading a religious (or spiritual if you prefer) life is supposed to be. During the same year my son has been cut off by his father's very Christian family for no other reason then that he lives with me not his father. Our son has remained in regular contact with his father, who is at a loss to explain his family's treatment of their grandson/nephew. , BB, Calgary

13C/55F, clear; nice to escape a hot apartment for a cool breeze outside – vigorous walk

my day began

a bus woke me after I slept through what must have been 7 or 8 of those 9 minute cycles on the alarm clock

comments yesterday were strong, eloquent & passionate; someone wrote me yesterday asking about my passions, someone wrote me yesterday saying they thought yesterday’s musing was my best - they triggered an epiphany of how I should organize my manuscript for my book, breaking a log-jam on an issue I have been wrestling, without resolution, for a long time

my day began
my day began with a walk
my day began safe from harm
my day began with coffee & a banana
my day began with a phone call about fun
my day began with wagging tail of a hungry dog
my day began under a clear sky & a blanket of safety & peace
my day began with another call confirming a business opportunity
my day began with an email from BB moving some issues along - thanks
my day began with some informative emails amid a mountain of junque-mail
my day began reading my daily paper, call it news-lite, airline uniforms the lead story

I am not sure if the world hinges on the new uniforms from WestJet – perhaps it does?

perhaps I suppose
perhaps I take life too seriously
perhaps I should play more & think less
perhaps I should take a more casual approach
perhaps I should go through my day oblivious to the world around me

my day began, I am energized to do many things; some great, some good, some necessary, some ordinary, some mundane & some imaginative ones too & some slow things & some quick things

I take life
I take it by the horns
I take life too seriously for some

is there a better way?
is there another way?

wrestling over, my day began

Mark

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14C/59F, light breeze & clear; another hot day, a cool walk around the lagoon – like walking through an air conditioner; road crews & construction crews & landscaping crews seem to have converged on me early, perhaps a noisy cacophony metaphor for what is rattling around my brain this morning

last night was too hot – even the 4 AM breezes did not disturb me

too hot to remain covered by a blanket or even a sheet

my mind is in the country, my mind is on the next project, my mind is in the pile of things on my table, my mind is on so many things, my mind cannot understand a city celebrating its 1 millionth citizen when so much blood has been spilled

it is too hot

‘A friend is one before whom I may think aloud.’ – Ralph Waldo Emerson

be my friend, listen to me

yesterday, finally, our government compensated hepatitis C victims who got their disease through tainted blood – good; too late, too long, too little to help enough & impossible to fix the problem the government & the blood agency could have so easily prevented; easy to understand why our government stood by so long doing little when against a backdrop of a world community is letting Africa wither & die of AIDS & conflicts around the world; so easy to understand why our government (that’s US) doing so little . . after all, they are alive aren’t they?

governments are us; we cannot blame them for what they do because they represent us, do our business for us, do our dirty business for us & they are not separate from us

which adds to my rage, my dismay at all of us; it is convenient I think, as Canadians, to not think of ourselves as war mongers because we are so often the blue-hatted UN peacekeepers; lately it seems we are coming to grips with the ‘in harms way = body bags’ elements of participating in conflicts; I would like to say conflict resolution but it doesn’t feel that way any longer

it is time we recognize 21st century demographics disprove the rationale of 20th century geo-politics; discard the notion that the information revolution, consumerism & democracy would sweep the world, discard that comfortable blanket we have been resting under

it is too hot to remain covered by a blanket or even a sheet - or any other device that shrouds us from seeing what is going on in the name of OUR country, OUR UN, our WORLD . . these governments, these governments are us

yesterday, as Israel bombed a UN facility & then their ambassador to the US condemned the UN’s outrage made me roll my eyes & wonder why our government is so strongly supportive of the Israeli position in the current conflict when that bombing, among other things, killed a Canadian peacekeeper – just another soldier we don’t know personally like the ones who have come home from Afghanistan in a body bag or on a gurney

it would be easy to distract ourselves with summer heat fun & frolic, to turn off the news & the rest of the world but it seems the powder-keg middle-east is on fire again/still; the notion of cease-fire & intervention by political rhetoric is more than gag reflex inspiring; we are so fortunate to live in a young country with only 3 major founding peoples in a much more gentile struggle of Aboriginal, Quebecois & the rest of us as a majority; not a melted pot but more a pacifist collage – it angers me that we (us, our leaders & our media collectively) ignore all things until they warrant 24 hr. news-channel coverage, then we focus on little else

my mind is in the country – my country & I am troubled by what we are doing

we need to stop being peace-keepers & start being peace-mongers; the protest movement of the 1960’s should be a pale compared to the kind of world wide uprising of rage against this senseless blood letting

if we are going to spill blood, tainted or otherwise it should not be as significant as one grain of sand, one soldier, one police officer or one anything – the point is that it is one of us

every time a bomb lands or a bullet flies, the person it kills is one of us

what comfort can it be to know that the blood is one of these, or those or that other group; it not about race, religion, sovereignty, economics, power, hatred, oppression or self-determination – it is ALL of those

but the body on the ground, the evaporation of a life – that’s one of us

we were peacekeepers, but we cannot call ourselves that because peace is no one’s objective any more; defending land & borders & ideology is not what it is about

I do not pretend to understand anyone’s conflict or multi-generational rage

when we were children squabbling someone would separate us – the peace maker I suppose – then minutes later or the next day we would play again, oblivious to past hurts & conflicts

when will enough be enough?

enough already

it is too hot

Mark

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turkey neck eh?, CC, Langley

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Thank you for the extra explanation as to your purpose. Why pose the question to you as to your intent behind writing the Musing? It is because I am searching as well, and seeking answers from a myriad of possible locations. Your “musings” is one source. As an observer from the sidelines, your Musings follow the laws of attraction which are universal in nature and have created a community of readers. This is what I find most interesting about your daily reflections. I believe (note that I use the word believe versus think) that readers are drawn to your writing because of an intrinsic desire to be part of something bigger than ourselves. As you said, “it matters little to me whether 4400 people get it or if any of 4400 get it” but I suspect it is important to you that this community of readers receive it and in turn that those attracted to your writing take what they need to feed their souls. So from one of the 4400, here’s to your daily routine and staccato style, may you continue the journey and feed the community that you have created. , SZ, Calgary
PS. Thanks again for taking the time to meet for coffee.

