Musing

Hi Mark: I am finding that I delete your musings more and more often...without reading them. I am living my own musings...Thanks, LC

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Mark, I don't think the problem is so much that people loose touch with the child within. Seems to me, too many of us are screwed up because to few of us spend much time with our inner ADULT. All this liberal angst... and no one to wipe away my tears. Whaaa... it was all my mother's fault. , WM

Gusta romps with sled dog strength in a zig-zag chase rabbit tracks fashion, overcast, -16 C /3F , traffic crawls by us

CD celebrates a birthday today – may you get what you want & want what you get – say ‘give me lots’ . . it will show up !

‘Map out your future, but do it in pencil.’ – Jon Bon Jovi

projects deadlines dominate days, sleeplessness dominates nights

things seemed so unimportant when put on the ‘to-do pile’ . . less so now

my cup runs over a bit, fatigue a lens through which each new opportunity this week is relegated to the ‘to-do next year pile’

images of warm places, sand between my toes, snoozing on a massage table & tripping away for weekends are just a pre-sleep fantasy these days . .

I can sleep next year . . right next to my ‘to-do next year pile’

coffee, black . . give me lots & lots . . . and bring me pencils !

Mark

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Please remove me from the list, Thanks and good luck., RM

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We need to stay in touch with our little girl, or our little boy, in us … where all things are possible, where everyone is as they are – with their own beauty, where every day – every moment – is new and where we are on an eternal exploration. Yet, too often we limit our possibilities, limit our people and live in the past or live in the future – all with varying reasons. Must we? Some would argue; some of the time – or others, most of the time. Hmm... I argue that our little girl, or our little boy, is our mentor. They are our genesis … that we need to welcome them as an active participant in our life. DAAM

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Please sign me back on to your distribution list., GF

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I guess each person can decide which constraints are binding and which constraints are freeing. I think that we all make choices and choose our own constraints. Where are we personally comfortable? Some people choose not to have the constraints of work in their lives and have freedom every day to spend the day as they please, usually without any money so their choices about what to do are very confined. Some choose to work and then have more choices for their leisure time. Some people choose to have the day to day freedom that comes with single life but in their happiness may not realize that others choose a more constant sexual life, or choose family life, or choose the ability to build assets together so that they can retire early. Some people do not have the emotional make-up to enjoy constant changes of partners. What is a constraint to one person might represent freedom to someone else. The best thing is that we can choose for ourselves, although we are constrained because others are sure to make choices differently from ourselves. LHE

-10C /14F, steady breeze yields chilled cheeks & frenetic pup spinning her claws on ice covered with a light dusting of snow that fell overnight

maybe artists have answers

‘It takes a long time to become young.’ – Pablo Picasso

or singers - with tunes like ‘please, release me, let me go’

or . . Michaelangelo, as he ‘released’ David from a chunk of marble

me too - waiting to be released from marble constraints, or is that butterscotch ripple ?

seriously, why cannot we just ‘release ourselves’ from things that constrain us ?

I do not mean try the CPR method I saw on TV last night, I mean the metaphorical CPR

re-start your heart ?

why not revive our spirit of playfulness that made us so successful as children ?

our structures are not physical, but rather the bonds of ‘how things are’ or how we’ve been trained to behave; societal norms, family ways & relationship politics

I see others, see myself, remaining prisoners without walls - held by things that should not bind us or hold us back or prevent a free spirit from emerging

I’ve spoken recently with several people whose aversions to things that should not matter, whose tales of people who stayed way too long in unhealthy relationships [oh, haven’t we all] in one form or another leave them seeking to be ‘released from that’, seeking ‘to find their new ME’ . .

struggle that shouldn’t be struggle

the creative process we had as children to draw what we dreamed deserves revisiting

who cares whether we colour inside the lines or on the outside of the box ?

look in the mirror

wonder & ponder – do we see those same things we’ve seen for years or do we see the playful energy of our youth ?

I found myself observing others & commenting on things . . of things, patterns, behaviours & issues that never change – realizing I have my own set of foibles, possibly just as frightening to someone new in my life as some of those ‘issues du jour’ are for me in someone else’s

I’ve made some new connections – always fun, always an adventure – will they be freeing ?

will they be child-like fun ?

never knowing what a walk, dinner, slice of cheesecake or box of crayolas may bring

revive me, my spirit - give CPR, repeat . . give CPR a chance to revive my spirit

Mark

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sun wakes chilly overcast sky, -6C / 18F, lagoon a strange landscape of ice with islands of open water, Gusta plows snow

my out-of-touch daughter is no longer out-of-touch & the Edmonton Eskimos defeated Montreal to win the Grey Cup in overtime; life is good

this one with a name or that one with an idea or another note of an event long past – or the ones with no text, no phone number – just a word or a phrase written ‘in the moment’ to be stuck next to my computer screen, on the fridge, the bathroom mirror or on today’s pad of to-do things

some sticky notes are destined to get attached to the wrong material, only to surface one day in the wrong file – like a missing favorite pen - at that moment of re-discovery [expletives deleted] I find surprise, joy or sorrow

they had meaning in the moment they were written

important reminders, scribbled ‘notes du jour’

3M’s low tech device is part of our culture like databases & cell phones

to throw away this old sticky or put it in a different spot, that is the question ?

should it be treasured, not to be lost ?

surely the meaning of those words scrawled one day will have meaning again, but what ?

some meaning is surely intact, it is my memory that does not adhere

now curled, wrinkled, ratty; as they age, losing their stick

like people we encounter & keep around in our lives, some old sticky notes REALLY matter, others never did

Mark

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Ah...I didn't give you something to critique, did I? Or are there scores of other wounded birds out there transiting your life space? Trust you had a flavorful sea bass evening with the Hawkwood visitor... No, I never kissed you off - apparent mis-understandings in both directions. I'm just a mess and don't expect anyone else to share in it. The literature suggests it takes 9 months to work through the worst of a "crisis." I should be getting there soon. Just now arrived home, so need to concentrate on family first. Later, amigo., CB

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Hello Mark, you may not remember me, I met you at Starbucks in Shawnessy one evening for coffee and chat in order to determine if we would spark a mutual interest in each other either in a physical or mental regard. Anyway I just want to say that although I intend to some day enjoy the luxury of time spent reading one person’s view of life and running commentaries of their day to day dog walks etc. I do not wish to read the musings every day. Please delete my name from your list. Thanks anyway Mark, NC

-3C /28F, fresh snow crunches underfoot, walking precariously as lug soled hikers on ice while being pulled by Gusta the plow-horse I am challenged to keep my balance while she burrows & snowplows on every 2nd lawn

‘There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.’ – Oscar Wilde

and, ‘what would Dickens say ?’ . . he had those great expectations

getting, getting what we want, getting ‘some’; all familiar terms, but how do we get what we want ?

I am reading something I’ve been asked to critique; it challenges me, not so much to comment on the writing, which is pretty good, or the content which is overflowing . . . but it is overflowing with the angst, pain & anger of someone who cannot get over the loss of something that, it would appear, was not so joyous or at least not to the other party

I’ve ranted - most of us have when we’ve left a relationship or when we’ve been left or when things go horribly off track; I’ve brooded about what went wrong, about whose fault it was

how many times, I wonder, do couples together get what they both want ? or, speak openly about how 1 or both is not !

I often encounter men & women who have split; when I hear their tales of woo & woe, chronicles of anger, betrayal & loss – I am amused, not in a laughing way, but in a ‘why could they not see the forest for the trees’ way

losses, I often wonder, are not loss of what they had [since their retrospective is usually coloured with so many stories of mediocrity or worse] but of their expectations of what they had

great expectations, lost

were they realistic, ever ?

it does not matter . . the loss of those expectations hurts deeply . . without regard to whether they were realistic in the first instance !

oh such great expectations lost & gone

as I consider new adventures, new opportunities to have sweet & fruity dessert & great company too . . I am challenged to keep my balance

it seems it is Grey Cup Day - go Esks !