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Hello! I still want to be on the important event announcement email, like when you have a new CD, concert, etc but not the daily musings. Thanks, and God Bless, MdSC

13C/55F, light breeze, hazy cloud on horizon – otherwise clear; Gusta likes the early morning cool

the Calgary Herald ran a sub-heading indicating today Calgary is the 3rd Canadian city to reach 1 million; I wonder which one of Toronto, Montreal & Vancouver they forgot

trying to dig a little deeper in my understanding, a little deeper in my belly, tickling my funny bone once in a while, not because of anything anyone thinks or feels or reacts to – but for me; I do it for me & it does so much for me

a musing reader who finds value, that is my bonus – they get value, I get warm all over knowing that; a humbling & prideful mixture of knowing that in some tiny way, every action has meaning – this ‘more stream, less consciousness’ & ‘it ain’t about you sweetheart’ rumbling & rambling is something I have become driven to do

why do I do it?, he asked; why do I? - why do I take time every morning to create something, hopefully of meaning & value, to send to some friends & a lot of strangers?

why do I? - a valid question but I know I did not give SZ a sufficient answer to his question because I had to go to another meeting – our coffee pleasant but too short yesterday – so here it is Steve:

part habit, part routine – this has become part of my daily life; unlike a diary it does not disclose deeply private things of mine or anything private of anyone else’s (thanks to painful lessons learned early on); part compulsion, part self-aggrandizing

I would love to write something brilliant & timeless one day; if I do I may not realize it when I do but somewhere down the long road of the future, someone might read something I have written to draw some meaning from it - or they might read something today that affects them

that’s it - to affect them; to have an affect, an impact, upon someone – to help someone, to inspire someone, to be of value to someone; to help someone see something more clearly, to help someone understand more fully, more deeply

it need only be one someone - just one person each day, then it is worth it

I am that one, each day – I am someone searching, reaching, digging; it matters little to me whether 4400 people get it or if any of 4400 get it; it is gratifying when people do, I am awe struck & humbled when it does, but that is side-benefit to my selfishness

it might seem strange – after saying all that - to quote this notorious person [she & I share a birth date Aug. 7] on the anniversary of the day in 1917 when she was sentenced to die by firing squad; someone who lived large long before that term came into fashion, someone who left the world wondering about who she was & why she was – surely she
was, if nothing else, spectacular in her life & in her death as she was with these words:

‘The dance is a poem of which each movement is a word.’ – Mata Hari

each movement is a word

every action has meaning

I’ll have some of that

Steve, take or leave whatever you want from musings; if it is of value to you, use it - if not then keep looking for what eludes you; if you are like me what eludes you most will be the place you tend not to look - inside; the answers you seek may be found in Mata Hari's words, in mine or somewhere out there in the world but they will be meaningless to you unless they rise out of your own belly one morning

Mark

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Hey Mark, You were not very far away from me this weekend. I was visiting my sister in Shaunavon and was there to help her out at the Rodeo. You should have popped down for the dance, I know how much you enjoy dancing and country music .. haha Two of my younger sisters and myself were born in Eastend (20 miles from Shaunavon) but moved to Calgary when I was 5 (Eons ago) so imagine our surprise when my sister meets someone from Saskatchewan and moves to Shaunavon. It's a great farming community with lots of great people. My aunt still lives halfway between Shaunavon and Eastend so I enjoy going back to see her as well. You might want to check out Eastend as it is a cute little town located along the Whitemud River and it has it's own golf course too. It even has a Dinasaur museum. Hope you had as great a weekend as I did. Take care .., CC, Calgary

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Hi Mark – I have finally decided that there is just too much pap and pretence and not much thoughtful expression in the traditional media on the Alberta political scene. So I have decided to try and engage more citizens in the situation. Inspired by your Musings openness I have decided to be open and overt about what I see is going on and what could be done about it. There are some political bullies in our party – both elected and anointed - and they - like all bullies are best exposed and resisted openly. Blogs are such a freedom of expression for people and so democratic in that the reader gets to chose what, when and who they want to relate to. The centralization and control concentration of conglomerate convergent traditional media is no longer as curious or conscientious as it once was. They can return and I hope the do but I do not see that happening soon. So visit me from time to time at www.ken-chapman.blogspot.com . If you have any ideas, issues and insights that I can help with – please let me know., KC, Edmonton

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It was good to see and hear from the person who is setting the world on fire with his writing. Future Musings will take on a different perspective. Create a great day!, SZ, Calgary

16C/57F; overcast, sprinkling just enough to not get us wet; Gusta met those 2 old-girl retrievers, but otherwise she seemed confused that we were not experiencing new surroundings to scratch – it seems she itches for more of those gopher smells

‘ Few people even scratch the surface, much less exhaust the contemplation of their own experience.’ – Randolph Bourne

as I walked through the neighbourhood, such a sharp contrast from the low-density country villages & towns I’ve been exploring the last few days, I think I know SW Sask & SE Alberta 500% better already having only scratched the surface - barely scratched the surface of understanding places where pioneers scratched out a living from nothing – I itch to know more

photos in obituaries(more than1/2 of them) it seems, are inserted by caring relatives who want to remember happy times; but the person who just died would probably be frowning angrily if we could wake them up to ask - they would probably all ask for more time feeling they have just scratched the surface of life

‘Fill what’s empty, empty what’s full, and scratch where it itches.’ – Wallis Simpson

my itch/scratch period is nearly over now as 4 days growth on my chin has me pondering if this might be a good time to re-grow my beard; I’ve been missing it & could use an extra 10 minutes a day – if for no other reason than to be 10 minutes late less often

bye, gotta shower & dash to meet muser SZ for coffee on time

‘Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.’ – Ogden Nash

Mark

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{written @ 7 AM @ Safari Inn, Swift Current, Sask, sent from home in Calgary @ 4 PM}

28C/82 F, light cloud & light breeze; we got up close & personal (about 10 ft.) with a Swainson’s hawk; he looked well fed on a diet of gophers & pigeons, both of which are abundant around the school yard he was patrolling

a breezy early Sunday morning on the prairie is as quiet peaceful as one can imagine a summer morning being; I will be back to this area for sure but not to stay at the Safari Inn where a TV, fridge & a lumpy bed with requisite air conditioning (Gusta loves A/C) where plumbing quality is perhaps equal to an African adventure; NEXT !

first we say a 1913 1 room school house (too small & a scraped head – ouch – but an interesting thought) & touring around potential spots we can look next time, my intrepid agent spent Saturday morning getting acquainted with my needs & showing me properties; we saw a well located & well priced solid structure 91 yr old farm house & 90 yr old barn; ‘money pit’ symptoms obscured slightly by bizarre menagerie of filthy animals & pig sty lifestyle of the current owner - NEXT !

9 holes @ Elmwood in 35C afternoon heat yesterday was less pleasant than expected; note to self: play earlier in the day & also check out the Chinook course next time; the ‘sticks to your ribs’ pizza from Western Pizza will lay in my stomach for days to be sure – NEXT!

road sign for village of Webb {between Swift Current & Gull Lake where they have neither gulls or a lake} cracked me up . .scroll down!

gotta hit the road – lots to explore along they way

Mark
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Hi Mark, Interesting -- I was born in Swift Current (lived in Morse) and find your description of the area quite appropriate and nostalgic. I haven't been back in many years... maybe it's time for a visit. I have to admit I love the prairie, more so than mountains. I love the openness, the expanse, the clean air, the smells, the grassland, the wheat fields (or canola or whatever) and the various critters that can be seen and/or heard. That's one of the reasons I appreciate where I live in the city...prairie grassland only a few steps from my back door in Fish Creek Park. Vacation has been changed and changed again so who knows when it will actually happen. For sure I am off the first week of August but everything else is currently up in the air. Have a great week. , CC, Calgary

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There's something special, even mystically spiritual about the Saskatchewan prairies ... those immense wheat fields alive with the rythmic movement of gentle prairie winds...those spectacular hot evening lighting and thunder storms that make a mockery of the Calgary Stampede fireworks ... and that fantastic endless canopy of blue above, so humbling in its immensity. This summer we drove from Calgary back to my birthplace, Saskatoon, to celebrate my mother's 90th birthday. With Mom and my three brothers in the van, we drove north past Waldheim towards her birthplace on the farm close to the North Saskatchewan river. On the way we stopped for a sacred moment at the rural church cemetery where my father was buried two summers ago, and where our ancestors, some born in the mid-1800's in Europe, are laid to rest. The bones of great, great grandparents, uncles and aunts, and recent cousins repose in quiet solitude under the shade of fir tree branches, trees planted long before I was conceived. On two sides of the cemetery are lush fields stretching as far as the eye can see. We sat quietly by Dad's grave, contemplating my father's 92 years and a life so well-lived, thankful for this place called Saskatchewan, and grateful again for the opportunity to bask in a flood of priceless memories...driving the tractor on Grandpa's knee, jumping into the hay stack from high in the farm loft, catching gophers and frogs, eating Grandma's sandwiches down by the creek, listening to the extended family lustily singing gospel choruses by the piano on a Sunday afternoon, digging endless rows of potatoes on a hot august afternoon, and swatting mosquitoes while sitting on the old outhouse perch. Why is it that there are really no words sufficient to describe such a prairie cemetery moment, only a heart pregnant with gratitude. Mark, thank you for your daily musings...a gift to many. May your search for a "home on the Saskatchewan range" be successful, and may your time spent there bring you joy and peace, GD, Calgary

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I didn’t realize you were looking for a getaway. Awesome. Saskatchewan is definitely underrated and as long as you have water what more do you need as a writers retreat. You can muse anywhere. How are you enjoying “Blink” I have been trying to listen to it this week and keep falling asleep. Since I have not been sleeping much at all I don’t think its interesting me. If you think its worthwhile I will persist otherwise it will be another time that I read or listen to it. , DB, Red Deer

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Hello Mark, How are you? Sounds like you're enjoying your country retreat. I think I have been unsubscribed from the musing mailing list. Feel free to reinstate me. It looks like outgoing mail from that address however is not reaching contacts as I mailed you some time ago and I know you're always courteous enough to reply or at least acknowledge. I was hoping you could help me. I have been looking at a visit to western Canada this winter for my birthday and Christmas and I had established contact with a couple of your musing circle of friends. However when I installed the new PC, my contact list at the fsnet address was wiped along with the message history so I can't get back in touch. Please can you put my plea out with your musings. We're enjoying a prolonged heat wave here in the UK. Some parts are as hot as Spain. It's been great. People have just had to slow down, take a siesta and leave small stuff until tomorrow as air con. is not standard in most buildings. The whole atmosphere of the place has transformed although some people have been tempted to reveal more acreage of pasty English cellulite than is usually acceptable in town. Might as well enjoy the onset of global warming while we can as most of the south east of England will be engulfed by the sea if the projections for the melting ice caps hold true. How far above sea level is Calgary? You could be on to a far better thing than you ever imagined. I like the sound of Swift Current. I love out of the way places that no one's ever heard of; just take the elevation into account. Suddenly everyone here has finally cottoned on to the possibility of climate change and the impact on our country. Hey it only took about 40 years to work that one out. Mind you, for a nation whose constitution was laid out in the year 1215 that's undue haste. I would recommend people get over here quickly and not just to see big healthy girls in mini skirts and ill-fitting skimpy tops but to catch the culture before we become the next Atlantis. Best wishes from Shelagh, SK, London

[written @ 7AM . . sent at noon from the Best Western lobby where hi-speed & a newish computer reside; guess I know where I will stay next time]

29C/84F F , hot calm & clear in Swift Current; we walked along the highway (Trans Canada) for a while, then up to the high school where off-leash meant ‘roam the football field & sniff every gopher hole’ for Gusta; our critter sightings were a sheep filled cattle liner parked at McDonalds & dragon fly carcasses being devoured by bumble-bees & some deer we saw in waist high wheat while watching a near-perfect sunset on a hill SW of town last night

cell phone coverage varies from sporadic to non-existent, high-speed internet at the Safari Inn motel is sssssssslow speed by my standard & people are friendly; things are clean & cheap, neither a Safari or an Inn

I had Gusta out for a stretch & P at a little roadside turnout where she did not understand the consequence of rushing through barbed wire to greet that black Brahma bull sunning himself in that corner of pasture – the epitome of slow motion, he was as oblivious to us as he was to the occasional car that trundled down that road

my descriptions inadequate to describe the special nature of this place; there is something incredible about this quiet country where everything outnumbers the people

Swift Current seems like a pun because the river creek snaking through this vibrant prairie town of 16,300 has neither current or any appearance of movement since it is damned both up & downstream; the trip yesterday was a great afternoon of exploring around Saskatchewan's prime cattle country Maple Creek, Cypress Hills Inter-provincial Park & area - gently rolling high plains where scrubby pasture & active dunes in the sand hills meet waving wheat in breezy Arizona-dry heat

just as Calgarians often overlook the special-ness of our place on the map, underestimating the awe-struckness of visitors, this fellow cannot understand why I find this area of SW Saskatchewan so captivating; I spent some time in the part of Saskatchewan when I was a child on holiday with my parents visiting relatives at Leader; when my mother was a young telephone operator she worked in this area – Maple Creek, Gull Lake & Swift Current so I am back here for the first time in about 25 yrs when we used to visit SK’s friends on their farm near Cabri

I will spend some time this morning with an agent who will show me farms & acreages For Sale; he cannot seem to understand why I would want to investigate buying a home on the range (where the deer & antelope play) here with a barn suitable for renovation-to-residence, just for weekends – thinking I suppose that I am just a weird big-city guy who wants a weekend make-work project 4 ½ hours from home; I see it as worth investigating a 3-day a week place to putter & write & golf - a place to sit outside in silence any time of day or night, where the stars are up close & the air is hot & dry – a place where people don’t lock their doors, where retired couples walking down a street hand in hand on Friday night to pick up a bucket of chicken is a big date

driving in the heat yesterday listening to my new Percy Faith tape (thank you CN&CM) & my audio book (Blink!) perfect background to incredible countryside; hey MW, I saw your stores in Brooks & Redcliff

I have a round of golf this afternoon @ Elmwood Golf Course that runs along the side of the river & will do more countryside exploring around Gull Lake as I make my way back to Calgary tomorrow

Mark

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I expect you're angry with me for bypassing Calgary, but I so needed this summer away from everything except family. We've all thrived in the solitude, the time out. Today I'm flying to Halifax for a week of work...then back here, to Michigan. Although there are plans for a week in Calgary before heading off to Africa, I won't make promises I might break. When I'm back, I'll let you know - and you can decide then if you'd like to get together for a walk or a coffee or "anything" (as per your suggestion in our last message). Photos of me (the "feral" version - no salons or day spas in these parts - and I don't care) with Xoe (the wild child) are attached. I will welcome input on taming these lovely creatures, another topic for discussion. Musings today...really beautiful. Mark, you've become quite the writer in your journeys - a gift to all of us who follow your path, CB, Calgary/Michigan

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Please add XXXXX to your list. I was fortunate to get to know my father later in life and since we both worked in Real Estate we did do some deals together. My Father talked to everyone and cheered up their day, the waitress, the garage attendant, the security guard and the cleaners all knew his name and cherished having a talk with my dad. I have tried to be open to all people and have a kind word for all the people that work at all levels of our society. There was a movie in Quebec named UN ZOO LA NUIT or a zoo at night and it relates the story of a son and his late in life reconciliation with his dad. And as his dad is in his hospital bed he washes his face and sits by him and I repeated that with my father and my brother and that simple action creates a tremendous bond with the person in their bed as they feel you are being their caregiver. I miss my dad’s smile, his always neat appearance in shiny shoes and a nice suit and tie and his funny and friendly demeanor. You cannot be your dad but he is part of you and if you are lucky you get it (his influence on you) and take the time to know him. GAR Calgary