Mark

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Hi Mark. Your thoughts on silence reminded me of the first lines of a poem I wrote a long time ago "Silence that is filled with sound, for those with hearts to hear" In response to your: "déjà vu . . . meeting someone new . . . for the first time . . .again" I have a friend who always says " I know I have met you before- This life or another?" when they get that feeling. I think we all get more than one turn on the wheel. , NMB

calm & quiet in neighbourhood & park this morning, 3C /37F, Gusta romps, then at each reindeer & Santa display erected this week she stops quizzically – wanting to play with that giant snowman – but he stands still, he stands silent

when we talk; when people talk – often getting it wrong, sometimes getting it right – there is a sense of connection, a sense of attempting to communicate

on the other hand, there is silence

when we are out of touch the silence brings no appreciation of tone, body language, volume, mood, intent, emphasis or anything physical or sensory that conveys information, ideas, mood or personality

silence

can speak so loudly

silence in the presence of someone is really ‘just being quiet for a while’ while still ‘present’

silence at a distance – out of touch, not communicating – a different matter

what is he/she doing, thinking, feeling, experiencing ?

it is all a mystery, it is unknown, it is private

private to them – yet I yearn to know

not to know intimate thoughts that are not my business [ok, maybe some of that too], but . .

are they OK? are they safe ? are they well ?

are they happy or sad ?

are they connected to me in some way ? . . . are they disconnecting ? . . or

has disconnection occurred ?

sometimes we speak loudly – sometimes we speak louder with silence

I am feeling that a bit right now

a few people in my life – a friend who needs time & space, an acquaintance who is clearly out of touch while stating the opposite & a daughter who has dropped out of touch . . .

silence is good

silence makes me think

silence is powerful

silence sucks

Mark

hi Mark that is so kind of you. today is my daughters birthday and it is her 22nd..on December 3rd is when Adam died. yes this time of year tears at my heart and makes me reflect on all the wonderful moments I shared with my young family and also how lonesome it is without him. There are conflicting feelings. Of being blessed to have had it all. being cheated of a son that did not see himself the way I saw him. Being confident that my daughter will be ok, and being scared that she may not have the resiliency to allow herself to embrace life and enjoy the moment. life is complicated. I can't tell you how much this message is appreciated. Thanks so much. I hope you are well and thriving. all good things, JS

10C/50F, warmth returned . . . again . . . just like before over & over; the ice is off the lagoon again leaving a mirror to greet the sunrise again; Gusta romps as if on a new path of fresh smells where she’s been so many times before - déjà vu

déjà vu . . .French . . means, literally, "already seen” . . a feeling that you've already experienced this very thing -- same friends, same dinner, same topic etc. – sometimes it’s just a remembering fondly thing sparked by some event or someone or a note on the calendar

déjà vu . . . ‘it’s 1 month till Christmas & I have not bought a thing or made a plan’

déjà vu . . . walking along the Bow River in Eau Claire last night, a place I’d been before

déjà vu . . . meeting someone new . . . for the first time . . .again

déjà vu . . . some days are too vivid - moments/a day nearly everyone forgets, but as fresh & precious as the original event for just 1 person

Mark

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Hello Mark, I can relate to what you wrote today. Being of service with freedom and ease is what I aspire to. I am in a team training program through Landmark Education. Have you heard of it? , J

Thursday Nov. 24, 2005 - Year 3, Day 249 – thanks and giving

cooler today, 0C/32F, twilight reveals clear sky – refreshing walk

I recognize some of the things I do best for clients – moving things forward, finishing things & being meticulous about details is one of the areas where I am weakest at in my own affairs; like the shoemaker’s kids who go barefoot, my affinity for paperwork, accounting & form filling is something I do so well at the office & so poorly at home

my dining room table over-flow-eth with paper

speaking of overflowing . . . it is the season of harvest wealth & cornucopia displays . . of Christmas shopping & football & happy Thursday to our US muser friends, enjoy your turkey . . . or maybe ‘enjoy your shopping/Thanksgiving long weekend opportunity’ !

"It is therefore recommended ... to set apart Thursday the eighteenth day of December next, for solemn thanksgiving and praise, that with one heart and one voice the good people may express the grateful feelings of their hearts and consecrate themselves to the service of their divine benefactor ..."
- Samuel Adams, November 1, 1777 (adopted by the 13 states as the first official Thanksgiving Proclamation)

a VERY proud BB called to announce his newest grandchild – congrats & best wishes for many more !

Mark

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Hey Mark .. It seems like there is two CC s so from now on I can be CCC .By the way CC, I like what you wrote and I feel the same way. I'm all for second chances but sometimes life just doesn't deal them to you. Have a wonderful day and enjoy the weather. Wish we had this in August!, CCC

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nice, cozy place you got here :).., anon

It has taken me many years to learn to trust my gut but I rarely allowmyself to make that decision from a first impression. My first impressionshave most often been accurate but there are a couple of instances where Iwas way off the mark and I was fortunate enough to have a second chance tosee these people in another light. There is a reason we have an initial negative reaction to someone or something and it's important not to ignore these feelings. However, it's equally important to make sure our first impression isn't driven by outside sources that may be affecting their behaviour or clouding our judgment. Weall have days when we are not presenting ourselves at our normal best and Ihope I am given the same opportunity to redeem myself should I leave anyonewith a negative feeling after our first meeting., CC

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You write about NO today. I am interested because I recently said no to an offer. It was both definitive and interim. I would have preferred to say YES, but there was a condition missing, that required I say NO with conviction. I hope my NO is not final.He, being a man, may assume it is, and not exploremore, as you say. I rest on my convictions. I hope they are worth it., CS in Maine

Mark, Great quote by Albert Einstein! It gave me a really good chuckle this morning! Keep up the musings., BM

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Good afternoon Mark. Here's my observation, for what it's worth. And having never met you, it's all based on "my impression". You exude confidence, yet it could be misconstrued as a bit egotistical or narcissistic. But the great thing about it is that you just don't care what other people think! It's such a great state of mind to be in - I wish more people were at that stage. I agree with you about first impressions - they're not that important; what is important is getting to know the person without all the superficiality. Keep on keeping on Mark., TJ

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GI's response was "too heavy in opinion". I must disagree on two points GI: 1. loss in memory of the pre-Grey Cup (speaking from Edmonton "ahem"!) and 2. Mark doesn't give strong opinions???...I'm going to assume GI was speaking tongue in cheek or over imbibing at the time while watching the pre-game game. BM

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calm, 4C /39F, Gusta experimented skating on the lagoon ice as we watched a glorious sunrise

since my first sales training at age 17 I’ve learned impressions matter, especially first ones

they mean so much in the course of dealing with people

often they are treated off-handedly [mea culpa] so that someone’s impression is radically skewed from a true picture of who we are or what we are about

interesting sometimes to re-think why we said yes, no or maybe to an opportunity, a social connection . . a second meeting . . a second date . . or a hotel room

I have many spectacular people in my life – the fullness of who they are could never have been understood at ‘first impression stage’ – so glad we gave each other a second chance to know each other

should I ever give a confusing ‘impression’ to anyone, this should clarify:

I have desires – want only opportunities
I have challenges – want only more challenges
I have needs – want nothing but to pursue getting them met

sometimes I need a second chance to make a first impression . . a deep impression, maybe an indentation - perhaps a permanent alteration to 1 or more lives will result

a week of venture, adventure & misadventure await . . . ta ta

Mark

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Hmmm. Today, you were good., GP

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Please add the following person to your distribution list(s). She is a vibrant late 40's (perhaps early 50's?) woman, with a keen interest in photography and life in general. Her email address is XXXX@YYYY.ca, Tx, ME

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Mark, On the other side of this planet, it's too late to have the wonderful Sunday you wish me to have.... The good news? Monday looks okay., WM

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Ahh, the mystery of what mixture of characteristics will bring the quality of experience we aim for. Hmm. I rest the responsibility for quality first on myself whether with someone or on my own. Now, to find another who does the same and wants to do the same with me. It continues to be a mystery. DAAM

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Hi Mark, Pre-Grey Cup over, too sad, forgotten in two weeks and no one will remember who played ! As a musing reader, your writing is good, lacks opinion, nothing a reader could ever take you to task for. I am interested in your opinions of preachers ( a weak and empty sermon) those are words of..................I can not finish that sentence for I have not the words. A decision for a dinner companion is only a good one., GI

beginning:
11C / 52F strong warm west winds push back twilight & clouds revealing a molten sphere as it backlit the clouds in crimson & purple as we returned from our walk

most weekdays, whether my musing is long or short, I am pressed for time – hurried; I just let that which is on the surface spill out, then publish it complete with typos & clumsy phrasing spell-checkers never flag absent polishing & massaging which produces - wide ranging response from ‘that hit home for me Mark’ to ‘it seems so much the same each day’ . . .

the ‘weather + walk’ report opening is now habit; it sets my writing routine in motion

if you don’t care about the weather in south Calgary or what Gusta sniffs along the trail, then skip that part if you are pressed for time

the ending is written first or the night before but inserted at the end - little reminders to myself to pay respect to a birthday or accomplishment or to say thanks for time spent with a muser; which fills space where a conclusive ending might otherwise be found

but no one is fooled

my ‘middle portion’ does not draw conclusions, does not bring readers to a definitive end – my intent is to leave my thoughts as ‘just there’ for the reader to take or leave or refute

the theory fails often, as I draw conclusions & spout opinions with authority I usually lack

seriously, I would rather a musing reader draw whatever conclusion they might from their reaction to my thoughts; I care less whether someone agrees, disagrees, identifies or denies my points as being anything like their own views . . . that is not what I care about

I care about stimulating thought – not debate necessarily, but thought & dialogue – as much for my benefit as for anyone else’s

preachers writing weekly sermon rely upon structure in the order of service; they paste their thoughts into a proven program that consumes time & space such that non-critical observers might not notice a weak & empty sermon

sometimes I fight with myself feeling that what I’ve written is too short, too limp, too ineffectual to be of value – only to read the next day that someone thought it was superb & it saved them from making a dreadful decision or prevented them from missing a glorious opportunity – oh bother, what to do . . .