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I love the way you speak of your father.........I only hope to leave the same impression on my children!!, KA, Calgary

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Hi Mark…This is a beautiful script. I’m sure he’ll be proud of it…and you for writing it. Don’t be surprised to see it in a frame on his wall one day! I wrote a similar one (in poem) for my mother’s 80th and she framed it. You are a good son! , LH, Naples, Florida

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Hi Mark: I owe you a phone call and will call early next week when I get my head above water. Having just lost my dad reading about yours today really opened a flood of memories and emotions…..for that I owe you a big thanks. Cherish the time you spend with him and pass along birthday greetings. Take care, MW, Calgary

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Mark, Fridays musing ran true for me and probably for many. You and I have been fortunate to have our greatest teacher on a lifelong retainer. If I end up half the man my father is I will be satisfied I have spent my time here well. JB, Calgary

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How beautiful Mark. Your musing today made me think of my dad and brought tears to my eyes. My dad sounds just as great. Thanks for your daily musings! MR, Rossland, BC

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A big happy birthday to your Dad! What a great description of him. He does have a great gift in knowing how to listen and caring to listen. And never have I ever heard him say anything mean or derogatory about anyone. He is great in a way most of us never achieve. , SC, Fort Smith

12C/54F, stiff breeze, sunshine; Gusta chased a rabbit & tried to engage that b&w border collie in conversation without success; border collie owner smiling - appeared happy – first time I’ve seen that look

he taught me how to skate & how to ride a bike though he never skated & could not ride a bike

he taught me all I ever needed to know long ago, but on some things I am a slow learner; this man taught me a work ethic by example, taught me to treat people well (I will NEVER reach his level) by example, taught me to listen – not by lecture but by example

he never rose to what most people would call greatness or high achievement – so few people beyond his family know what a great man he is

shriveled now by age & a degenerative back this little man with the walker stands very tall

I cannot remember thinking of him as old or growing old when I was young

when I was growing up & even recently (he worked in our business with me until 6 yrs ago) I never thought of him as old; he was always 30 yrs. older than me – that never seemed to change – he never seemed to be getting old or ancient

he was the guy I only got to know once I was grown up & away from home

he was the guy I built a garage with 1 week in Calgary about 30 yrs. ago, he was the guy who
helped me so many weekends when I was building a house west of Edmonton 26 yrs. ago; he was the guy who worked with me in my business for more than 20 yrs; he was the guy who built toy boxes for his grandchildren & always had time when he was needed

he never told me how to act, what to do or how to do anything

instead, he showed me – I got to watch at home & at work, at work & at play

I watched; some things I learned, some I am still studying

he never said no when I asked him for help; there was rarely a need to ask because the help almost always was offered before the request was made

he never skated & could not ride a bike; but he taught me

he had never been a father & grandfather but he learned well & he taught me

he knows how to listen better than anyone I know; he is still teaching me

he never skated on ice, he often skated around issues & around hurting anyone’s feelings; he never shrank from responsibilities though he often took on ones he could have & should have declined – he never learned how to say NO very well; these days he seems to enjoy living a bit vicariously through his son quizzing me for all the details of every adventure, his eyes beaming brightly at every story often seeing special qualities of someone he rarely sees or has never met more clearly than I do

I plan to stop by his place for a little visit before I head out of town but chances are he will be out & about somewhere listening to somebody who needs to talk

HK is 84 today – happy birthday!

Mark

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Mark, I am one of the many who were mysteriously added to this list...and are grateful to an anonymous benefactor. I enjoy your musings as I have spent the last ten years learning (or at least trying) to live in the moment and be open to all the experiences and learnings that present themselves. It seems it is much easier said than done! I will have a new e-mail as of this evening. Please change to XXXXX . While my friends might suggest that m.p.d. is a likely factor, in fact I have been married for almost 10 years to a great (and very understanding) guy and have decided for various reasons (change of direction in career, two inquisitive kids) that it is time to finally drop my first husband's last name. Oh the tangled webs we weave... As for for your first question, I am a real estate lawyer (likely the connection with one of your readers), a mom, a wife, a friend, and just generally someone who enjoys life and pondering the deeper questions (when I have time, which can be a rather rare commodity if I'm not careful). Keep up the interesting thoughts. JO, Calgary.

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I would suggest that any woman who is afraid of being dismissed or discarded by you because of your flippancy isn't the right person for you (or possibly the right person for anyone, see the next paragraph). If flippant is a characteristic you have, you need someone who is comfortable enough with who they are to realize that your style of communication is simply that, a style of communication, not an indication of your feelings for her. The fear of dismissal or of being discarded in terms of initial or short term connections is an interesting comment on a person's readiness for or ability to have a real relationship. Why be fearful at all? If someone I have recently met decides they don't want to pursue a long-term relationship with me, it is not a negative reflection of who I am. Why should I feel disappointment, sadness, anger, embarrassment or rejection because someone I barely know doesn't want to be with me? The opinion of a stranger (even if I am wildly attracted to that stranger) is irrelevant to me because I know who I am and what value I will bring to a relationship if and when I meet someone with whom I experience mutual attraction. In fearing rejection a person is in danger of avoiding altogether opportunities to connect or allowing themselves to alter their behaviour and/or appearance in the hopes that they will be more likely to attract or retain a connection then they otherwise would be. Bad news either way. A relationship predicated on misrepresentation is only heading in one direction and someone once said, there can be no success without trying. Regarding "great expectations". Why approach any first meeting (or even the first few meetings) with anything but an open mind firmly parked in neutral? It is not reasonable (though perhaps a natural human response) to form an expectation of what a person is really like from emails, msn and/or phone conversations no matter how many of these you have exchanged with them. I have known people who communicate exceptionally well in email or sparkle on the phone but can't manage to sustain a conversation in person, BB, Calgary

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Hi Mark, I'm pleased that MP mentioned the undiplomatic "NEXT" thing you do. I know that as a one time"prospect" I know it has given me a wholly holy fear of meeting you. It comes off very cold. You also seem to be strangely passive - as in "show me what ya got babe" rather than looking to inspire your lover. Wishing you well. CH Chimacum

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With respect, I agree with MP. Ms. NEXT and Ms's EX, combined with the backup group, kind of crowd the hallway. I think you should learn to admit that you're incorrigible and be done with it. Who has more fun than you?, VJP, Dewinton

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I must confess that I have noticed those ‘NEXT’ retorts recurring in your musings’ comments and also took offense at the apparent underlying tone which I found dismissive and perhaps even arrogant? Just an FYI for what it’s worth!, MM, Calgary