this brings me to the middle – that blank section in the middle of the page crying out each morning saying ‘fill me up’, ravage me, spill out your soul here & empty your emotions in this spot . . . it begs me to fill it with something worthy of 4600 people investing 3 minutes of their time

today’s ‘middle’:
spending Saturday night alone with Gusta & my leftovers, no takers in sight, I have been reflecting on defining what I want besides a frequent regular dinner companion to commiserate with about the day, laugh at ourselves & to be joyful with:

I’m looking for an incredible 1 night experience that repeats more than 180+ nights a year, I’m looking for a year that repeats 40 times which should leave me 94, worn out & ready to expire, but since I plan on living to 95 . . . I’ll have to rethink this position somewhere down the line; in re-reading this I recognize I am describing the quality of an experience rather than the characteristics of a person.

end:
Lauren [LR] & Mark celebrating their 1st anniversary today & no doubt they continue, makin’ whoopee experiences at every opportunity

title:
choosing a title each morning is often easy . . . sometimes very difficult; I usually pluck a phrase from something in ‘the middle’ that captures in 2-3 words a mood, theme or point, my hope being the reader will be looking for that reference & its meaning

muser responses:
I don’t have anything figured out any better than the next person – but when readers flatter me with praise & recognition I shamelessly bask in it; it moves me when someone reports that I inspired a thought or an action that has made a difference, made a change, made things better in their life

when I make you shake your head, make you laugh or cry or touch you somewhere deeply - if I do that just once . . . then all these daily writings are worth it, worth the time, worth the effort, worth the tummy twisting that creates them.

‘We are given a shot at dancing with, or at least clapping along with, the absurdity of life, instead of being squashed by it over and over again. It’s like singing on a boat during a terrible storm at sea. You can’t stop the raging storm, but singing can change the hearts and spirits of the people who are together on that ship.” – Anne Lamottt

to my 4600 shipmates, have a wonderful Sunday

Mark

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Mark, we all "write off" people. It's a time management issue. Sometimes, perhaps often, we make the wrong call but the time required to gain absolute certainty would seriously impair your "work, read, play, errands" mantra. You certainly wouldn't have time to make leftovers. We can only get better at making the call and leave others to explore Einstein's infinity., RH

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Hi Mark, I simply meant you work so hard at being up all the time, do you ever relax? Had you been one of my students I am sure I would have thought you hyperactive. I hope you were not referring to me in today's musing....certainly was no insult only a far off observation!, GI

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Hi Mark - thank you for your email. Had a great birthday and celebrated with friends. Ciao, PI

breezy & clear, cooler normal weather returns, 1C /34 F, frisky dog & frisky owner ran as much as we walked this morning . . . felt great

someone pooh-poohed me yesterday - I mean ‘dismissed me arrogantly with self indulgent smugness that was so unnecessary & unbecoming’

Q. ‘do I do that to someone else ?’

A. ‘no . . . well . . actually . . . yes, sometimes’

just as the person I’ve mentioned, I know I write people off, write opportunities off because a ‘first impression’ tells me it will be a waste of time or because I will get my head messed with or both . . or just ‘cause my gut says NEXT !

so why was she such a fat cow [not a reference to her girth, but a metaphor meaning incredible idiot] ? why is it some people, me included, dismiss others arrogantly, ignore a chance to get to know someone who might be interesting ?

Q. why do we pass on an opportunity to pursue a challenge that might be interesting, instructive, impossible & absolutely worthwhile ?

A. ‘Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.’ – Albert Einstein

Albert understood human behaviour better than Sigmund or maybe he worked for a large accounting firm

the frenetic day & busy week ended pleasantly - AW came over for dinner; Gusta loves attention she gets from visitors, especially when they are dog owners – she can smell another dog but cannot find it

I like company & enjoy cooking a ‘real meal’ + the leftovers it generates are often better the next day re-heated

leftovers - lingering enjoyment of someone’s company . . and, oh yes, the food in the fridge too

my thoughts this morning a Saturday morning jumble – the ‘to do’ list, the ‘to do’ pile, the ‘to do’ errands . . . as visions of warm beaches, groomed golf courses, weekend getaways & magical yes & yes moments creep in to my mind, they dance in my head like visions of sugar-plums

I think I’ll - work, read, play, errands, work, read, play, errands, work, read, play, errands – I love repetition

it would be nice to have a massage & a lazy afternoon curled up with a good book about a hot woman . . . or maybe better without the book

anyone in Calgary single & free tonight ? yes & yes gets leftovers & a movie !

Mark

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Mark, Just a quick note to let you know I enjoy your insight to all our human conditions, I truly think you are a philosopher, poet and a scholar......... your day job is just a hobby to allow you to think, wonder, and write. Al S.

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Hey Mark Looks like there are two NBs now, so I will use NMB from now on to avoid confusion. I'm the one with horses who doesn't write often! NMB

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Lost? Failed? You never fail to succeed, Mark. There is no such thing as failure. There is only success manifesting its different aspects., LR

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Golden, like an apple! exactly, like William Tell!, RC

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Hi Mark, A lot of work, enjoy what you will, I would like to meet the down side of you!, GI

strong Chinook winds overnight [40-60 km./hr. gusts] continue; +11 C/52F; Gusta leans headlong into those gusts, learning what her name is about, amused by airborne debris

‘Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are.” - Arthur Golden

I have no idea who Golden is/was, but a smart man indeed !

this morning watching recently installed insulation, building wrap & shingles flying off new homes under construction taken together with recent coverage of hurricanes drives this really good metaphor home for me

albeit pale compared to the challenges many face, I’ve faced my share of ‘stripping it all away’ times & know what it is like to stare at what remains

what remained when I’ve lost ?

what remained when I’ve failed ?

one constant – the essence of who I am

as I look at those I know who have dealt with genuine adversity, genuine trauma, the ‘dreaded diagnosis’ come true I am reminded that – in the eye of that hurricane of trouble – is who someone really is

basking in glory & success is a happy time – watching others revel in it is great because we are happy for them, but we never see or reveal our grit when that happens

sometimes it is someone just putting their head down & bravely moving forward, sometimes it is someone making a huge sacrifice for friend or family member, sometimes it is someone going out of their way to make sure someone’s hurt gets attention – this is when character is revealed

some days my brain is teased, tormented & intrigued more than others – some examples:
- RS & I had a very stimulating discussion about character & politics & integrity – I’m glad he’s in my corner, glad he is friend, colleague & co-conspirator !!

- infrequent yet always insightful observer PM in Steamboat Springs sent parting points worth pondering & thanks too to KE for your kind words

- someone asked me if I write to convey a message to someone or to the group; the answer is ‘yes, but rarely’, but the better answer is that I write what is on my mind, in my belly at the moment which, sometimes, if focused on some interaction I’ve recently had with someone

I was supposed to attend a 7 AM NAIOP function; frustrating to waste my ticket, but needing to be at my desk writing 3 offers + 2 new proposals to work on is great consolation; 3 files in the ‘must do this morning’ pile, 3 million it seems in the ‘must give lots of attention soon’ pile; this week has been frenetic - its unlikely to change today

yesterday closed with hop-scotching to functions & errands – a cast of thousands [hundreds at each event] munching shrimp & visiting with tasty treats; great brief chats with AR, JR & AC; so often we form impressions of people from brief snippets – the snippets accumulate but are no substitute for investing time to truly get to know each other; these connections deserve more of me & I’d like to know more of them

speaking of warm people & warm windy places, best birthday wishes to Pam, Bermuda muser ‘PI’

Mark

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While your writing is very good, I don’t have the time... Please take me off your email list. Cheers, jl

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Hi Mark. I could say that I'm too busy, or my email box is too full, but the truth is that I felt that I was reading the same thing from you most everyday. Maybe I've just moved on in my life and no longer need to hear the daily mantra that everything is just around the corner. Everything is in me I am discovering and the external world is a reflection of my search, not the search itself. Anyway, we are in different places in our common search for joy and love. I wish you well. PM

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Some feedback from one of your local and loyal readers: I find 'Musings' to be compelling and look forward to reading it when I arrive in my office and check my morning e-mails. Knowing you, as a guy in the same industry, is also a reward. Since many of your readers do not live or work in Calgary, I thought they should know that Mark K. is a really nice person, when you deal with him, as I have for the past 4 years since we met at a seminar. This is important to realize if you alsofind 'Musings' compelling and inspiring. It would be a real bummer if the Author wasn't a great person, and it would be a real disconnect. Thankfully, this is not the case., K.E.

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Hi Mark, I hope you will keep us posted on Henny. I have been in touch with her, and will send something. I have been in her position before, in fact I am now, and it never occurred to me to include you in my list. So when you receive an email from Carla and the Hope Peace Chamber you'll know it is from your reader, Carla the Artists in Maine, We chatted briefly this summer, one Sunday afternoon. Do you suddenly feel responsibility for this thing you have created, 4600 connections? Let it feed you , not drain you. Be the hollow bone. I send you love. What is your favorite charity?, CS

-1C / 30F; silhouettes of chimneys & rooftops stand out now, as a silvery moon in the west & twilight in the east light the way

I sang most of my Toastmasters speech last night which gave rise to several members advising that I not quit my day job; clearly I lack talent, but make up for it with enthusiasm; on reflection, Frank & I have much in common . .

‘I’m supposed to have a Ph.D. on the subject of women. But the truth is I’ve flunked more often than not. I’m very fond of women; I admire them. But, like all men, I don’t understand them.’ – Frank Sinatra

months blur by . . .

familiar paths – like the one I walk every morning get me through the neighbourhood

others map my day; these habits, these patterns in daily life bring small measures of order into an otherwise chaotic blur of calls, meetings & tasks . . get me through this day, daily

these days & paths, habits, routines . . they get me through the days & weeks

weeks get me through the months

months blur by . . .

busy day waits . . . but it won’t wait long . . . meetings & tasks . . . blur

Mark

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+2C / 36F brilliant sunrise, clear & calm a sharp contrast to nippy mornings of late, traffic hums, we walked around the lagoon, Gusta explored vigorously & is filthy – dog bath happening shortly !

yesterday’s REIX Board meeting followed by a fabulous dinner at La Chaumiere + lots of coffee & some work/calls & a dog walk when I got home . . . needless to say getting to sleep by 3 AM did not produce early rising

I was supposed to do coffee with CD @7:30 – sorry Chris, I blew it . . we’ll have to reschedule

whenever things are great, we are not as good as we think we are; when things go badly we are not 1/10th the fools we often see ourselves resembling

everyone who has enjoyed good fortune – I’ve had my share – realizes good fortune is much less about good luck than it is about good management, skill, perseverance & determination

conversely those of us who have been ‘down on our luck’ – I’ve had my share of that too – realize bad management, lack of skill or failing to try hard are rarely the culprits; though decisions we regret, planning we didn’t do & poor estimating are realities that confront & confound most skilled people, sometimes we find ourselves in a tough spot with no way through it in sight

sometimes things just happen; when they do we have the opportunity/responsibility & sometimes no alternative than to work our way out of those challenges – asking for help is hard for everyone & impossible for many; it assaults our dignity & is so very very humbling

I’ve been in that spot & had help from kind people

I have no difficulty recalling - powerful feelings of helplessness – followed by amazement & relief as someone reached into their heart for me . . .

case in point: Henny, a muser for a long time is down on her luck [see yesterday’s feedback]; she is asking for some financial help if anyone can spare a few dollars

Mark

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Just as handsome as ever with or without the beard!!!! Love it., CB

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Thanks for all the e-mails. How do you find the time? Some days I don't find the time to fill in my personal journal yet you never miss a day. However I find myself deleting your messages before ever reading them, then feeling guilty that I may have missed something, one more emotion I don't need/want. Keep up the good work though Mark, I am sure many people are inspired by your musing. From one of the ships!, NC

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Thank you VBL..and a hug back!, LR

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Hi Mark, You look younger without a beard...........matches your state of mind, I guess., NB

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This might be the wrong subject, I want you to pass the details to your friends who also wanted to help me. Now they are going to kick me out the house soon. Hope there are some people who really want to help some one in need. Been working hard, but for what. I am desperate now, because of my big money problems and now I don't have a penny any more...... the bank, house rent, taxes and other bills, all of these are unpaid. So please if there some one who wants to help me, help me. My e-mail address is hdejoode@home.nl or hennydejoode@hotmail.com. Thanks to those who read my message and Mark please don't delete this message. HdJ

-9C /16F, overcast, light fog & frosty; my sniffing companion seems friskier than usual this morning . . . maybe it was the marrow bone she devoured last night ?

sometimes connections we make – the voice on the other end of the phone might just as easily be across town as 1000 miles away – can be completely uninspiring; then again, some are

we reach out not knowing what we will find; often surprises, sometimes delights, once in a while something life-altering, how do I know which is which & which is Witch ?

everyone I elect not to meet, as a ship passing in the night oblivious to what we might have seen & learned; while everyone I meet represents risk

I might get hurt, I might waste my time, I might get annoyed, I might be rejected, I might be ignored, I might mess with my head . . . or . . .

I might find joy, enlightenment & pleasure; I might meet a friend, find a lover, expand my horizons & find a wide range of needs are met in a new way

just as Gusta learned the best part of the bone is the juicy marrow inside, I think people are a similar metaphor for life – sometimes a stiff exterior, a durable outer surface designed to deflect harshness & troubles, with lots of wonderful stuff inside

ironically perhaps, when people have exhausted medical options, bone marrow transplants are their answer – amazing all that goodness regenerates & heals comes from the marrow inside a bone

I am writing a little later this morning; I started in earnest but phone calls & emails – each one seems to lead to another – have delayed me; quite a contrast of daylight if nothing else to be writing @ 9 AM vis-à-vis 7; an afternoon meeting ahead . . some rush ‘must do’s this morning spread out before me . . .

must motor now !

Note: for those who asked, there is a new beardless photo on both BLOG sites

Mark

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Thanks Mark, you made me smile this morning because I truly, truly, do not remember what I was fretting about a year ago, let alone, a month ago. Live the moment I guess., SdV

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Thank you for the musings ..totally inspiring, LL

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To: LR - You sound like a lovely and dear friend to Mark. Big hug to you. VBL

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Mark: I need to unsubscribe from Musings. I hope that one day I will have thetime to spend on this each day. Thanks, JM

-5C / 23F, overcast, strong north wind invigorates, quickens our pace as each tumbling leaf is a toy for Gusta to chase; 2 dog walkers sighted as the neighbourhood quiet this morning

most Monday mornings I am really bagged from working till 2AM [or later] on my newsletter Sunday night, but a 12:30 finish produces a very different & energetic result

this is the start of a new week

my focus forward, my focus concentrated, my focus on things that are real, worthwhile & achievable – they are worth it & I can win

short term realities mixed with feasible dreams

my mind will sometimes drift into fields of delusions of grandeur, but not for long . . . just long enough to inspire me to those goals which are achievable

do you remember what were you fretting about a year ago . . or two years ago ?

I can’t remember either !

So, do we focus energy on now & future things with potential, or do we dwell in the house of the past, the ‘stuff that really doesn’t matter’ ? which way should we turn ?

‘I know the price of success: dedication, hard work, and an unremitting devotion to the things you want to see happen.’ – Frank Lloyd Wright

have an inspired week, take lots of Wright turns

Mark

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-5C / 23F, overcast except for a cloudless arch on each horizon . . calm

my breathing – in & out – my chest rising & falling as we sprint back from the lagoon where Gusta explored walking on the lagoon ice . . just firm enough to hold her weight, she could see the bottom but not understand why – her education continues

often the best thoughts come while walking; sometimes a new beginning or an ‘ahah’ moment will come out of it, while other days it is just following a dog & picking up after her – some days it is while getting ready to rush out the door

‘If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster.’ - Isaac Asimov

clock tics, six minutes to ; a daughter in town; I’m off to pick up my dad to be meet Carla for breakfast

I find it hard to rush words some time . . but never hard to rush off to meet them

have a great day . . . rush off to hug someone you love

Mark

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Hi Mark, Seems to me that thoughts and intentions are important, but actions, what you are actually doing (being), in the now, are more important.... Joy also is in the present, it's really all we have...and so the present (being present) is really precious ... just some thoughts for you.. Keep on keeping on. Blessings..., CD

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M- Yes, you are the master of subtle references, and some of us, masters at reading them. So, master, I know what you saw of me but what did you see of yourself onthat far off beach two years ago? And more, what have you learned from me, Mark? From you I have learned that, if I'm very still, I can hear my heartbeat and the wind blow at the same time. I have learned that there is no such thing as "the most beautiful sunrise", as each one is uniquely and distinctly breathtaking because it represents a brand new beginning. I have learned that truth is a notion that most of us take for granted but that fairy tales can come true. I have learned that unconditional generosity = Mark(squared). But mostly, I have learned, am still learning, to feel ... to let go, to trust my feelings, to rely on their power, to allowthem. You have taught me the value of sometimes ignoring outside influences in favor of turning inward for the answers. And while the answers may be slow incoming, the lessons are well-understood. I can only hope that what I have "taught" you is as valuable. Hugs, LR
PS: If you want, you can attribute this babble to rampant pregnancy hormones ... regardless of it's source, I don't mean it any less.