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Hi – you refer to your stickies and I have been meaning to ask you what that is about. I am reading Barbara Sher’s new book regarding scanners. So far I see myself as a scanner and it has gone a long way in clarifying what goes on for me regarding what seems to be a lack of focus… as others see me. So I gather you write “stuff” on your stickies. I will recap what the book says when I finish reading it. I think you might find it interesting although you seem to have found your place in the world. I think my constant changing and moving to suit my curious mind and need for learning has left me feeling happy within myself but out of sync with others. People who work 20 years in a place don’t get it at all or there is some sadness around what they feel they have missed. Been answering a lot of questions at work regarding what I am doing and how bizarre it is that I would leave Vancouver and UBC to do what I am doing. I seem to spend a lot of time explaining to others why I do things. That never works out very well for me as I feel judged. I am really glad to have found this book. She talks about stickies and I haven’t read that part yet so I am not sure if this is the same as yours. I will keep you posted….Living in community is one thing and living in the community is yet another to me. In Vancouver I had a community of like minded individuals. It was a group in constant flux … some living together, some working together, some playing together but always connected. I think shared values of caring for each other and mother earth as well as striving to make a difference. I think you would like them. My postman said the other day that “I am so restless” and that is how I feel when my time is over. Like a prowling lioness looking for the next meal to devour and so it is until I find what it is I need. NEXT. Have fun golfing. I know nothing about Swift Current but I love the name. Cheers, DB, Red Deer

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Mark, Who does like criticism?...unless diplomatically communicated and maybe creatively expressed I guess. I have somewhat stumbled upon your musings by accident and must be honest when I say they are quite intriguing, and often worth reading. I have met you many times, spoke to you on the phone, and bluntly am not a fan of your personality, but then again I doubt you are a fan of mine. I have had you in my home and even been in love with one of your daughters only to be discarded "Next!" At first I was devastated as it literally shook my world and I also held a deep anger but now realize that she came by it honestly, I should have known after seeing how alike you two are. Through that loss I have grown immensely, found that others can only help so much, most of the helping is up to you, but this is not about me. I hear you speak of praise as if you have never heard or received any in your life, but should record any of your conversations you would suffer from a swelled head. At times where both you and I have been present, the conversations were often overtaken by your own self praise, rather than showing interest in the lives of others you are closely related. Now I am not trying to condemn self praise, however I beleive that should you take a step back and realize what you have achieved and overcome in your life you would be humbled. Two daughters, three relationships (where lightning struck), a business, and a retriever, not bad at all. Maybe just my opinion, but should you like to hear praise maybe have a look on your life, reflect, and realize what you have had, lost, and still have today and let it speak for itself, rather than boasting pompously. You have many great characteristics Mark, but sometimes the loudest messages are the ones not spoken at all. It may give you a deeper perspective on what path you want in the future. Now I have shared some criticism and some praise what do you like better. I always like to tell the truth. But then again this is only one intellectual midget's opinion. (I think they like to be referred to as small people now), anonymous post on the blog

13C/55F, lots of dogs out, breezy sunny; Gusta wagging & dew-drenched

I like praise

I hate criticism

more complex than that, but that is the quick answer

on the other hand there are those who deride, criticize, mock or slam – most of those I’ve learned to put on ignore; criticism, the head of a different monster

a speech at Toastmasters last night touched me & I think touched us all who were there; to see the fire in the belly of an outwardly mild mannered guy

his first ‘Ice Breaker’ speech; his story more than broke the ice as he recounted a home & childhood of whacks emotionally, verbally & physically, of how he continues a struggle to rise above & go beyond all that; moving, powerful & worth every moment of listening

it got me thinking about criticism (some constructive, some not) that we all experience every day & every time we re-member & re-live those experiences from our childhood which may have scarred or scared us

each week I get lots of feedback from many quarters; if I listen to all the negative & critical
comments & tried to act on it I would be tongue tied & mushy ball of flesh absent any self-
confidence ; friends & mentors have encouraged me to recognize the real criticism & treat it differently than dung flung indiscriminately

through the muck shine bright stars who come out rarely to shed light & offer criticism intended so genuinely to be helpful – I try to notice that, try to listen & try to learn

last night I was asked why, after having met so many women in recent years, that I have been unable to find someone appropriate for me; my answer would not fit into a sound-byte nor was it appropriate for discussion in that group in that place at that time

this morning I got a note from MP, an original-8 member of this muser community & rare respondent; she added some fuel to an issue that deserves airtime; reminding me that I use the word ‘next’ more often than might be wise or at least politically correct – that doing so might give people I meet, women in particular, a view of me that might not be conducive to opening discussions for fear they might be dismissed or discarded in an uncaring manner

I am too flippant & probably not going to change much but being more diplomatic is probably good advice – the question remains whether I can implement it

it has come out when - notwithstanding great expectations & build up someone turns out to be very different than they have represented after having been 'great expectations'; conversely, if the expectations are low, the build up small I think the 'let down' is much less when people don't connect

waiting for lightning to strike & thrill me with joy again, as has only happened 3 times in my life – I am looking for that magic again & would far rather have someone mad at me because I said ‘NEXT’ than to choose to spend serious time with someone where a spectacular fire could not be built

a spectacular fire does not consume or scar; it changes you forever & that is a very good thing my friends

Mark

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Mark, I enjoy your daily musings. I don’t want to lose them, have a new e mail address. Thank you for putting me on your list, BC, Calgary

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Hey there! Could you please add XXXXXXX . Thanks!, CK, Edmonton

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Did your column ever get published in Venture magazine?, DR, Calgary

10C/50F, sunny & calm, walk uneventful, joggers grunt something inaudibly resembling good morning

full plate equals clean slate, to me, means that the plate & the slate are distinctly different things, even though I let a full plate of ‘things to do’, distractions & competing values consume my energy – all the while, my slate is clean – my agenda to explore new opportunities & ways of doing things is ready to be written upon

today is a plate clearing day; some items to devour, a few to savour, some to pass along & some to trash – today is every day

tomorrow, just like today, can be a clean slate day; a clean slate to do things differently, approach things differently - far less difficult to do than it first appears

full plate equals clean slate – my oxymoronic attempt to bring two ideas together; like too many cars for too few lanes at rush hour, too many little things on my plate make it hard to see my plate but that is just temporary as each item removed from the confusion reveals a clean slate, a blank slate, a clean plate

his struggling leaves little opportunity for stepping back to see the whole picture; I met with an old (the friendship, not the friend) friend yesterday – he struggles with several things on his plate – pushing hard, working hard, caring hard, loving hard – he finds it hard to deal with the things he cannot control – which is everything - except for his own choices about how to see things & how he directs his own energy; nothing else is controllable, nothing else will let him see a clean plate or a clean slate

today is every day

Mark

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Congrats on using an email service Mark. Should provide many happy returns., SB, Calgary

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Hi Mark, I have been reading your musings now for a couple of months and I like the way you think. I don't know who put me on the list to receive these, but like others, I am glad they did. I know what you mean about the wheat fields in Saskatchewan and watching the wheat sway back and forth. Actually just the other day I was telling someone about the very pleasant memories I have of doing this very thing. Very therapeutic and tranquil. Thanks for your thoughts. I was actually born in Swift Current many years ago and moved to Calgary with my parents many years ago. I am fortunate and have two beautiful children, a son and a daughter who live in Calgary. They are married and living wonderful lives with their children who I enjoy whenever I can. I am divorced and adjusting to all the new things that this brings however remembering that each new adventure has something I need to know., DT, Calgary

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Hi Mark, I realized I haven’t been receiving your daily musings since I got back from Holidays. Can you start me again? Thanks, DH, Calgary