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Hi Mark, I'm having major issues with my internet and email. Please unsubscribe meuntil I get this sorted out. We are off to TO next weekend, so am hoping it will be sorted out by the time I get back (by somebody more capable than me) Will let youknow. Cheers, LL

-1C / 30F, overcast, much grooming required as Gusta came back with a bur collection

I saw ‘Wingfield’s Inferno’ with AW last night, # 6 in a series of plays about Walt Wingfield’s exploits . . . the premise is getting a little tired – amusing, but not as good as the previous ones, but good company made up for the play’s shortcomings

check out: http://www.banderasnews.com/0511/nb-festivalopener.htm
waytogo KT, your first published piece from PV !

my head busy, racing ahead with my ‘day ahead things to do challenges’, hard to pin down this thought to explore it; I was intent on returning home inspired to write this piece + my speech for this week’s Toastmasters meeting; I liked the walk but found inspiration harder to summon than usual this morning

I think, whether we walk or fly or sail somewhere, our lessons appear to be less in the trip as much as they are in the process of seeing things through different eyes, seeing things from a different perspective

but that is just window dressing

just an illusion disguising what we learn

whether we travel on a path near home or a far off beach or golf course, what we see - what we have the opportunity to see – is ourselves

when I see myself walking, distractions of dog behaviour & landscape crews aside,

when I see myself observing how much trash blew in, mingled with leaves summer left behind those observations matter little

what matters are my thoughts & intentions of today, the experiences I’ve yet to have

observing that which is left behind that cannot be re-lived, re-constituted or repeated serves me little more than to keep me in some past place a little longer; to smile at memories & mourn losses, but all I can do is replay & replay the past – changing nothing

the past is passed

the future uncharted

like skiing down a mountain, when I turn my head to look in a new direction, my body follows; as I turn again, my course corrects never to be the same as the last run – no matter how hard I try to re-live it, re-trace it or experience again the thrill I had

the greatest joys are not behind us, they are in front of us; the next corner has a surprise around it - I can’t wait to get to the corner

to those who know me well & try to read between the lins, this is NOT a subtle reference to some woman named Joy, but if there was a live Joy around the corner, I’d not change a syllable

for now I’ll expect my joy around the corner may be an experience, an idea or maybe a live person . . perhaps someone to call Joy

Mark
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Thanks Mark, your words hit a chord...in memory of all of our fallen men and women., SB

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Mark, Your assessment of today was right on. Unfortunately, there are those among us who need a whack on the side of the head before they realize that there are peaceful methods of solving problems and differences. Thought you would enjoy this video as we approach the 11th hour............, NB

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Mark; To answer your question regarding a revolution in human behavior... Notgoing too happen. As much as man has technologically advanced himself the olhuman nature remains intact un-evolved. One of the few things we can do herein our country is to ensure our politicians are vigilant in maintaining individual rights and freedoms in our country as well as upholding our democratic rights, something I see slipping here in response to 911. Rights and freedoms is what we are about here and we must maintain what has made us envied around the world. There is only one Canada and we can be thankful for lives given to protect it. My thanks esp. to a father and stepfather who gave a few years of their lives to protect the next generation. JM

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Hi Mark. Can you please send me that clip for Remembrance Day ...my Grandfather lost his leg in WWI and, though he's passed on, my Dad has never let any of us forget how proud we should be ...for which I am forever grateful. I would love to pass this on to him., SP

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Hi Mark, Much as I have enjoyed receiving your Musings, due to the large number of e-mails I'm receiving and the difficulty getting through them all I would request you remove me from your distribution list. Should you get to Edmonton and have any free time please call and we can have lunch. Regards, GD

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Mark - As I am a woman who is not attracted to men with hair on their face -(I always feel like they are hiding behind the hair) I along with AS would also like to see a photo of you without the beard and/or mustache. I have three brothers and they all have beards. I feel that they are all more attractive clean shaven. VBL

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Please add me to the list of those requesting the video clip. You musings keep me centered once again. Still spending most of my time at the hospital. Looks like a transitional facility is in the immediate future. Take Care. Bp

Gusta cannot figure out where the snow went; darkness gone, I walked later than usual, 0C /32F , mix of sun & cloud as the neighbourhood sleeps on this semi-holiday

GL is having a birthday today - always easy to remember that date; all the best my friend !

but, is the darkness gone ?

do we live in an age of enlightenment, or simply one of information overload without understanding ?

today we pause for a couple of minutes silence; 11AM, the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month; the anniversary of the end of WW I & other conflicts too this is a Canadian tradition marked by a poppy & a bugle – as we remember those who lived as well as those who died, those who fought, those who worked, those who did our dirty work in war time & peace time & the tenuous in-between times

I am encouraged when I read/listen to historians analyze the progress of democracy around the world, explain how it reduces conflict & warmongering – I am encouraged but skeptical because I live in Canada just 200 miles from the most powerful democracy on earth, which is mired in a conflict on the other side of the world - a conflict they started, a war that sends body bags home every day

I had the privilege of hearing a speech earlier this year delivered by retired Lt. Gen Roméo Dallaire who commanded Canada’s peace-keeping force in Rwanda among many other distinguished accomplishments

I was struck by the peaceful spirit of this great Canadian, now a Senator, former COO of our country’s war fighting machine

I was struck by his vivid descriptions of unspeakable atrocities behind the headlines; more than anything, I was struck by the stories of Canadian soldiers braving unspeakable dangers to save lives, doing things soldiers from other countries were avoiding – in harm’s way they work for us every day while we sit comfortably in the largest safe democratic country on the planet

conflict, war & killing is stupid – few would disagree, but will there come a day when we citizens of the world in this 21st century start a true revolution in human behaviour?

is the darkness gone ? will it ever be gone ?

for those who are today or have ever been in harm’s way for us, we owe them our lives because they risked & often lost there’s for us

lest we forget

Mark

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Would love to see the video Mark. And thank you for giving me an intention for this day - today I will look for the masterpiece which is my life. AJB.

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I would love to see the Video clip. Cheers, SA

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Mark, just catching up on some musings as you can see. Politics huh? Seems down your alley. More intriguing to me would be a pic of you without the beard and mustache! Think I could get one? How are things with you otherwise?, AS

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I have been added to your list a few months ago. I have enjoyed your musings and am thankful to be added but would really like to know who provided my e-mailaddress to you? I would also appreciate receiving the Remembrance Day clip. My step-father served for 6 years in WWII; his story of belief in his country and struggle to survive is remarkable. He has spent the last 6 weeks in the hospital struggling to be the person he once was. This last 6 weeks has shown me that sometimes we need to remind society that the elderly have given so much to our society that they need to be honoured and treated accordingly. Thanks, JS

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Mark, Very interested in the video clip you reference re remembrance day. Please send it along. Very on-the-mark (pardon the pun) comments yesterday re marketing to fear. I see the same things in a variety of industries. I wonder why? Take care, BS

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Excellent perspective presented in your comments today, Mark. I've been struggling lately with some self-esteem / what's it all about issues. Time to realize I should take control THIS day of my actions and attitude. Regards, BM

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Hello Mark, I would like that file as my father was overseas. Tomorrow is importantto me and SHOULD BE for all of us who are here appreciating this wonderful opportunity filled world afforded to us by the sacrifices from SO MANY. Thanks Mark,JJ

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And one of the wonderful advantages of living in today is that we can start our day over at any time during that day if something occurs to dampen our enjoyment of this time. That's one of my favorite awarenesses; if someone comes along and affects me negatively and starts messing up my serenity - I can devote as much time to the negativity as I wish to - and then start my day over. It's a wonderful tool! LBK, Palm Desert, CA.

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Thank you Mark, truly inspiring today. I hope to paint a masterpiece today, or at least get the fuchsia on the canvas! So many opportunities, and paths we choose, it is time to start seeing where my next path is going to lead, with the confidence that it will make that amazing masterpiece!, SadV

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Mark - I was very inspired by your musing today. On that note I am getting into my car and heading West into the mountains without an agenda. Leaves are still changing and it is a balmy 72 degrees. Good day to make some positive changes in my life. VBL

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I am not sure if this is the video Krista sent but this one brought tears to my eyes and the music is great too. It's not even country !! Have a great day! Think of me tonight while I hold a wedding rehearsal dinner for 44 . Yikes !! Two more days before my baby boy ties the knot. , CC

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Hey Mark, Tks for breakfast it was good to catch up on your "masterpiece" and just so you have it in writing.... let me know what you need and when you need it and I'll be glad to do my best for you. , WB

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Hello Mark, Can you send me the Remembrance Day clip you mentioned? Thanks in advance!, KS

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I continue to marvel at the randomness and synchronicity of the events in our lives. How would our lives be different had we been born a year later, not slept in and missed the bus, or as you suggest - made the choice to take one path while the another was equally inviting? Who would we be? As Tennyson suggests, we are part of all that we have met and all that we have experienced; and truly, that does make all the difference. Thanks for sharing, Mark. LS

+5C / 41F, snow melts as warm Chinook winds make their statement, morning sunrise populates clouds with bold purple, pink & magenta lighting my western sky; it looks like a masterpiece – in 20 minutes it will be changed, never to be repeated exactly the same

THIS day, this incredible one of a kind day begins, never to be repeated exactly the same

this day is not ‘just a Thursday’ or any Thursday . . or just another set of 24 hours

like that dawn sky, my original masterpiece ‘THIS day’ begins as blank canvas/page every day

I can paint whatever I want or leave it blank

I can make it a day of rest, play, work; I can make it a day when I reach out or I can make it a day to hide-out

I can initiate many things . . . or avoid it all

I can start something, or finish something or change direction completely several times during the day . . or before lunch; these many choices intermingled with the choices others make will determine whether something worthy of hanging somewhere special will result at day’s end or if it will just leave me with 24 hours less in my life with nothing fresh created

24 hours - too precious to waste sitting on my hands, my mouth or holding back on what I want to do, say or accomplish

whatever I paint today, I’ll surely paint another tomorrow

and the day after that; and the day after that, but why waste today’s opportunity ?

what causes us to take a particular path, choose a career, move from here to there?

sometimes those series of multiple collisions of random events, sometimes ‘decisions du jour’ made for reasons that seemed important at the time take us somewhere very special, take us on a winter picnic . .

uncharted paths diverging in the wood beyond what Frost could have ever dreamed

everyone has their own crooked path with sharp changes in direction, each as unique as a snowflake or a finger print . . no 2 alike

such divergent paths - we each have them – compound when we meet others with equally randomly chosen paths

will we intersect . . will we picnic ? . . or just paint them over leaving a brief image in yesterday’s canvas but not today’s ?

magical opportunities present themselves every day, though we don’t often recognize them

I try try hard to look less & see more, to see those opportunities, see them & put them up on my canvas – exploring possibilities

when I connect with people who, had either of us made a single different step along the way, would never have had an opportunity to meet, I feel adrenaline flow

not because I have any notion of where that connection might go, but thrilled to know I will learn lots & likely see a change of some sort to my life as a result; maybe it will only be a splash on my canvas for 1 day never to appear again, but likely something more indelible

a single step brings us closer . . while a step in the other direction doubles the distance apart

my random life is richer today, not because of what I did yesterday, but because of what I will do today, which brings me to ‘what will I do today?’ , but because I am ready to picnic !

clearly the pile of sequential organized priority items piled on the corner of my desk will get attention – the sequence will probably be altered at least twice before 9 AM if the phone doesn’t ring; likely 4 or 5 changes if it does

my point, yes I have one, is this:

my masterpiece can neither be planned or predicted

my masterpiece will include energy & care & randomness & beauty & truth

what will yours be made of ?

rear view mirror thinking is not something I do lots of, but tomorrow why don’t we all look back to see what kind of masterpiece our today was ?

[note: since I started drafting this I’ve received 2 emails from Krista [my gawd she is so excited about her new job & new love & move] & 1 a catch up note from KT confirming all is well in PV; the 2nd email from Krista included a 5 minute video clip that EVERY Canadian should see this remembrance day; it is a big-honkin file so I cannot attach it but I will send to anyone who asks - my canvas changed already & it’s just 8 AM ]

Mark

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Thx for this Mark. It triggered an insight for me - I am dealing with so many fears based people these days...what they seem to fear is the provincial government more and more., KC

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Re: Overcoming "fear" (the objections)

Good thoughts Mark.....very true! Cheers, TL

darkness & quiet are comforting companions early in the morning – as if they walk with us, sharing the moment; 0C / 32 F, our walk disturbed only by Gusta’s race after a phantom rabbit

I am wondering, how does one market proactively to fear based thinkers ?

‘fear based’ thinking is so pervasive, I am wondering if my entire marketing strategies should be repositioned to bring clients to my door more effectively . . by addressing their fears

yesterday a client & I met with a Mayor & an advisor – to inform, to persuade & advocate for my client’s project . . . in the end progress was made because we were able to get them to open up about ‘what they are afraid of’, for in fact they are very supportive . . . our selling job is not one of promoting the aspects of our project of merit, but rather one of helping them address fears – most of which will be dispelled by good information

last night, conferenced in on to a meeting of a town council on a very different project, I found the same elements present; in the end the two dissenters became allies once their fears were addressed

fear, clearly a factor in both instances – overcoming those fears required providing information to dispel them with fact, with provision of a broader understanding . . nothing more

sometimes I chase a phantom; I chase the missed opportunity, I chase the possible . . but I don’t do it from a fear based perspective; maybe I should rethink that . .

if we conquer fear, what obstacles remain ?

a full day ahead of meetings & writing & Toastmasters tonight, but first, breakfast with WB . . gotta run


Mark

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Gusta and I walk . . we go through the motions of waking up -2C / 28F under star-lit moonless clear sky . . . thoughts of walking a beach on my brain

my daughter Krista [kk] is excited; she got the job she was seeking in Edmonton . . so she will be leaving Lethbridge later this month – big news !

about 30 years ago, listening to a radio show in the evenings while I worked building a basement rec-room – the combination of great music coupled with readings of Joseph Konrad’s writings took me away . . far away . . romance of the sea, images of exotic ports of call, all without leaving my basement – those were trips !

when on vacation I ponder the differences between that & home; I’m wondering this morning how much ‘home’ is like vacationing – answer: not much, but maybe it could be !

playing with a zeal for exploration, relaxation, seeing new things, seeing old things from a new perspective could just as easily be put to work at home as on some far-off beach or new place

I wonder what I will discover today if I am looking ?

I wonder where I can go ?

I’m off to an early breakfast with JJ . . gotta run

Mark

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Mark: you have to start training Gusta to walk (run) off-leash! Believe me, some work in training will make your mornings less dangerous. Hugs, AW

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Mark, It has been fun, but could you remove me from the distribution list. Thanks, JS

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What, nothing on last night's West Wing "live" debate? I don't think I've ever witnessed a clearer demonstration of opposing political philosophies., RH

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Hi Mark - Haven't replied in a long time. I get your posts at work and I have been off on disability since Aug 3. Ran my leg into the cattle squeeze in the corral and came off my horse and broke my hip. Pretty lame thing to do for an experienced horseman (I use the term generically, horseman, horsewoman?? who cares, it is the horse part that is the important piece) Just goes to show you, one second of distraction and Wham, a life changing incident. Lots and lots of time to muse! Still off work, but I have remote access now to my emails. This is a real opportunity for growth for me , I am learning patience ( of which I have little for myself), healing is slow and my horses stand in the field and grow fat ( they aren't complaining!), reaffirming my resiliency, my inner strength. From "Oh crap, it's broken" and expecting it to be better quickly to realizing that this is life changing experience. Secondary soft tissue injury continue to flare up and as I mentioned I have little patience with my physical weakness. I have always been the "I can do it" person, being physically strong and able is a huge part of how I see myself so I now have to readjust my vision of "Who I am". Lots of time for musing and lots of grist for the mill! Sorry to ramble on, but you are a captive audience and I am sick of my own company! Take care, it nice to be able to catch up on your musings. , NB

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Hi Mark, Sorry I missed your call, I was away for the weekend. Talk to you later in the week., GR

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Hi Mark, As always I enjoy reading your musings. I noticed you did not seem to enjoy the meal or the banquet much on Sat. night. Sorry to hear this as there are many who read your musings. Ah...would appreciate your feedback as this is how we all grow. Glad you had a great time with your Toastmaster friends - a great part of meeting people at the Conference. Sherry did a great job with her speech. I had heard a lot about it and it was as entertaining as I heard from other people., Thanks, NV

-8 C / 18F, a dusting of snow on the lagoon ice . . . serene, untouched as Gusta [with 8 hrs. sleep] tests the running ability of her owner [3 hrs. sleep] . . . but that’s another story

most of my weekend was pleasant, domestic & calm [translation: alone !]

I am energized; maybe it was the walk & fresh air or the calls & flurry of faxes already this morning or maybe it’s the caffeine

just got off the phone with a municipal official I am dealing with on behalf of a client; the discussion went in a direction that could only be described as marketing & innovation which is cool because the rest of this was already drafted before he called

‘Business has only two functions - marketing and innovation.’ – Peter Drucker

this week’s pile o’ work should be conquered by close of business Tuesday leaving the rest of the week for exploration . . .

I’m percolating

I’m bubbling

I’m brewing . . . . more coffee please !

Mark

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-4 /25 F ; overcast, light snow - like icing sugar – dusting everything just enough to obscure, not enough to produce firm footing

the musing ‘list code’ indicates how long you have been a muser; each of the 15 lists has about 400 addresses - to lose someone from list 1 is a very big deal !

but, it is time to bid farewell to Pat [PB] . . who wrote rarely but always thoughtfully; he has left us with parting words of his recent experiences in New Orleans & a link to his photography

http://patburke.digitalphotochat.com

ah . . thanks to my Toastmasters friends for a great time at the banquet last night; the long program & mediocre meal was made bearable . . we were well entertained at our table; a speaker yesterday inspired me when he spoke of the many forms of the ‘ah’

ah . . . dogs [retrievers named Maggie(2) & Sophie(6)] & rabbits [2] entertained Gusta this morning, as she pulled us both across ever piece of ice covered by snow you could imagine – broken bones barely avoided !

ah . . . not much better could this morning be unless in the company of someone who enjoyed Sunday morning lounging around coffee & papers as much as I do

ah . . to imagine a weekend in Portland [great article in the NY Times on Portland Maine v. Portland Oregon] or golfing in Puerto Vallarta or sprawled on a massage table

awe . . we are what we think about

what are you thinking about ?

awe . . . opportunity, that what we miss unless we grab it

awe . . amazing, the range of thoughts conjured in a room when everyone was asked to name their favorite thing . . . c’mon . . . what’s yours ?

not your list of things you like, but your 1[ONE] favorite thing

no need to publish it . . just know what it is, where it is & how you are going to get lots of it

maybe it’s in Portland or Tucson or Puerto Vallarta or right here .. ?

ah . .