11C/52F, overcast, the lagoon brimming as Gusta studies a dozen of this year's ducklings - no parents in sight - paddling around aimlessly exercising those tiny flippers, not wandering far from home

what made that happen, what made us see, why were we there to see it, what explains this?:

last night we had a great critter sighting up close; Gusta, nose pressed against the patio door screen, was riveted by a pale young buck with velvety antlers nibbling leaves on the apple tree – we watched him browse for about 15 minutes, then he ambled across the road to the lagoon; then my daughter Krista called – mostly to talk about her new car – but she called to talk, in the middle of a West Wing re-run I had not seen before; we talked about the car – what could be better than that?

this day – like every day, like yesterday, brings nothing to the table; each day without personality, motivation; it is has no benevolence or malice; it brings another revolution of the earth – nothing more

what makes this day great vis-à-vis any other? every morning we have a choice – to be relevant, to make a difference or to stay home

whether reading morning papers or history books, July 18 can be special or horrid; depending on which side of the world we are on, which side of the fence or which side of a situation; sadly life & our world is competitive, combative & populated by too many mean spirited & hateful folks; is it better to be on the right side, fight the better fight, or just be on the might side; or better still, to avoid conflict altogether?

sometimes we need to stay in a tough situation; not because we make a difference to the situation, but because it makes a difference to us

I have a breakfast meeting with a dear friend - 25+ years now - he is troubled; all I can tell him is what I believe; all I can do is hold up a mirror to help him see himself & to listen

my advice - to him - to me - to you is this: not all fights are ours to win or to fight in - sometimes we need to separate ourselves from the problems of others; we should stay in the fight if we can truly make a measurable difference to someone, to the world or to ourselves, or we can stay home

gotta run to that breakfast meeting

Mark

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Thanks for the best musing yet. Opportunity and change are commonplace but we must be open to them. You comments reinforced a conversation I had with myself yesterday. Thanks for your wise words, I also live on Fish Creek Park and my solitude after busy days of selling real estate is walking my German Shepard in the park or going for a bike ride or fine tuning my roller blading. Life is wonderful! I really enjoy your musings. I wish I knew who put me on your list so that I could thank them personally. It must have been a client. Take care, MB, Calgary

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Hi – Since being back in Alberta I have found watching the sky, day or night really interesting. Not sure how living on Keats with all the huge cedars will suit me after this. I just picked two buckets of raspberries and a pot of yellow beans for dinner. I think I am a farm girl at heart. What book of Allende’s did you get yesterdays quote from? I just discovered her last summer and really like her writing. I am reading Zorro for the second time right now., DB, Red Deer

14C/57F, clear with a bracing breeze, I walked fast while dew-coated Gusta inspected tall grass in search of something smelly – finding nothing, we walked on

I like the night-shift now & then; my Sunday pre-occupation, compiling & publishing FacilityCalgary, affords me solitary time & opportunity to be pre-occupied with the silence of the night; living near the south edge of the city near the south lip of Fish Creek Park within ¼ mile of the Tsuu T’ina First Nation lands it is part city, part country out here

sitting on the patio or just keeping windows open brings to me the inky silence from 1AM until about 3:30, when intermittent coyote choral singing break the silence until 4:45 followed by wake-up birds through 6:15 when tires humming engulf local air waves

enlightening lunch conversation yesterday with my dad; amazing how one item/issue from 48 years ago - once revealed - explains so much - makes me wonder what would have happened if he had challenged that one comment, said 'hey, wait a minute' to get clarificaiton; I wish I could turn back the hands of the clock for him so he could have taken different directions on things, made different choices etc., but that would be tinkering with his choices - opportunities he cannot recapture

that got me thinking about how swiftly opportunities pass me by; sometimes it is a chance to get on a new merry-go-round, sometimes a chance to get off

‘Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.’ – Leo Tolstoy

whether change is long overdue, or something you thought of just minutes ago needs to shift – why not make that change now; if not now, when?

things will NEVER be the same again whether I change or not, so why not change?

I may not change the world, or maybe I will – but nothing will happen unless I change myself

what about you?

remember

change is inevitable

except from vending machines

Mark
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my condolences to your father and yourself ..many losses for you both this year, SN, St. Paul

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Mark, I absolutely loved your musing today! Always entertaining, sometimes infectious and today truly relatable. Being inspired to step outside the familiar boundaries for me has meant going through some unfortunate curve balls life has thrown me in my 37 yrs and surviving them. I would be a liar to say that I still don't feel "chicken" or reluctant on many an occasion to challenge myself in certain unfamiliar circumstances, but none the less I choose to live my life fiercely today, and that has required defining what I need or desire, and not settling for anything but that! I know the stickies on the wall...I get it Mark, and it really does assist to manifest change as well as clarity. I want to thank you for putting me on this musings list, and sharing your wonderful self with us daily. I adore you. Am I bad to want the whole chicken? CN, Okotoks

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Since your off to SC, you'd best try Elmwood Golf & Country Club; it is (or, at least used to be) very nice. Also, there's a SK magazine, Prairie North, which has, in the last couple of editions, profiled some of the better courses - expect it's on line. Enjoy! Regards, SD, Devon

. . .

There is only one small step between enthusiasm and excessive optimism!, SC, Fort Smith

12C/54F, clear & light breeze - weekend dog walks seem to bring out the worst in yappy lap dogs; Gusta wags at all, strains on her leash each time but never utters a bark – I walk on, trying to think quiet & tranquil thoughts with Pekinese yapping in the background

stepping outside familiar boundaries, testing ourselves, exploring depths & heights; inspired sometimes by the most cerebral things, sometimes the most innocuous ones; looking deeply long & hard – or simply asking a couple questions getting yes & yes as answers

how often we taunt someone saying ‘chicken!’, we are reluctant to do something – feeling ‘chicken’, but why?

is it gut level, learned behaviour or just concern over what someone might think?; see chicken in a new light; see ‘afraid to do that’ or ‘that is outside my boundaries’ in a new light

first . . define what you want, need, love, desire; determine what thrills the core of you & then go grab it; I have

I like it, live it, love it

it is not at all about chicken; my stickies on the wall process works; sometimes hard to describe to friends, prospective love interests & clients – when saying ‘my stickies told me it was not a good fit’

consulting stickies on my wall, like looking at a roadmap - I am moving closer to goals I have internalized; these yellow & orange splats of a word, a phrase or an idea help me manifest change, produce results, feel clarity & measure that which fits vis-à-vis that which don’t

my energy often diluted in pursuit of thrilling opportunities running madly off in several directions; lately my focus more concentrated on fewer streams of activity, thought & desire – helping me better than ever to focus unswervingly on things I absolutely need/want/believe I should be doing, discarding those that do not fit; it helps accelerate saying yes, no, maybe & NEXT!