Mark

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make no assumption that my times bonding with your words, your meanderings, your analysis and experiences were not excellent. that's why I got attracted in the first place. and like you, I tend to write long when I have something to say, so I can appreciate the effort put forth. I just need the time to discover new vistas for post-Katrina Pat Burke like you need to carve out a place to explore tomorrow's Mark Kolke, and hanging on just to delete your muses seems pretty pointless., PB

. . .
I wrote him with some questions . . here is his reply:

MK - You've been around a long time . .but silent for a long time too !
PB - sorry about the silence. Many changes have taken place in the past year, and even though I had scant chance to exchange thoughts or comments, I found the routine of reading and/or deleting your log notes to be a connection with the land to the North. Something other than subtropical New Orleans. The first blow to my focus was when I took on exhibiting my photographs in Bay St. Louis, Mississippi starting in February. It was a radical addition to my other two local monthly markets (Bywater and Mid-City) and racheted up the business end of my photography enterprise. Of course there have been new relationships and a much wider range of people, so my time reading "Mark's latest" was mostly crowded out by "today's latest." Life does that to you. O, then there was that...thing...in late August. I didn't read you at all in September or October but I was aware that I was now getting two emails related to your blog.

MK - How did you fare in the hurricanes?

PB - I skated through relatively ok, Mark. Spent the storm in my second story complex apartment in River Ridge on the outskirts of New Orleans watching the show of a lifetime. I have an alcove porch that overlooks the parking lot and from that vantage, I blog'd my way through that Sunday night and Monday morning (Aug 28-29) until 5am or so when the whole world went dark. Of course at 5am in late August dawn is only minutes away so as the sun rose, so did Katrina's fury. Think of the worst thunderstorm you've ever been through, double the wind and take away most of the thunder and you have something approximating that morning. The throaty roar of the wind was amazing. With the power out, the usual electrical utility hum in the air that we're not even aware of was gone and only pure the sound of nature in stampede continued. Pieces of God-what-the-hell-was-that flew into view across my window occasionally. Almost everyone had evacuated a day or more earlier. In an 18-building complex (40 apartments per unit) there were no more than a dozen residents who stayed, an amazing statistic considering the dozens of hurricanes that locals usually ride out here. Everyone knew that this was the famous BIG ONE that would probably hit New Orleans, as did Betsy in 1965. In 1969, hurricane Camille came close and decimated the Mississippi Gulf Coast. As of Saturday afternoon, people were jamming the highways headed North and West. Katrina did both. I rode it out originally because I became aware of a lot of elder residents that are here and, having lived on my own for a bit more than a year since my separation, I decided that I should stay for decidedly heroic reasons. Having committed to the decision, someone stole all my old people. Sunday morning they all left and only two other apartments far down at the other end of the atrium were still occupied. So now it was just me and I needed another reason cause I was sure stuck here for the duration. As the storm approached I realized that the elders had just been an excuse, a device if you will, to allow me to do something that is so ingrained into those of us in Southeast Louisiana that we don't even think about it. To ride out The Big One in my own home town. I was born here. Grew up in the uptown Carrollton neighborhood. O sure, most took one look at the approaching maelstrom and ran like smart rabbits. In past hurricanes I had taken the family to the downtown Hilton and reserved a room on the 19th floor looking down river. A comfortable view of nature's bluster. But never with winds above 150mph. Outside, Monday morning, huge pieces of oak trees tumbled past my vantage. I described the wind as doing a samba, then a mambo and later a wild cha cha. The crown of the oak across the way swayed with a fury I didn't think was capable in so stout a tree. Twice during the morning I ventured out beyond the sliding glass partition to the porch with my camera, naked, and pressed myself against the back wall of the alcove, trying to find a still shot that could describe what I was seeing. Nothing between me and the meanest most furious wind that could be imagined. Later I realized that nothing could have conveyed those moments. My shots are, even to me, just a big rainstorm. The magic was so wild it was uncapturable. Mostly I remember the wide range of pressures against my body. A hurricane is, after all, all about pressure. Very LOW pressure. You can feel it all through yourself and, in addition to the terror that one tries to suppress, works to make one breath in short gasps. You cannot relax in a cat 4 or 5 hurricane. It took almost a day before the winds died down, but Monday night was the darkest night I'd ever experienced. The lights of the suburban neighborhood that give the horizon a bronzy glow, the distant lights of the great city...were out. Gone. It was as if I was far in the woods. I felt like the only human being left on the planet....and I dug the wildness of it all. After two more days I was feeling a bit too animal for my own comfort and drove to Alexandria 300 miles away. Needless to say, Katrina has brought everything we take for granted to a screeching halt, and only in the past two weeks has there been a spare moment during which we might forget what has been alternately blown over or drowned or twisted beyond recognition. The gallery below gives something of the after effects. I am a carpenter, so the reminders of Katrina are a bit more frequent for me, and having work gets me out where the amazing stuff is still there to see. I suggested to a tour guide friend of mine that he should offer disaster tours. He tried to give one but became too depressed. O, I still photograph (mostly Katrina debris pics) and am setting up an eBay outlet to move my photographic collection as I am able (pre-Katrina New Orleans photography is suddenly chic), but it would take a book-length effort to explain the chronicle of the past 2+ months beyond what you hear or read in the news. Still, it's good that you remembered me. I know the growth of the daily meditation serves to center your life. I once saw a picture of you and your father together and remarked at how alike you two looked.

. . .
My name is XXXX. I reside in Palmdale, California. I'm the type of person that goes with the flow, a current caught me, and I guess that's how I got on your list. I'm writing in response to someone nearing her due date, how people could get together in spirit, might I suggest getting together electronically? My daughter moved to a different state. She misses her pet rodents (and her family and friends, of course). Home sickness comes and goes, but the Logitech (R) QuickCam chat works great, it even comes with a headset. My husband will be sending one to our daughter soon so that we could see her when we chat.. Just a suggestion. Carry on with your musings, never heard of it before. With yourself at the helm, you probably wonder what faces are reading your words. So when I get my scanner up, I'll send ya a photo, ok? Or maybe I have a pix of me online somewhere???? I'll check. Sincerely, AP

everyone must have left early or be sleeping late; so calm & quiet this -5C/23F brilliant clear morning; Gusta [8 months old today] discovered snow lumps are a food group

my Globe & Mail is late . . whatever will I do ? how can I start my day ?

I think I should invent something new to describe that time between 5PM Friday & Monday morning – I think I’ll call it the WEEKENENDBEND, more of a slow curve turnaround devoid of sharp stops & starts than that of a genuine break between work & leisure

I say ‘I’ll do that on the weekend’ or ‘I’ll finish that by week’s end’

when does a week-end, when does a weekend end . . or begin for that matter?

it seems I always have a target of 5PM Friday, but by Monday morning there is always something I was ‘going to do by the end of the previous week’ staring me in the face as first order of business; the week/weekend/start of next one long ago ceased to be a separation

this continuum really works best for me as I mix work & play & things that interest – not stopping too long to say ‘I am alone with nothing to do’; no shortage of things I need to do, the by-product of having taken procrastination beyond affliction, morphing it into an art-form

more ‘free-form’ working - a couple of days for resting & reading & doing domestic chores, visiting with friends etc.

work is leisure, leisure is work, work is play, play is work; they blend together, usually in some degree of harmony

works for me !

for me a putzing around home domestic day + 3 files on my desk await ‘the calm & quiet concentration’ they deserve; or that was my rationale for not dealing with them yesterday; then off to a Toastmasters event & dinner later

Mark

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Thanks Mark, Actually, I used to receive your musings under XXXXXXXXXX.com, I recently changed companies and would like to continue receiving your thoughts. Keep up the great work; it is truly a labour of love!, SB

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Mark, your 'bringing musers together' as you know has worked terribly well for me and my now very good friend Joan, altho she is based in Edmonton and I am near Edinburgh in Scotland a life long friendship has been forged. Our children have visited each others homes and each year we will seek each other out either at our base or worldwide. For me the together component initially would need to be internet based and then if the layering of communication gave seed to a friendship the meetings would follow. Certainly a good idea for like minds...I often wonder who it is who is contributing to your feedback and the ones I appreciate could be told directly. Of course friendship is only one avenue, perhaps there would be room for romance too in those who have the essential chemistry... and then even photographs could be provided with the ID.. All food for thought.. Good luck with this., SF

. . .

Well Mark, what a cutie KT is!! Mi Gusta, small world, we actually have run into one another a few times downtown. Very busy with work (real estate is nuts here) and getting my condos ready for rentals, short six weeks and they are almost ready and I have clients through the hotel and the suites are getting booked,,,I guess I am playing off of someone else's misfortune, I didn't start the hurricane. Is it right place at the right time? Good to hear about the apples! Hope I get to know KT better soon, sinceramente, TA

. . .

Potluck muser gathering early in the year is a great idea! AR

. . .

Hi Mark, I have always loved the idea of a meeting of all musers. It would be nice to put faces and stories to initials. Unfortunately, some time early in the new year would bring me too close to my delivery date to be able to travel. But I can send my best wishes via email or video! How about that? For those who cannot attend, maybe our comments/pictures could be compiled into an email almanac of sorts...I'm just trying to think of a way we can all participate in spirit even if we can't be there in person. Hugs, LR

0C / 32F in my world as an icy film coats the lagoon like an abscissa on an ‘about to overflow’ glass , pierced here & there as ducks take-off & land; Gusta’s snout encrusted as she continues to plow every chance she gets; just 7 weeks till Christmas yet it feels like a spring morning – as we picked our way through snow-melt slush & patches of bare path

ideas – they jump out all over the place – sometimes we catch one going by, often we don’t; someone stepped out of the box, grabbed 1 of my ideas, made it better & handed it back to me on a platter yesterday in turn advocating for someone to give me a very nice assignment with loads of potential – thanks TH !

‘If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.’
- George Bernard Shaw

yesterday, a ‘turn the corner’ day on several fronts & deals + some ‘small world’ moments of laughter - as the crossing of paths by friends who have friends in common makes ‘6 degrees of separation’ seem like amateur hour

the notion of bringing ‘musers’ together is something I explored a couple of years ago, but we never did it . . perhaps it was too ambitious a plan involving people traveling substantial distances; I’m thinking of doing something early in the new year . . .maybe a Friday evening pot-luck in a community hall or something like that; I’d be interested in feedback . . .

Mark
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Mark - you are not alone in your observation about the Toastmasters as a group of friends who run a Toastmasters Meeting. And you get bonus points for the use of epiphany! AW

. . .
Mark, Your Paul Simon quote reminds me of another. "You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep." -American Indian Proverb, Navajo , JT

. . .

I wrote a friend last week about a Paul Simon song - "Maybe I Think Too Much" I remember musing at the time "Finally, they wrote a song for me!" CH

. . .

Back on the list. Thanks., WM

like a Simon & Garfunkel song . . . slip sliding away, crunchy ice everywhere, -5C / 25 F this morning under light cloud . . calm . . . snow will probably disappear in a day or so; so nice to see everything bright & clean as opposed to pre-winter drab & dusty

sometimes we strain hard to see things deeply or to see into the future while the most important simple truths are often in our face, in our hands but we are visually impaired to see things as they are

I remember as a youngster hearing about clairvoyance for the first time – about insightful visions of things to be . . I thought it was a writer named Claire Voyance

from a modern day prophet, a timeless axiom, explaining definitively why we can be so focused & so ignorant all at the same time . . in just 12 words

‘ A man sees what he wants to see, And disregards the rest.’ – Paul Simon

last night’s little epiphany – I realize I am no longer seeing the group as a speakers club – but more as a group of friends who happen to run a Toastmasters meeting each time we gather; I doubt I am alone in that view

Mark

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Mark - I remember that story in your musings a couple of years ago. Sad to be married, but it seemed no longer "scrumptious" in your husband's eyes. And yes, you are hanging out with a better class of people! Hugs AW

. . .

Mark, what's happened? Stopped getting your musings last week. Since it's almost the only mail I get (no friends, dontcha know), I kind of miss your missives. Hope you are okay., WM

singular band of cloud on east horizon, like a mat border around a painting framing clear twilight; we walked with ease, a crunchy 3 inch blanket of we snow everywhere – laden tall grass & covered trees conjure greeting card images – like a tunneling snow plow Gusta entertained by running her snout along the grass beneath the snow, no doubt looking for familiar scents as she frolicked in snow for the first time in her 8 month life; -3C / 27F

just when we least expect it, people amaze us; more often than not I find people exceed my expectations as opposed to disappointing in any way – not sure if that means I am hanging out with a better class of people or if it means I used to be too cynical ?

whirlwind yesterday, meetings went well, catch up chats with several people, dinner with JB + a ton of calls & 200 more emails than I really wanted to deal with last night as I extricated myself from the 3 hr slippery ride that should have taken 90 minutes; were goals met, did we really make a difference ? hhhmm???? some days are for doing, some for learning, some for both, some for neither . . I’d like to think we did a bit of each

comments yesterday caused me to re-read it; I’m amazed, flattered & thrilled when something I’ve written strikes a deep chord with someone, even more amazed when it is something I turned out quickly or from someone of the feminine persuasion who ‘wants to meet me’ !

some days I look back at some old musings . . often checking the same date in a previous year, in part looking for inspiration, in part reminiscing . . today I re-read something I wrote Nov. 2, 2003 that took me back to that day with very vivid memories, so I thought you might enjoy it:

November 2/03 – Sunday morning Y&Y musings. . .what a great morning walk. . . mild with light fluffy snow falling . . making me itch to be on a ski slope . . . . as I read my NY Times at Bass Brothers [Starbucks next door was full] . . . I had an interesting contrast – on one side of me was a couple meeting for the first time . . music appreciation clearly their common bond . . she was nervous, he was petrified . . but they seemed to be hitting it off . . . ; on the other side a married couple ‘bout my age . . she was scrumptious and he clearly has forgotten that . . . they were reading papers together . . and she mentioned a cruise, his reply was concerned more with the cost than any observation of her expression . . delight declining to . . to . . to a dimmer place …are we not like dimmer switches . . or tri-light bulbs . . . with 50w, 100w & 150w settings – how is it we miss the difference . . when someone’s 50w smile could be a 150w hot glow in an instant . . . just requiring a little sensitivity . . a little inspiration . . or perspiration . .

Mark

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Thanks Mark, you inspired me today., NL

. . .
Today was all planned. A pleasant day's excursion to the Seattle Art Museum, chauffering two elderly friends and my best gal pal to a Lewis Comfort TIffany show. Supremely pleasant and undemanding. I dodged into my office to check on a few details and push the day's alotment through the fax machine. The phone rang and the tiny holes in the receiver seemed to blow a tornado force that made my hair whip and tears stream from my eyes. Thus spoke Andrew. Unfulfilled expectation, new documentation, the total transformation of my day. Undeterred and unable to contact anyone to postpone departure, I started to punch the sour dough of my daily bread and attempt to raise it into a new and equally sustaining loaf. What was to be a light hearted trip with friends became a more arduous trek through truncated conversations, coordinated and re negotiated details disturbingly threaded through the visual delight of Tiffany and upscale lunch downtown. More calls, wandering through the Pike Place Market and exercising my marketing skills via cell phone. Approaching the ferry home the loose threads all settled into an acceptable pattern and my sour dough was remade into a fresh and nourishing loaf. Have a Nice Day! , CH

. . .
Hello my musing friend, Today you were exceptional. If I weren't so busy I would try to get in touch with you, but see you are heading out of town, I leave for Palm Desert tomorrow for my three weeks there. I will be back in Calgary for about two weeks after that, sooooo if you haven't fallen deeply in love and I haven't been swept off my feel by some handsome dude from California, maybe we two could meet. My best, GP

I’m really well rested this morning – amazing what good sleep does, recharged; 0C / 32 F, wisps of cloud fail to obscure the stars, Halloween decoration remnants dot the neighbourhood landscape, a single engine plane’s drone is the only sound above Gusta’s panting – the weather that precise spot where water freezes/thaws . . she tests the delicate coat of ice on a puddle, her weight pushing through

routine gets things done for me, my days full of schedules & lists & the change of direction in a day’s activity that can happen each time the phone rings – the routine keeps me steady, gets the day to day necessities taken care of . . . pushing through with things too easily left aside

I’m off to Edmonton early for meetings there today & back tonight

it’s the uniqueness of the people involved each time are the butterscotch ripple in business that is often pure vanilla – otherwise the elements of my work deal largely with execution of transactions, each one not that unique from many others . . . pushing through, pushing on gets it done every time

then sometimes . . yesterday’s meeting & another one today being great examples . . . extraordinary things get started, get better, get figured out . . with all the smart kids in the sandbox, it is so much fun to play

we get to collaborate in invention; my team & their team together figuring out something that has not been done before – where only an extraordinary result will do, where going beyond the extraordinary is where everyone’s mind is focused – pushing through the routine, pushing through convention . . looking for the wisdom that would elude us if we did not try so hard & engage the minds of so many really incredible people

“ I never did anything worth doing by accident; nor did any of my inventions come by accident; they came by work.” – Thomas Alva Edison

“ Too often we forget that genius, too, depends upon the data within its reach, that even Archimedes could not have devised Edison’s inventions.” – Ernest Dimnet

compelling need, extraordinary solution, interesting clever people & teamwork – a recipe I like a lot; following our meeting yesterday an interesting chat with KB as she explained how an interior design background prepared her for a career in accounting - described as ‘maintaining order’ in things . . . I liked that

maybe I’ll change my thinking about routine . . . to ‘maintaining order’

Mark

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