I took LM a.k.a. parka-babe, to the chucks (the chuck wagon races) last night, stopped to visit with Dale & then we left the grounds where frenetic crowds, greasy food & ridiculous rides collide

exhaustion & liver health are on the minds of many Calgarians today who cannot even think ‘next year’; time to retire boots & hats away for another year - Stampede draws to a close tonight; each year in Calgary it seems summer is 25% gone before we know it

thoughts racing ahead to next weekend; just me & my dog looking around speedy creek (Swift Current); I love the feeling of standing in a waving wheat field on a hot sunny July day - a longing connected to having Saskatchewan on my birth certificate no doubt; I will combine looking at some properties, measuring distances from the ‘ideal barn to convert’ to those places where I can whack the white dimpled ball

farm country, where ‘well, there is always next year’ is mantra, where land is plentiful & cheap for those who bring hard work & a love of it

2nd lastly – something I came across (might be stopped by some firewalls) from Chilean writer Isabel Allende:

‘Erotica is using a feather, pornography is using the whole chicken.’

lastly, gotta run . . brunch with my dad & a busy week ahead

Mark

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Thanks for returning me to your musing list. It is great to be back. It was great to see and talk with you at the Conroy Ross Event. Was not able to follow up of Thursday but will call you this week. Thanks for caring!, DH, Edmonton

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Hey Mark, How're things? Thought I'd catch you up with what's happening in Irvine... The weather lately has been unbearably hot, in the high nineties. Much of the San Bernardino area is on fire now, not close to us but ya gotta feel bad for the firefighters out there. Mark, Delaney and I have taken to spending time at the pool across the street from our house. "D" is quite the little swimmer now...she loves the water and squeals with delight when we walk up to the pool gates. At 5 months old she has taken on such a sweet, little personality. We're planing a trip out to AZ to see my mom and dad at the beginning of Aug. Talk about HOT!! Suppose we'll spend all our time in the pool there too. All's well...we are blissfully happy and healthy...and Delaney's hungry. Take care, Mark, LR & Co, Irvine

. . .

Still in Michigan, not wanting to come back ever. I HAVE to show up some time - I live there! Will write again tomorrow..., CPB, Calgary

14C/57F, sunny; lots of dogs dragging owners around the circuit; one huge guy trying to talk logically to a miniature poodle was amusing – like yuppies trying to reason with a petulant toddler in a shopping mall

rest & sleep & slow start - moving slow, thinking slow, thinking about family matters

family matters – 2 words – not enough can be said, told, explained, 2 words; family does matter; an only child, I have no sense of sibling relationships - I cannot lose any because I do not have any; being 1st, last & only - a felling I know well

I have 2 daughters, they understand things I never can; they understand having siblings, knowing siblings, sibling rivalry, being close to siblings, being distant from siblings, fighting with siblings, playing with siblings, loving siblings

when I meet others who share ‘only child’ status, we usually connect immediately – some kind of bond, some kind of mutual understanding about the solitude one enjoys/endures at different moments & no understanding of sibling rivalry

HK (my dad) seems not to be mourning his sister Lenora as much as adjusting to a new feeling;
youngest of 12 he was the last born; now nearly 84, he is the last standing - unfamiliar territory; she died the other day after spending 14 yrs. (dementia long ago eroded her ability to know anyone) in a nursing home; I'll lunch with him tomorrow & we’ll talk about the solitude, now that we have something new in common . . we are both without siblings; being 1st, last & only; a felling I know well - maybe I can

happy 51st to KK … hope you have a great holiday with your family; I imagine the time your son spends with his grandfather will be precious & enjoy; you work incredibly hard & manage a busy practice but I know every time you are ‘unavailable’ it is because you are off somewhere demonstrating that family matters

it was a clear calm night; friend for the roster to be sure, but neither of us witnessed lightning strikes as parka-babe (in town on family matters); she wore not a parka, brought not a fish; she did bring pleasant company & a rawhide toy for Gusta to chew on (gone already - it did not last)

brought me a book to chew on; the card said 'some pursue happiness, others create it'; thanks p-b

Mark

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Nice pic Mark … kind of you to share for all of those that haven't seen the face behind the musings. I'm in Kelowna … so busy it is almost stupid compared to the pace in Mexico. Can't believe my time here is almost half over … then the long drive back to PV. Keep on Musing! Sinceramente, TA, Kelowna

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Hi Mark . . nice to meet you.. my names Caitlin, I’m 24 yrs old . . a friend of mine added me to your email list, Kinda neat to read about other peoples lives. I live in Langely, BC originally from Tsawwassen, I work at a golf club http://www.beachgrovegolf.com/ and have for the past 4 years. Schooling was in the works at the UBC Sauder School of Business except for a car accident that gave me a migraine for 9 weeks . . so I went on academic probation . . major athlete-golf, soccer, baseball, working out . . oh well.. so parka babe, tell me about her? Anyways just thought I’d introduce myself . . love readin' the daily's ... keep it up; attached a pic of my puppy, he’s a year and a half.. sittin’ beside me right now, 225lbs of pure love! his names Tyson, CC, Langley

7C/45 F, clear & light chilly breeze – exhilarating, Gusta takes a long time collecting a dew-coat in tall grass

my schedule today lists 3 tasks; write musings, come up with some great names to consider & meet parka-babe’s flight @1:50

add to that the ‘pile on my desk’ that must be done by the end of this weekend & things are looking pretty good going into the weekend

I need to come up with a great name that says simplicity, stability, boldness, creativity, pursuit of opportunities, innovation & daring-do to brand a new development venture BB & I have begun – a little issue that, once done, will not be examined again - yet it takes a long time to get it right

I am impatient about this – as with just about everything - yet I know things I’ve done well, done memorably, done with zeal & passion have always takes a long time, have taken much patience + some secret sauce

our society is so fast-food, fast-everything world, all in a hurry

instantaneous information, real-time news, nothing is slow

do now

decide now

choose now

figure it out now

the world we live in – where I make 100 little choices before breakfast

hundreds more through my day, most with little consequence whichever choice I make; a precious few might change my life, my year or at least impact my weekend

I gotta be a little nuts to think I can figure something out, plan something comprehensively or sort through what is in front of me well enough to make decisions, to make choices, to choose a path that will lead me where I want to go & to do it well while doing it in a hurry

thinking about the great thinkers, the great scientists, the great innovators; Edison tried nearly 10,000 times before he got the light bulb right, Newton & Archimedes - countless others – spent hundreds of thousands of man-years thinking & calculating without use of a PC or Google, without foundation grants, without fame or fortune; why then, when I consider all of that, do I expect anything I try to do will be easy in any way, quick at all – or simple – if I want an effective elegant solution?

it takes a long time to get it right

what measures the quality of an idea, the quality of a person, the quality of a connection; is it possible to know at first blush, first glance, first meeting, first . . . whatever . . is it possible to know what might happen?

I think it takes a long time

Mark

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Hi, Can you add XXXXXX to your musing list. Thanks, JL, Edmonton

. . .

Mark, Talk about “ships in the night”, I was scheduled to go to the Conroy Ross event yesterday as I attend most of the functions that CR hosts and would have been pleased to have met you. I could have enjoyed a WWWHIJM with you on the other end. I guess we will just have to schedule a LMMFC (Let’s meet Mark for Coffee) event, what do you say? Have a great day!, SZ, Calgary

. . .

Hi Mark, I will be away for 6 weeks so it would be appreciated it you would suspend my "musings" until the end of August. Thanks! Enjoy the rest of the summer! Regards, BM, Calgary

15C/59F, sunny; our walk uneventful – my head in another place

[for those who get musings via blog-city, it appears there was a glitch yesterday sending the same message repetitively; I believe blog-city have that fixed now]

après dinner discussion at DA & SA’s dinner party 3 yrs ago – laughing lots - centered on when I write about someone & someone else thinks it was about them; happened again yesterday – to be clear, there is only 1 person on this list I dubbed parka-babe; anyone else thinking it was them should remember the working title of my book – ‘it ain’t about you sweetheart’

1 of a kind day; drained, recovering, ingesting caffeine does not diminish impact

we all do many things, most of them routine, typical or simply repetition of things we’ve done before; the more experience or success we have had then the more confidently we do them, the more times we do them the more ho-hum routine they become; every now & then a ‘new experience’ that starts out looking like the many mind-numbing ones we had so many times before - arriving unannounced, they grabbed my attention

moments of clarity in the middle of the tempest – I have them here & there, sometime 2 in a day, but when a number of them happen in a day it makes me say WWWHIJM

I could write of my whole day & tire shopping & the great Woody Guthrie biography I watched last night or the early parts or the late parts of yesterday, but that would take too long & obscure my point

stand out items from a 2 hr. period yesterday: most, alone, were not 'ah-ha' moments when they happened or standing alone, but each built on the other, clearly 'not just coincidences to ignore' moments, but cumulative wow & WWWHIM moments

there was music playing, live & good I suppose, but it was country so I tuned it out; there were faces everywhere, many familiar - none to avoid, but mostly just faces in a crowd to ignore so I tuned them out; arriving, meeting JJ & DK . . . say hi to each other guys, began the hhmm - pay attention . . just the beginning of one of those 'pay attention', there are more than just a few
coincidences about to unfold

ah-ha moments of revelation, a phone call to confirm a big problem settled, one about a project
proposal status, bumping into someone from a past life, learning someone is leaving their job,
someone else left theirs; meeting new prospective clients, getting fed & watered, a lingering handshake chance meeting, gazing into incredibly beautiful blue eyes, conversation of moments that could easily be hours without need for any further stimuli - as if someone stopped the clock for a while, having a truly engaging exchange (overdue & what took so long?) with the smartest politician in the contest to be next Premier who seems, finally, to get that he has the potential to win & that he has probably missed the boat, helping a friend/client network, plus bumping into way too many interesting old acquaintances & interesting new ones too; something special about all this

all this in the span of a couple of hours while attending a Stampede function - thanks Conroy Ross - your function was far better than you thought

I had a good lunch time yesterday – how about you?

WWWHIJM (wow, whoa, who have I just met?)

Mark

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Mark: Can you add your picture to the musings? It adds something for me to see the newspaper columnists’ picture, even if it is a stylized pen & ink drawing. It is a chance for some of us to recognize you, in a different way!, SR, Calgary

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Good morning Mark! Hope this creates an unexpected moment for you……..Have a wonderful day! , DB, Calgary

. . .

‘Creativity is jumping into the unknown’, said Douglas Cardinal the architect who designed the Museum of Civilization in Hull Facing the Nation’s Capital. I am new arrival from Quebec however I volunteered for many committees at the Stampede and have met wonderful Western Canadians by doing the unexpected. I enjoy the Prairie Work Ethic that Westerners practice and am still amazed by the big large blue skies and the beauty of the Rockies. By doing the unexpected you are jumping into the unknown and you may very much enjoy the ride, GAR, Calgary

14C/57F; chilly breeze, overcast – our walk solitary, calming, my head busier than I wanted, Gusta sniffing for her rabbit friend but nothing in site, nothing unexpected – but I was looking for it

3 Stampede functions in one day is always a challenge when woven together with 3 appointments + real work too; today will be busier than I wanted when I planned it

unexpected diversions, unexpected surprises, unexpected – the things that alter your life – happen all the time, every day, all day – most we ignore, some we notice

I mean the unexpected phone call, the unexpected piece of mail or email, the unexpected warm smile across a meeting room table, the unexpected response to a question; the unexpected feeling, the unexpected problem, the unexpected answer that sends us down a new path, the unexpected opportunity that is revealed when something has failed to work out

some things are expected: the sun coming up, water in the tap, light when we flip a switch or an answer when we dial 411 or 911 or anyone we count on or know well or are related to – these & many other things are always EXPECTED, but what about the unexpected?

the unexpected; now that is a different matter altogether; we expect things will be the same unless we do something to change it; but that is simply because these things do not change often/quickly, but inevitably they change too ; when they do they too fall into the realm of the unexpected

some that we notice, we act on; sometimes the change is thrust upon us, but most often that too is a function of our own choices, though sometimes it seems so instantaneous that it must be only a nano-second of decision making time

I will happily take the unexpected every time

‘If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to meet it.’ – Jonathan Winters

go ahead now . . sometime in the next minute, hour or day – you have the opportunity to do the unexpected; why wait for the unexpected – create it

while others wait for opportunity to knock, go do something unexpected - it is your move; it always is

Mark

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Hi, I couldn’t figure out whether you meant type choice in women or type print in your musing. How are you doing? Enjoying the stampede festivities? I would really have liked to see Dale Auger’s work. I want to get his book for a little Cree girl I know in Northern Ontario. Life is quiet…. Lots of work and lots of laughs with the gals. My garden is astounding and I have my first sunflower in bloom today. Simple pleasures. This afternoon is Saskatoon berry picking along the river. Stay well, DB, Red Deer

. . .

Hey Mark. Thanks for the kind words. Yes, it’s true – far from perfect. I’ve given up trying… I’m far more fun this way. LS, Calgary

. . .

Hi Mark, just dropped into your city for a few days, I used to call it "my town" but it seems that has changed for me. Thinking of selling my condo as it feels like it's time to put some roots down and living in Kelowna has the answer. Liked your upbeat musing today, cheers and may you enjoy may days golfing, just don't let it beat you, GNP, Kelowna

8C/46F, sunny, light breeze; Gusta introduced herself to a Kildeer by the lagoon but soon learned they will never be close; Google search describes a Kildeer as 'noisy bird and restless'; frenetic with the attention span of a rabbit perhaps

I met with LS yesterday, very nice - always great to meet a muser; ones ½ my age should not be my type; what would Svengali do?

I had fun/was flattered as I am every time it happens when someone comes out of the blue to meet me, to praise my writing, to discuss their lives with me - the perfect stranger [OK, not perfect!]; not unexpectedly there are some things we have in common that perhaps explain striking a chord; thanks too for format feedback [I'm changing my type] - I've been pondering it for a while so have a look at the comments section today, hopefully an easier read now

is it true for me, is it true for writers, or only true for her? I was listening to a Margaret –gagme- Atwood interview on CBC the other night; she spoke of ‘writers writing about what they fear’

I recognize this successful & widely accomplished writer spills words on paper with the best; she may have something there, but I am torn; do I resist the notion because I disagree or just because I cannot abide her

where my mind goes, actions follow; more than thinking about my desires, directions, objectives – I know it is the elements I have really internalized that govern my behaviour, govern my reaction to things & people

the ‘I wish that was how I feel’ stuff is more like mind candy, not real enough to be settled in the belly, not settled enough to be part of who I am

conclusions du jour: things are not as I wish they were, they are the way I choose to see them; my life is full because I choose to make it full, keep it full & I cultivate connections with people who help me keep it interesting & vital; Margaret Atwood is not my type

my type - the words on the page, the people I call friend, the people who matter to me, the people I enjoy most - each have a common thread making them 'my type'

being prepared to open up, to be real, to stand tall to say ‘this is who I am’ without concern for anything or anyone – it is the real-ness that explains it best; I look around my life at the people I embrace, who embrace me – the people who tweak my brain, or I tweak theirs, the ones who turn me on in any number of ways – they all have this common thread

real, really really real

my type

Mark

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